Confused: Probelms with Wife/ Worried about daughter and Wife / Ex

[Audacious]

I am married for last 3 years and have a daughter from this marriage. Me and my wife always get into big arguments and often threaten divorce. I somehow manage to handle situation but its very temporary. Recently my ex-gf (we dated for 3 yrs before my marriage and broke up because of our parents) came in touch with me and said she wants to comeback. I do love her a lot and so does she. I believe we can be happy together. I am worried about my wife's future and my daughter's future.

So if I decide to stay with my wife and daughter there will be these arguments and fights which we have had in past. What do you think is best option for my kid: Fighting parents or divorced parents or new mom and loving father. One thing I want you to notice is me and my ex can live happily together and take care of my daughter. So in summary I have three options:
1. Try to go back and resolve issues with my wife honestly.
2. Divorce my wife and marry ex and take care of kid
3. Give up both wife and ex. And lead single life and visit kid and daughter every now and then.

I am not sure what to do. Can you please help.
I really appreciate your inputs.

[vashti]

Broken households are never good for kids, and quite honestly, your own level of happiness takes a back seat to whatever is good for your daughter.

There is another option for you: stay with your wife, and stop fighting and threatening divorce. THAT is the best option for your kid.

[Audacious]

Yep, I agree but the problem is whether my kid will be OK to grow up with parents having differences?

[vashti]

All parents have differences. The thing you should be worried about teaching her is how to handle differences like adults.

[Audacious]

That is very obvious but what extent. At no point I am trying to be selfish here it is just too many argument and differences can lead to difficult upbringing for my kid that is my concern. Well I haven't given up with my wife we will try our best. Reason I am doing these forums postings is to find out is it worth a try. And why my ex is in picture is she might be a better mom than my wife. That is why it is confusing me.
I have no problem spending my life single and take care of people who have bigger problems in their life , I mean devote myself for social work in third world country.

[hotspurfan]

iugilugtiugtpiuytiutui

[JadenMia]

Do you love your wife? Enough to try and fix things? You need to WANT to keep this going with her, Just trying to hold onto your marriage just for the sake of your daughter isnt going to better for either of you.
You need to sit down and think things through.. Because you just said you loved your ex.. which makes me wonder if you really do want this to work with your wife.. and the fact that you have actually thought about leaving her for another woman after something as simple as your ex asking for you back is a big problem.
Also, was it as simple as your ex messaging you asking for another chance? Or have you had an emotional affair with your ex? Which i bet your wife doesnt know about either.

After thinking about what you really want, act upon it in the right way.
If you want to make things work in your marriage, cut all contact with your ex, Sit down discuss, and suggest marriage counselling to really try to get to the bottom of your problems.
If you feel that you want out of the marriage, keep it short and sweet (if thats possible).. Break it off, have an explanation and move on with the BEST interests for your child.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Have the problems that caused you and your ex gf to split been solved or worked out? If so, and you think you'd be able to provide a better example with her, I say you divorce your wife. You're clearly not happy with her judging by your behavior already, so I think you should probably leave her whether you go with your ex or not.

[HeartIsAching]

Broken households are never good for kids, and quite honestly, your own level of happiness takes a back seat to whatever is good for your daughter.

There is another option for you: stay with your wife, and stop fighting and threatening divorce. THAT is the best option for your kid.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. It's far better to come from a broken home than to live in one. It's a mistake I made with my second son. His mother and I were pretty much over before he was born, but we tried for six friggin' years to live together... and basically what he learned is that men and women fight all the time, don't speak to each other except to conduct business, and show no love for each other at all.

Poor kid, I hope that being with my wife and I on the weekends I get him will show him what it's supposed to be like between men and women.

[vashti]

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. It's far better to come from a broken home than to live in one. It's a mistake I made with my second son. His mother and I were pretty much over before he was born, but we tried for six friggin' years to live together... and basically what he learned is that men and women fight all the time, don't speak to each other except to conduct business, and show no love for each other at all.

Pity you chose to demonstrate that behavior...

[HeartIsAching]

Pity you chose to demonstrate that behavior...

Who said it was me? Gotta be my fault, right? Because I'm the male, right?

Alright, some of it was me. Some of it was his "mother". I'm not going to get into the details, nor am I going to try and justify anything - I owe nothing to you. Shit happens, it ain't always pretty.

[vashti]

Who said it was me? Gotta be my fault, right? Because I'm the male, right?

No, but common sense tells you it takes two to argue, therefore you could have chosen not to.