Change in sexual preferences

[Incognito]

Ha, as I typed the title I realized what most will probably think, lol. No, I'm not talking about heterosexuality vs homosexuality. I'm talking about unisexuality. Ever since I have been married I have had basically no sex life. I remember seeing a tee shirt that showed a man and woman cutting a wedding cake, below it read "Marriage: The end of a perfectly good sex life". That message has rung true for me. I always had a raging sex drive and I used to agonize about why my wife has no sex drive. I used to loose sleep over it, and stress about it during the day.

Six months after being married I discovered artificial vaginas. I had no idea anything like that existed (yeah I was a little naive). I have never stopped buying or using artificial vaginas after that, mainly because my sexual situation never changed (wife's sex drive). I started on 'affordable' toys and eventually moved up to 'quality' toys. I am now in the golden age of my toy ownership with well made and high end toys.

That brings me to now and the reason I posted this. I am finding that I am really not interested in sex with my wife very often anymore. There are politics involved with sex, and too many things that can disrupt the frequency of it or make the actual act less enjoyable. I buy a toy, I lube it up, I use it, I feel good, done. With the wife I have to hope that she isn't pissed off at something, stressed about anything, tired,or busy and feels up to humoring my sexual needs. Not to mention that sometimes her vagina doesn't smell like anything, and sometimes it smells like a corpse. Astroglide on a toy never smells. I've never had discomfort while using a toy either, but I have gotten abrasions on my cock during sex. Not enjoyable at all and it takes a week to heal.

Someone posted a thread similar to this, but on the flip side of the coin. She, unfortunately, is with a man who flaunts his toy in her face and seemingly compares it to her. I don't do that. My wife has a limited knowledge of my toys (i.e. she knows I have them, but doesn't know how many and has never seen them), and doesn't wish to know about them. I had never considered unisexuality, but after having sex only a few times a year for so long I really don't think its worth the trouble. Also factored into that is the fact that I realize that the past years have affected my sex drive. If I could have I'd have made love, had sex and f*cked multiple times per day earlier in our marriage. Even after I moved on to toys I used to use them whenever I could, usually multiple times per day. Now she is ALWAYS in the house, which limits how often and when I can use them. This has led to an overall drop in my sex drive since I just don't have an outlet as often as I'd like, and that bothers me.

I really enjoy the female form, and I do look lustfully at my wife sometimes, but then I just think of the politics, the possible smell and dirty sheets....

[girl68]

Hey well you had to find a solution, I guess this is it. Whatever works man...

[ktm390]

Some say that girls are their downfall
Some boys don't like girls at all
Whatever gets you through the night
Whatever makes everything all right
I'm not the kind to judge you see
what you do is all right with me
Whatever gets you through the night

[doppelgaenger]

You're just bored of your wife. I'm going to get burned by all the married and engaged posters for this, but: this is an obvious consequence of marriage. Let me put it this way - tomorrow you could decide that you're going to stick to eating just one kind of food for the rest of your life. And it doesn't matter what kind of food it is, whether it's your favorite or the most delicious food in the world... you will eventually get sick of it.

Personally, if I were in your shoes and I took up another perspective on the situation, I would NOT say, "Huh, I guess I'm a 'unisexual', *lol* , I guess I'll go to the store and buy some rubber vaginas and everything will be just dandy." No. Instead, I'd do what most people consider a "shitty thing to do" and I'd leave her in pursuit of my own happiness. I'd have to be really desperate to accept a sex toy as a replacement for the favored healthy sex life. I spent my entire adolescence masturbating, and now that I'm an adult... well, you get the picture.

[girl68]

^ Yeah ok. You were dying to marry crazy Cat so whatever.

[doppelgaenger]

^ Yeah ok. You were dying to marry crazy Cat so whatever.

If I married crazy cat, not only would I be bored of her, but I also wouldn't have a penis because she would have ripped it clean off. I told her once about my rubber stroker and she shat a brick! I was also forbidden to watch porn.

[sweetkissesforu]

You're just bored of your wife. I'm going to get burned by all the married and engaged posters for this, but: this is an obvious consequence of marriage. Let me put it this way - tomorrow you could decide that you're going to stick to eating just one kind of food for the rest of your life. And it doesn't matter what kind of food it is, whether it's your favorite or the most delicious food in the world... you will eventually get sick of it.

Personally, if I were in your shoes and I took up another perspective on the situation, I would NOT say, "Huh, I guess I'm a 'unisexual', *lol* , I guess I'll go to the store and buy some rubber vaginas and everything will be just dandy." No. Instead, I'd do what most people consider a "shitty thing to do" and I'd leave her in pursuit of my own happiness. I'd have to be really desperate to accept a sex toy as a replacement for the favored healthy sex life. I spent my entire adolescence masturbating, and now that I'm an adult... well, you get the picture.

I was married once and i had a awesome sex life seriously its people that dont put an effort ino the relationships and nuture it

[sweetkissesforu]

You talk about sex like it is a negative i was married and enjoyed a great sex life and no toys could ever replace cuddles the intimacy and love i dont think your wife could love you or she would be working at this part of your relationship maybe she has hormone problems and should see a doctor

[url]http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0846/is_9_23/ai_n6004441/[/url]

[doppelgaenger]

I was married once and i had a awesome sex life seriously its people that dont put an effort ino the relationships and nuture it

That's great, but it doesn't contradict what I posted. Boredom is a consequence of marriage and in fact, it seems to happen quite often. I'm not picking it apart to try and figure out why that happens... but I'm not sure if I would agree with your generalization, either.

Can putting effort into and nurturing the relationship solve this boredom? Not necessarily.

[Boisdevie]

DIVORCE is the answer. If your sex life is rubbish then get divorced and find somebody else. Why did you marry her in the first place?

[sweetkissesforu]

That's great, but it doesn't contradict what I posted. Boredom is a consequence of marriage and in fact, it seems to happen quite often. I'm not picking it apart to try and figure out why that happens... but I'm not sure if I would agree with your generalization, either.

Can putting effort into and nurturing the relationship solve this boredom? Not necessarily.

You still have the option of spicing things up you dont have to get bored

[sweetkissesforu]

[url=http://www.professional-counselling.com/bored-in-relationship.html]Bored in your relationship or marriage - a warning sign?.[/url]
How about trying some of these ideas

[misombra]

so, what's new incog?

[Kaius]

Don't leave her. Don't divorce her. Just go see a "provider" once every other week and you'll be fine. I have a friend who was in a sexless marriage, which was so painful for him that he needed to escape.
He didn't want to have a divorce because his kids were little and there was so much community assets at stake, so he found a wonderful website that rates and reviews reputable prostitutes all across the country.
He ended up having sex with an amazing penthouse model every 2 weeks, and he has never been happier. His marriage is saved, and everyone is happy. Definitely consider this route!

[ashley89]

tell me you're kidding, Kaius...