Need advice to how to approach a girl for shy guys

[shyguy0806]

Need advice to how to approach a girl for shy guy.

Any suggestions? Like topics or how to approach her?

My current situation is that I'm an average college guy that has feelings towards a girl that I have no idea who she is. We are both in different majors and classes. However when I run errands for professors, I sometimes run into her when she is in class. Should I give up? Sounds like there is no hope for me.

[smackie9]

How about just saying hi?

[the_robot]

has feelings towards a girl that I have no idea who she is.

How can you develop feelings for someone you don't even know?

[vertical_sky]

How can you develop feelings for someone you don't even know?

She's hot?

[smackie9]

How can you develop feelings for someone you don't even know?

That's the shy guy syndrome, falling for someone they are not even dating. That right there is why it makes it more difficult for them to approach the girl. They put them up on a pedestal, making them out to be almost out of their reach, then it turns into fear. Has to stop doing that.

[the_robot]

She's hot?

I've seen (and see almost every day) plenty of hot girls and I don't have feelings for any of them.. being hot is not enough to develop feelings. I doubt it's even enough for anyone to get horny.

That's the shy guy syndrome, falling for someone they are not even dating.

It sounds to me like he hasn't even talked to her... It just doesn't make sense to me.

[smackie9]

I've seen (and see almost every day) plenty of hot girls and I don't have feelings for any of them.. being hot is not enough to develop feelings. I doubt it's even enough for anyone to get horny.



It sounds to me like he hasn't even talked to her... It just doesn't make sense to me.

That is what shy guys do, they are so afraid to approach they rather admire from afar.

[vertical_sky]

I've seen (and see almost every day) plenty of hot girls and I don't have feelings for any of them.. being hot is not enough to develop feelings. I doubt it's even enough for anyone to get horny.
It sounds to me like he hasn't even talked to her... It just doesn't make sense to me.

Hehe, sorry, I was trying to make a joke. Damn you lack of vocal cues in text-based communication!

My guess is he's confusing "feelings in my heart" with "feelings in my pants." And hey there's nothing wrong with approaching someone because they inspire "feelings in my pants!" That's generally how most relationships start! But OP, don't psych yourself out that your current feelings are anything more than "Hubba hubba hubba." So talk to her and see if the pants-emotions intensify or trickle off.

[shyguy0806]

Any suggestions on how to approach her?. We come out of different classes but in the same hallway but I just get a quick glance of her and then out the door. Also, usually shes surrounded by a few guys and girls.
=)

[smackie9]

Eye contact. Make eye contact with her and smile....see if she responds positively.

[shyguy0806]

What would technically be that positive response?

[weird cat]

this is coming from a guy, who was, a few years ago, exactly where you are now smackie9's description of the shy guy syndrome is unfortunately, right on the money. so my first advice is the same as hers, take that woman, or any woman for that matter, off the pedestal, you can put her back on it AFTER you have gotten to know her, and I don't mean just casually knowing her, but really knowing the exact reason why you respect her, the exact reason why you admire her, without having the shaded glasses in front of your eyes (and that won't be easy if you are already infatuated with someone). you will eventually learn, in my case the hard way, that not all women are as saintly as they appear to be, even if you have the chance to observe her in a casual setting, why, because some people, have a social appearance that is far more appealing than their true self, so putting her on a pedestal without truly knowing her, will only waste your time, your emotion, and eventually cause you heartache and distrust when your image of her shatters.

my second advice, is to grow some balls and just approach her, you will have to do this sooner or later in your life, because unless and until you do, you'll find yourself in plenty of misery. you and her already share a common space, the easiest thing you could do, is the next time you run into her without anyone else present, say hi to her and introduce yourself, tell her that since you see her on occasions, you wanted to know her name, then shake hands with her, from that point on she might ask you something about yourself, or if she doesn't, you bid her farewell and tell her you'll see her around. the next you see her, you can say hi, you can ask her how she is doing if you are so interested, and as you two get more familiar with one another you can, and will find the chance to get to know her better as a person.

if you find the previous suggestion to be awfully awkward and demanding, remember the fact that you are doing absolutely nothing wrong or inconsiderate, if she's turned off by your awkwardness then you should realize that she is no more than a shallow chick, because a well rounded and open person worthy of your time and affection, will either look at your awkwardness and understand it, or look at your awkwardness and not mind it (and I hope you have the capacity to do the same), that awkwardness, or shyness is something you can work on and improve in time as you build your own confidence and pride, but it's nothing you should be ashamed of or afraid of. my own experience, if that helps you in any way is I had this chinese girl (me being chinese myself) that I saw occasionally while attending college, the only real space we shared was actually when the school is out and everyone take the subway to get home, I really liked her, and one day I just forced myself to come up to her from behind at the train station, and introduced myself like I suggested, we exchanged names, talked a little, and eventually became friends, didn't work out as romantic partners in the end, but at least I was given the fair chance.

hope that helped

[SelflessnHumble]

Here is your 1st assignment...Ready?

You are to approach random girls OFF campus.
You don't need to like them either...Just walk up, start talking to them.

Women love a man who is confident and assertive: not shy and introverted...In fact: women hate this!
Some women think it's *cute* to see socially awkward people fail but in reality it's a huge turn off. So get some practice...

Then when you're finally ready (and have been rejected a few times) you are ready to talk to her.
Before you talk to her: take notice what she is doing relative to what her professor is teaching....(this will come in use later)

AFTER her class is over...strike up a conversation (say something funny about her professor) like, "wow, he's so serious I wonder where his statue is going to go?"
Make her laugh, use what he was teaching, and how she was looking (facial expressions, studying habits) as well as her attire (her jewelery)

Your goal is to be attentive, funny and take notice to things other people and passer by's take for granted...
Always SMILE, be confident and out going...It's a slam dunk.

There is only no hope: if you SAY there is. Don't be a putz, dude.
Be the change you want to see in the world. Some old guy said that, right?

[smackie9]

I know shy guys avoid the straight forward approach and hope that someone out there would have some different advice or method....but the truth is there isn't any other way but what the other posters have said. If the girl finds you attractive she will look past your nervousness. There are girls out there that do get flattered by a straight forward approach. Every guy has his rejections, you are not alone on that. You just have to keep trying.

[shyguy0806]

Really honestly?
Can we start with something small first cuz I do feel awkward already just talking to strangers. Does anybody have any examples of how they did it when they were in my situation?

This sounds true, but it seems like I would have to stalk her to get that type of information right?