GF doesn't like texting me in between meetings & no response - hates waiting

[johnmajor]

Ok so it all started last thursday morning. We've been going out for 3 1/2 months love at first sight :3 (both 19) The text i got was bit emotionless than usual, and the two days up to that her response times were really slow like 10+hours. So i replied the thurs one in evening. No reply, waited til Friday evening asked if she was ok. No reply. I can't tell you how frustrated i was and i didn't sleep cuz i was worried about her 'condition'. So I phoned her on Sat night and left voicemail. She got txtd to me, in sort of 'forced' tone how r you? and saying that she is fine. She also said that she doesn't like valentine's day and won't be celebrating it cuz she has no money, but she still wants to see me on monday. She didn't really apologize for her lateness and i told her how i was worried about her.

Later on this text is confuses me - She said she didn't reply because she hated waiting in between times to see me in person and that it was pointless for her to wait by the phone for my response. (Over this and last week ive seen her once and she stayed over each time cuz i told her i was busy and workin in weekends. Seen her last sunday night til monday evening) She said that she was in the bad mood zone in the last two days and admitted being selfish. The texts we send up til thurs are just ordinary saying how things goes and fun teasing, and expressing how much we miss each other.

Background info: She sufffered/(still i reckon) from depression and once in a while there are these nihilistic social withdrawal phases she says, ive only seen it once. Has had history of cutting her self and having suicidal thoughts as a teen. She does have some trust issues as her heart was broken, and that im her first 'true' love. Also recently her cousin has been texting her detailing his attempted suicide so i dunno if something has happened that may have triggered?

So i just in complete uncertainty whether it was just a mood thing/geniune dislike of waiting/or an incident has triggered something. She says she is fine and no worries. I am very insecure if she is going to breakup with me because she is my first also and i care for her so much that i thought the she stopped talking me because of something i may have done badly or not, or she stopped loving me. And the fact that she expressed her dislike of waiting and texting in between is not a good signal for me, cuz she has never complained - but she has complained about my slow response (1-3hrs sometimes) Im also afraid that if things were fine with me and her, but my insecurity and concern for her was shown that she will find me less attractive - being needy.

Im dreading to see what will happen tomorrow/today: Valentine's day, or how i should act or behave towards her. In some ways i am a bit angry that she did to me, but i keep in mind that it could be a phase thing. Ive got a dinner prepared for her tonight and i don't want to be eating alone if it does i know i will personally take all the blame for the cause of the breakup.

Anybody been in a similar situation or can give advice how i should deal with this matter? Any suggestions would be considered, and quick responses are much appreciated! This matter is just blowing in my mind and been making up all sorts in my head which is driving me nuts.

[Darkest Heaven]

She's not all emotionally there, first of all.
Second of all what now? She doesn't text you because she doesn't like waiting for you to reply? Am I understanding this right? I'll have more to say when I am sure I understand the situation.

[johnmajor]

^hi. could you clarify what you mean by not there?
2nd Yeh that is the point of that text on saturday.

she texted me few hours ago actually : <3 :* out of the blue so i responded before i went to bed at 1:30. so did she. and saying how she is excited seeing me today. but then she said she was out drinking on sunday night? seems unusual for her if shes in a bad phase rut on the saturday :/ plus she said she had no money to go out for val day (obv id pay) but here she's money out drinkking!? she's more honest and affectionate when she is drunk and it doesn't fill me with confidence that she txtd out of conscious "geniune" care.

[vashti]

She sounds like a piece of work. Why don't you get rid of her and find someone more emotionally stable?

[johnmajor]

^but that's the thing i would probably hurt her emotionally even more if i did! and i would hate to cause her pain that she would suffer for prolonged time as she has done and still is. I still 100% care for her. (i suppose it is my first relationship being slightly more irrational perhaps and i never ever naively expected such 'drama')

[vashti]

This is the thing you need to know about relationships: yes, you should try to avoid hurting people. However, it is stupid to stick with a bad/unhealthy relationship because you don't want to hurt anyone. You only get to live your life once, so you'd better learn to prioritize.

Besides, i would rather know a guy broke up with me because he didn't think we were a match than to have him stay with me because he felt sorry for me.

[johnmajor]

^thank you. that is a great enlightening piece of advice/perspective that i would never have thought... but the rather care for and not matching part, well she has a negative mindset and imagine the worst scenario she would choose :/