Have you ever been stalked?

[VincenzoG91]

Taking a picture of an open door + your hearsay verbally accusing Craig will not suffice as record even if you had it notarised.
But of course the culmination of events play a role in how it plays out.

Btw...you've been thanked 666 times as of this moment!!!

I wish I knew which post got the 666th thanks.

Amy's cousin/best friend has taken over the rescue effort. She's a journalist and community activist, so Craig would be an idiot to harass her. I wish her the best of luck.

[80r]

Sounds to me that both Amy and Craig are nuts. They're perfect for each other.

[VincenzoG91]

Sounds to me that both Amy and Craig are nuts. They're perfect for each other.

When I asked Julia to look into the situation, I told her that the situation seems to be escalating. If Amy is really being abused, I want Julia to get Amy's family and friends involved. If Amy isn't being abused, then I will bow out and Amy and Craig can struggle through their dysfunctional relationship without me. I expect that Julia will let me know which way things are going, because she understands that things are going to get bad if there isn't a clear resolution soon.

[VincenzoG91]

No word from Julia yet.

Received a disturbing text from Amy two hours ago, despite me warning her not to call or text me with her cell phone:

"Craig is gonna make me text you while he watches - please don't respond."

Nothing since then. If he does have her phone cloned, then he knows that she warned me and he is going to be upset with her. I expect that I will get the text anyway, because this guy is probably already obsessed with the idea. Maybe he isn't home from work yet, so I will get this text later tonight. I'm sure it will be a message that I need to stop harassing her. This guy is sick.

I realize that some of you still think that Amy is doing all this to create drama. Again, why? It doesn't get her anything, especially in this situation where she is telling me to not respond to the upcoming phony message.

[qwertz]

This is too far fetched to be real. I dont know what her motives are for this, but she obviously enjoys the drama. Its ridiculous now.

[VincenzoG91]

This is too far fetched to be real. I dont know what her motives are for this, but she obviously enjoys the drama. Its ridiculous now.

The threats last week came from him. I guess you skimmed past that part.

[vertical_sky]

The threats last week came from him. I guess you skimmed past that part.

Um I think the poster meant the whole "He's going to force me to text you while he watches" seems far-fetched.

And it really, really does.

[VincenzoG91]

Yeah, and somebody broke into my car last week, in a very safe neighborhood. Far-fetched? Have you ever been stallked?

[VincenzoG91]

Folks, believe it or not, people get stalked and jealous psychos have been known to attack or even kill people. I'm sorry if I'm disturbing your placid, suburban existences, but I'm being harassed, and these elaborate excuses in support of this guy are getting ridiculous. Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation is that this guy is an abusive jerk and he is harassing me. Has my ex treated me badly with all of her lies and betrayal? Yes. Does her bad behavior explain the current harassment? No, because she could have continued the status quo and received financial support from me for who knows how long.

[VincenzoG91]

Facts from the U.S. Department of Justice, for any of you interested in facts:

[url]http://www.ncvc.org/src/agp.net/components/documentviewer/download.aspxnz?DocumentID=45862[/url]

[Take2]

Actually. Occams Razor would point to Amy lying. The simplest explanation is that you slammed your car door too hard and it didn't latch. But you are a bit paranoid right now because of all this stuff going on. That Amy is making most of this up and is playing the two guys against each other for her own amusement. That there is no abuse, and he is probably hearing stuff just as bad about you. And his threats and behavior are a direct result of her riling him up with stories about you.

Now, the reality could be more complex. Occam's Razor doesn't always determine the truth, sometimes life is weird like that. It is possible that Amy really is in the trouble she describes, in spite of the fact that she is known to be a liar who makes up drama and stirs the pot and in spite of the fact that her actions as you report them don't match to her situation as you report it.

And once again, I don't think anyone here has said or implied that abuse doesn't happen. It probably happens more in quiet suburban neighborhoods than some other places. But the stories you are telling don't add up. It's not that we can't fathom abuse, it's that the stories set off everyone's BS-o-meters. And really, when a group of people who disagree about almost everything and haven't even ever met ALL feel the story is fishy, that's saying something.

[SelflessnHumble]

Occam's Razor doesn't apply to people dude.

(1) This guy (in your eyes) is an abusive jerk (NOT IN HERS) CHECK.
(2) She is a no good, do nothing bottle feeder (and his pockets are the bottle) CHECK.
(3) Her behavior explains: She loves abuse or she is enduring abuse due to petty financial reasons (which are superficial) given her many friends/family she can turn to but REFUSES to. CHECK.

Whatever the case dude:

THE LAW FORBIDS ABUSE.
SHE refuses to do something about it? Why? It does not matter. Why?
Her actions tell us everything no matter what she is uh, *thinking* because we all know that actions supercede mere words backed by bullshit.

No one is telling you what to do, most of all me. Far from it.
Since I've dealt with this shit so many times I already know what is going to happen and guess what? I don't need to get to know Amy to know
how an animal acts (or fails to) because I've learned long ago about people.

No matter how she feels, or even tells you how she feels...
This isn't your fight, but you are making it your fight.

You dumped her? Right.
She is with him? Correct.
He is abusive? Possibly.
You: have no stake in this matter yet you want to inject yourself in the middle of THEIR relationship of which you have ZERO business doing.

What have learned?
She has been a pathological liar and you have been a 5 year old + fool.
You want so BADLY to believe she is getting abused because you want on some level to "win" because you think being there for her will stop her from lying and take you back in the end.

You are trying to apply Occam's Razor to broken, damaged and FUBAR people.

[qwertz]

The threats last week came from him. I guess you skimmed past that part.

I must have missed it...all i saw was you thinking he had been in your car and no actual threats from him.

Oh, and ive been stalked/harrassed...there was a huge long thread on here about it last year. I know how it feels, its not nice. It still doesnt change how i feel about this whole thing. She has been with him for 5 years, at the end of the day, if he was that bad then she had plenty of opportunity to leave. Things may be worse now it has all come out into the open but if he really really was as bad as she is making out then she would get out of there, full stop.

[VincenzoG91]

My ex-girlfriend called me last week to let me know that this guy has been making threats again. He is still deployed in the Mideast but wants to try to get back together with her when he returns in May. She wants to just be friends with him and he blames me for that. If she doesn't start dating him again when he gets back, he says that he is going to get revenge on me.

I'm not too worried about it. I moved last fall, and my former landlord was aware of the stalking situation, so he isn't going to give out my new address to anybody. Amy knows where I live now, but we aren't together anymore, so that shouldn't matter. The company that I work for also moved, and judging by all the forwarded mail, we didn't do a good job of communicating the new address to most people. But if he somehow shows up at my door again, he will regret it. Minnesota laws are very biased in favor of homeowners defending their homes.

It's possible that she is just trying to get my attention, but I doubt it. This isn't the kind of thing that she would lie about. Besides, it just disgusts me that she is even talking to the guy who abused her for years. She must have really low self-esteem if she thinks this guy can ever be her friend.

[prettygirl]

No I haven't been stalked......