Have you ever been stalked?

[Charisma]

Vincenzo Wrote:
Merry, I have a great deal of respect for your very sensible advice, but you are out of your depth here. Have you ever been stalked? As I explained, this idiot lied to me about things that I said with my own mouth. I know what I said, and I know that he's lying. I find it amazing that people here are so ignorant about domestic abuse, though I admit that I too was ignorant about such things until recently. There is a guy who knows where I live, and now he has sent me a threat by text. These are facts, and if you are so biased that you can't process facts, then you are not helpful in this matter.

The issue here is: You are not doing this (pursuing an abused woman who loves the abuse) for HER: you are doing it because the guy (who in your mind crossed the line with you)
is the problem here when in reality: YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! See that?

She doesn't want you anymore than she doesn't want him: evident by her actions and her continued hold she still has over you (and continues to exploit)
The facts: are the most ironic point to bring up since I've been telling you of the real facts posts and pages ago...

Fact: Stop being nosy concerning a woman who NEVER respected/loved you period.
Fact: SHE has chosen to stay with this man: HER choice: accept it: and move on. Can't?

You have the problem here, not "Craig." Why?
He hasn't a motive to talk to you/stalk you because: (he's already won the prize: the egocentricity of knowing HE has Amy-under his thumb and in her grasp)
Why then does he text you? YOU won't leave his woman alone!!!! That's why! I'd be texting you the same shit if you couldn't stop talking to my woman (regardless if she talks to you first)

Reading these posts is like watching a Quenten Tarantino movie, dude. Can't you see that?
MerryH does and all without having the requisite of being stalked...

The fact: You come out the loser in all of this. Now, and down the line...just wait and see -sadly you will.

I disagree with most of this.

She has shared her (real or made up) situation with Vincenzo when she could have just walked away and mended things for good with Craig. She hasn't.
He hasn't taken her back as a gf/lover/fiance/whatever, but offered support and help if she chooses to leave the so called abusive and controlling relationship she is in with Craig. Kudos to him for being such a supportive guy, but for some messed up reason Craig will forever distrust Amy, and also Vincenzo for turning out to be someone Amy was involved in while being with him.

I agree that she hasn't ever respected Vincenzo tho, which is a shame because Craig sounds like the a-hole. Who the hell sits texting some guy to intimidate him when it's his frigging birthday?!?! Or does hang up calls at the guy's work?!?! immature much??

Vincenzo isn't the problem here, Amy is. Amy has caused all this, and to be as frank as possible, there was never gonna be a great ending trying to lead 2 guys into being her fiance at the same time. You didn't nag Amy to come to the concert- fact. Amy decided to stay with Craig for his birthday- fact. So where the hell did Craig get this whole *stop stalking Amy* crap from, if Amy hasn't at the very least confirmed part of it?!?!?!

Craig has more motive to talk to vincenzo and stalk him even more now. He came to his doorstep and found out that Amy had another guy as a fiance too. He knows of your existence, and he'd rather have a lying cheating bitch as a gf than to have her choose you instead. Phone cloning isn't even needed for half of this stuff, only enough pressure for Amy to make up another lie. How easy it would have been for her to confess to you about Craig some time sooner, but no, and now that you both will be accusing each other, she's creating enough hate and dislike that neither of you will do the simple thing and confirm each other's stories. That's exactly what she wants. Hell, she'll have her freedom to sneak around back, because the status quo is back- more or less. She isn't getting any blame for being with the other person, or even from messing with anyone else on the side. Except from Craig, because he'll be thinking she's cheating, because he's actually stayed in the ****ed up relationship he think even existed. A little Jerry-Springer voice inside my head almost wishes that she got pregnant, to see how that bomb of a mess had turned out.

Fact is, Vincenzo has got his smart cap on. Amy's sob story would usually have made men rush in to take her back, feel sorry for her, and beat up the other guy. This is what Craig is threatening to do. She tried to have both of yous back with her, most likely so she can have both sugar daddies giving her money. Luckily it's only been Craig that's been foolish enough to do this, and now you have to get as far from this mess as possible. Unfortunately, it looks like breaking contact permanently from Amy is the only way, because as soon as you mention no contact then Craig got revved up for battle. Amy can't be the innocent in this, because if you haven't been talking to Craig for over a month, then where the hell does he get his info from???

Don't even try to confirm it all with Amy. It's a waste of your time and energy. She knows how to leave, so leave her to it. You're better than that.

[VincenzoG91]

Thank you, Charisma. I feel that I have done as much as possible in this situation, more than any normal person would have bothered, but I realize that any further effort will be useless if Amy isn't ready to leave him. You mentioning pregnancy raised a random and disturbing idea in my mind. If she ever gets pregnant, Craig is going to be freaking out wondering if it's his or not. Anyway, just a random thought, and I need to stop thinking about their dysfunctional relationship.

I would love to move on right now, but there is still the stalking issue. When I approached my car this morning, I saw that the driver's door was partway open. I always slam the door shut soundly and lock it with my remote, so I know that I didn't leave that car door open. Nothing inside looked out of place, and I don't keep anything valuable in my car anyway. By the way, when Amy and I picked out this apartment four years ago, I checked out the safety of the neighborhood at the Saint Paul crime map website. There is an average of just one car break-in per year in that area. And no, Amy doesn't have spare keys to my car, and I have never loaned it to her.

[VincenzoG91]

I rent an apartment that is above a business, and the adjacent building has another business above three separate heated garages. There weren't any vacant garages when I first moved in, but last fall, my landlord mentioned that he finally had one available. I passed at that time, not wanting to waste the $50 a month. Now that my situation has changed, I just notified him that I want the garage. He said it will be be available to me starting March 1.

[VincenzoG91]

Selfless... are there two people posting under your account name? Your opinions seem to flip-flop dramatically from post to post.

[misombra]

you're only listening to people who tell you what you want to hear.

but anyway i was stalked once by a guy who did not know when to stop. he called and called and called and had his friends call me omg. i had to spend some time at my dads house so he wouldn't find me. i ignored him and he eventually went away.

[sweetkissesforu]

A.)My conclusion Vin has an obsession over Amy
this case scenerios are in his head
he has the need to be a hero we can only hope
that Amy and Craig are not dubing Vin together


B.)Or maybe she is the player who plays you
pits you two against each other
because she get attention from you both

i would let go if Amy has her bags in her hand then help her other then that Vin NC rule

[VincenzoG91]

you're only listening to people who tell you what you want to hear.

but anyway i was stalked once by a guy who did not know when to stop. he called and called and called and had his friends call me omg. i had to spend some time at my dads house so he wouldn't find me. i ignored him and he eventually went away.

I'm listening to everybody, but I can't agree with each and every opinion because of the variety and differences in opinion.

Sorry to hear about your stalker. I hear that ignoring the stalker can eventually work, but it's a slow process. Did you ever consider getting a restraining order?

[SelflessnHumble]

I disagree with most of this.

She has shared her (real or made up) situation with Vincenzo when she could have just walked away and mended things for good with Craig. She hasn't.
He hasn't taken her back as a gf/lover/fiance/whatever, but offered support and help if she chooses to leave the so called abusive and controlling relationship she is in with Craig. Kudos to him for being such a supportive guy, but for some messed up reason Craig will forever distrust Amy, and also Vincenzo for turning out to be someone Amy was involved in while being with him.

I agree that she hasn't ever respected Vincenzo tho, which is a shame because Craig sounds like the a-hole. Who the hell sits texting some guy to intimidate him when it's his frigging birthday?!?! Or does hang up calls at the guy's work?!?! immature much??

Vincenzo isn't the problem here, Amy is. Amy has caused all this, and to be as frank as possible, there was never gonna be a great ending trying to lead 2 guys into being her fiance at the same time. You didn't nag Amy to come to the concert- fact. Amy decided to stay with Craig for his birthday- fact. So where the hell did Craig get this whole *stop stalking Amy* crap from, if Amy hasn't at the very least confirmed part of it?!?!?!

Craig has more motive to talk to vincenzo and stalk him even more now. He came to his doorstep and found out that Amy had another guy as a fiance too. He knows of your existence, and he'd rather have a lying cheating bitch as a gf than to have her choose you instead. Phone cloning isn't even needed for half of this stuff, only enough pressure for Amy to make up another lie. How easy it would have been for her to confess to you about Craig some time sooner, but no, and now that you both will be accusing each other, she's creating enough hate and dislike that neither of you will do the simple thing and confirm each other's stories. That's exactly what she wants. Hell, she'll have her freedom to sneak around back, because the status quo is back- more or less. She isn't getting any blame for being with the other person, or even from messing with anyone else on the side. Except from Craig, because he'll be thinking she's cheating, because he's actually stayed in the ****ed up relationship he think even existed. A little Jerry-Springer voice inside my head almost wishes that she got pregnant, to see how that bomb of a mess had turned out.

Fact is, Vincenzo has got his smart cap on. Amy's sob story would usually have made men rush in to take her back, feel sorry for her, and beat up the other guy. This is what Craig is threatening to do. She tried to have both of yous back with her, most likely so she can have both sugar daddies giving her money. Luckily it's only been Craig that's been foolish enough to do this, and now you have to get as far from this mess as possible. Unfortunately, it looks like breaking contact permanently from Amy is the only way, because as soon as you mention no contact then Craig got revved up for battle. Amy can't be the innocent in this, because if you haven't been talking to Craig for over a month, then where the hell does he get his info from???

Don't even try to confirm it all with Amy. It's a waste of your time and energy. She knows how to leave, so leave her to it. You're better than that.

That's fine.
But this is how he (Craig) likely sees things and since Amy is staying with Craig: what does this say about her intent?
Who said Amy was innocent? She bullshitted 2 grown men for over half a decade! Of course she's lied to both of them but the fact is:

Since Vincenzo seems to be pretty sharp: he knows what he must do: but his ego gets in the way.
Are you trying to reason with a potential socio/psycopath? (in Craig) Are you actually going there...trying to make sense of someone's motives??? Based on the fact:
she could have just walked away, really? How naive is that?

You don't see it do you? He invited Mr Craig into his life when he chose to assist Amy (when in fact she needs no such thing)
So he can't really complain about what Craig chooses to do (like stalk/text him) because he willingly asked for it via his actions.

No matter the case of how Craig knows shit: he does. And no matter how you slice it: Vicenzo has no place interfering with another couple's relationship.
Especially when:

His help is crapped on.
And his advice is in one ear + out the other in a nano-second.

He has ALREADY told her what she must do.
Now he wants to babysit her and then question the veracity of HER live in lover/boyfriend? K.

[misombra]

I'm listening to everybody, but I can't agree with each and every opinion because of the variety and differences in opinion.

Sorry to hear about your stalker. I hear that ignoring the stalker can eventually work, but it's a slow process. Did you ever consider getting a restraining order?

i did not think about getting a restraining order. i was hesitant to get the law involved as i didn't want any more trouble. i was afraid my dad would find out. i didn't tell him i was avoiding this person. he would've probably tried to do something.

it doesn't sound like this guy is stalking you. it sounds like amy is telling him that you're stalking her and harassing her, no?

[VincenzoG91]

it doesn't sound like this guy is stalking you. it sounds like amy is telling him that you're stalking her and harassing her, no?

And my open car door? It was locked last night and open this morning.

[misombra]

did you see him do it or did he say he did it?

[VincenzoG91]

No. Perhaps everybody is a suspect. Do you have an alibi for last night, Misombra?

[misombra]

hell i have an expert witness.

well with your evidence (or lack thereof) there is no way you would be able to get a restraining order.

[VincenzoG91]

well with your evidence (or lack thereof) there is no way you would be able to get a restraining order.

I agree. But if things continue to escalate, I'm going to start keeping records, in case I need to make a case for one later.

[SelflessnHumble]

I agree. But if things continue to escalate, I'm going to start keeping records, in case I need to make a case for one later.

Taking a picture of an open door + your hearsay verbally accusing Craig will not suffice as record even if you had it notarised.
But of course the culmination of events play a role in how it plays out.

Btw...you've been thanked 666 times as of this moment!!!