do you girls really fall in love even if you have someone else?

[popoy]

Hi i'm a guy and I kind'a need to know how women think about my situation.

Okay, here's the case, I have this girl and we've known each other for years.
I kind of, courting her to be my girlfriend, but in the same setting, we're in a "mutual understanding" stage.
Basically, we like each other, without the commitment.
She even calls me happiness (in her facebook posts,lol), and i'm pretty sure she likes me a lot.
Her co-workers notice the special kind of glow she have, which again im sure, because of me. (confident huh? )

So, everything is so good between us, but she's just waiting for the right moment to make me her bf. (That's her thing.)
We're sweet and everything. I could feel that maybe she's inlove with me. Everything's fine between us.

BUT, she has this biggest crush on an officemate. and we've been honest to each other about everything. She even told me that she's really interested about her officemate and she feels butterflies in her stomach when talking to him.
Sucks for me, but it's no big deal to me. I told her to carry on. I wouldn't mind. Because that's how confident I am in what we have.
(Of course, i have a strong basis on this confidence i'm feeling. I could really tell she likes me a lot because I know her)

We've been very fine for a month or more. THEN, all of a sudden, she texted me, saying, "I'm sorry, there's something wrong with me. I'm sorry. really i'm sorry. But Ive fallen for someone else." etc.
She fell inlove with the guy! and she's asking me to meet her to explain her feelings. i didn't reply yet.
It's like yesterday, we're so into each other, then the next, she fell in love with someone else, what the F is that????

Could somebody explain this to me please? and do i have to meet her? I don't think it'll change what's happening right now.

[Take2]

Your house of cards came tumbling down because it was based on assumptions and possibilities, not reality.

No, women who are happily in love don't fall for someone else. But you guys had an ill-defined possibility of a relationship in the future. You "know" how she felt about you without talking to her about it, and clearly you were wrong. She was holding out for something better from the get-go, that is not the sign of someone who is truly in love. NOW she is truly in love, she doesn't need you for her Plan B anymore. You need to have more pride and self-confidence than that next time, don't hang around as somebody's second choice. FInd someone who will respect you more than that, respect yourself more than that.

[popoy]

I did asked her about what she's feeling about me and she tells me she's so happy with me and she knows there's a very good chance that what we have will have a happy ending.
I asked her if she loves me, she smiles with a "yes" smile. I asked a lot of things, and I got good answers, thus the confidence that we'll be a couple soon.

But Dammit! you're right Take2, I should've seen that She was holding out for something better from the get-go.
But i know her, she tends to be infatuated at a lot of times. MAYBE this is one of those times.

What can I say to her, to maybe, bring back her feelings to me?
she's asking for a meeting, will i go? what will i say?

[girl68]

She's lying and doesn't know what love is. The way I love there is no room for any other. She's also confused and wants everyone to give her everything. She wants to date the bad boy (the other crush guy) while hanging onto you behind the curtains. She will say anything to make you keep liking her and since you sound really weak in the knees for her you probably will wait for her. But she will never come. She just wants to be adored by all.

[popoy]

She's lying and doesn't know what love is. The way I love there is no room for any other. She's also confused and wants everyone to give her everything. She wants to date the bad boy (the other crush guy) while hanging onto you behind the curtains. She will say anything to make you keep liking her and since you sound really weak in the knees for her you probably will wait for her. But she will never come. She just wants to be adored by all.

You're absolutely right girl68! She tends to be that way most of the time. I just gave it a shot to court her because I like her, despite knowing her that way.
you girls sure know girls. LOL.

Anyway, is there any advice you could give to make a girl like her fall for me?
Anything that i can do? or say?
Do i have to meet her? If i do, what would i say?

[vertical_sky]

Look, I get the occasional crush even when I'm madly in my boyfriend. I think most people do.... we're monogamous, not dead. The difference is in the actions and executions. You can have a crush on someone else as long as you draw VERY solid boundaries and stay firmly committed to your relationship (no flirty communication, no one-on-one meetings, mentioning often that you have a significant other, and making sure you don't neglect the significant other for the crush.)

In your situation, it sounds like it isn't so much that she fell in love with someone else... It's that she was never committed to you from the start. You guys weren't an established item, and my guess is her feelings for you were never strong enough for her to draw those boundaries.

Next time, even if she's writing similes all over your Facebook and smiling that she loves you... Agree on a firm commitment, or walk away.

[girl68]

She doesn't like you and never will sorry bro. No advice from me.

[red_sparrow]

LOL

Sounds like someone was a little too in-love to take the 'mutual-understanding-is-only-a-nicer-word-for-fuk-buddy' cue..