Uni teacher asks for date

[val]

It happened to me being short time on Uni, What to answer?
Main point is, that i dont love him or something, but this is not purpose of date, right? Maybe i could love him when i will know him better.
But if, he wouldnt be my teacher i would say no immediately. So a bit confused :-/
Valerie

[sfalexi]

[quote]But if, he wouldnt be my teacher i would say no immediately.[/quote[Then say no right now.

Most of the time it's against the rules for teachers to ask out students. ESPECIALLY if they're CURRENTLY your teacher. My guess is that this guy thinks you'll say yes BECAUSE he's your teacher and is hoping that he'll get some action out of you.

Teachers asking students out in my book is considered one of the most scumbag things to do.

Rod Steele

[T-R3x Vision]

[QUOTE=sfalexi]

But if, he wouldnt be my teacher i would say no immediately.[/quote[Then say no right now.

Most of the time it's against the rules for teachers to ask out students. ESPECIALLY if they're CURRENTLY your teacher. My guess is that this guy thinks you'll say yes BECAUSE he's your teacher and is hoping that he'll get some action out of you.

Teachers asking students out in my book is considered one of the most scumbag things to do.

Rod Steele

Besides it violates every code of conduct in the university handbook, its unethical, unprofessional, reflects negatively on the teacher, and I would hope there is some law against it, and the guy should be fired just for asking.

[sfalexi]

T-R3,

There isn't a law against it because the student and teacher ARE both adults.

But universities often understand that this is wrong and MOST universities will fire someone if they find out a student/teacher relatoinship is going on (regardless of whether they have tenure or not, it's often in the contract). AFTER the student has graduated, they can't do anything because it's no longer a conflict of interest. But while the student is attending (whether it be in the teacher's class or not) it is USUALLY considered unethical enough to get fired over.

Very similar things go on in the real world with other jobs for the same reason. In the military an officer cannot date an enlisted person, often times in businesses a supervisor cannot date someone directly below them, etc. etc.

[DownWithLove]

Yeah, that is a scumbag thing for him to do. If you get proof, hold it over his head for a free A+ grade. That will teach him. Or, report it. I had a teacher make a pass at me when I was doing a make-up on a test. I felt like if I said no it could jeopardize my grade AND I didn't want to say yes. I was young and dumb at the time. I just stopped going to class after that, failed it, then re-took it. At the very least, report it. It is verrry wrong for him to put you in that situation. That is why Universities have strict rules against it. Even if you have been flirting, he knows that this is wrong. Again, he knows this is wrong. Don't let him do it.

[DownWithLove]

By the way... don't fantasize about this. He is probably just looking for sex. It's a nice fantasy to think that he sees you as the most wonderful person he has ever met, but it is not real. What do the two of you have in common? What would the relationship be based on? In this case, it isn't appropriate to "date" to get to know each other and find out. He obviously has issues if he is willing to jeopardize his career for a date. There is big trouble there. Stay away from it.

[val]

Thank to you all for nice and reasonable posts. He is sweet and smart, but not my type (still somehow hoping for love on first sight). He just asked for date, nothing like that i can get worse grade or so and i am already one of best students in his branch (without need to help from him).
All what we said to me is:
"Hi Val, please just look away from me being your teacher, would you like to come with me to one very nice pizzeria downtown?"

I answered, that i am pleased but i dont know and i will let him know next time i will see him. What will most probably be on tuesday.

[SuperTech]

Hmm, when I was in this math class a TA asked out of my firends (a girl). She was like "yuck", I would never date him. It was really funny, because he was kind of an airhead and everytime I imagine how it went down I laugh a little bit.

[some1there]

It happened to me being short time on Uni, What to answer?
Main point is, that i dont love him or something, but this is not purpose of date, right? Maybe i could love him when i will know him better.
But if, he wouldnt be my teacher i would say no immediately. So a bit confused :-/
Valerie

You don't actually mention how old this person is? Is he your lecturer or supplementary teacher (for seminars, tutorials or workshops). It is not unusual for supplementary teaching staff to be students themselves! Just simply a little older or those on postgraduate courses...

[val]

You don't actually mention how old this person is? Is he your lecturer or supplementary teacher (for seminars, tutorials or workshops). It is not unusual for supplementary teaching staff to be students themselves! Just simply a little older or those on postgraduate courses...

He is 34, and he is normal teacher, no supplement or such a stuff.