is this a double standard?

[salena]

i just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he told me that he's going to the bar with his friend. we've dated for 6 months now and during this whole time, he's never gone to the bar but the one night i'm back at my parent's house about 2 hours away, he wants to go out. he's told me before that his gotten kicked out of bars and gotten in fights at the bars.

i told him if he went to the bar, then i was going to go to the club next weekend with my girlfriends and he said it wasn't the same thing because he's a guy and i'm a girl and the places i would go would be dirty clubs where guys only wanna hook up.

is it a double standard that he thinks his allowed to go out to a bar with his friends but i can't ever go out with my friends?

[Regnent]

Yup, double standard.
Actually, double standard is the nice end of it.
Controlling and distrusting are more on the realistic end of it. In my opinion anyways.

Though, countering his going out with going out clubbing with the girls is a little too much like a threat or aggression on your part.
I would have said, ok, have fun. Come a couple days, or a week, or whenever, tell him your going out with the girls. Might have gotten a different response.

People, men and women, tend to get far more... unreasonable when they feel their activities, thoughts, or feelings are being countered. (Attacked)
It's not always a horribly reasonable response, but it's often an emotional reaction.

Before getting stuck on double standards or control issues, or whatnot, maybe talk to him about it. It -might- have just been a irrational swing at a perceived disapproval from you. You'll only find out by talking to him about it.
If he continues to feel that he's allowed to go out, and you can't, then you can be more sure that he's just being an asshole.

[milocher]

To add to first reply by Regnent. Seems like a bit of insecurity on his part as well. He shouldn't have anything to worry about.

[reeba]

no double standard, it sounds more like a personal fight. and now you are fishing for ammo to use against him by trying to get us to agree with you.

you got pissy because he is going out and you don't approve. so after voicing your opinion that you didn't want him to go out and why, he still was going to go out. then you retaliated saying then you were going out too. and he retaliated saying he disaproved and why.

grow up.

[xxazurexx]

^I agree.

'if you go out, then I will too', is an immature and pathetic way to handle things.

What the heck is wrong with him having a night out with the guys anyway? It's not like he does it all the time and it sounds a 'one off' thing.

[BusyBee]

I would say it's double standard but you have provoked it a bit. As the others said, people and espacially men tend to react to a lot of to what they see as agression. Saying that wouldn't accept the fact that he is allowed to go out but you're not.

[hotspurfan]

your boyfriend is a tool. enjoy a long life of being his cum dumpster while he cheats on you allllll the time. you'll probably have a bunch of kids and he wont be around or pay child support. you have little to no self esteem or you would have seen threw this idiots bullshit. Don't walk....run away from this guy. If you have a good daddy, than that should be your example. if the man you're with doesn't measure up to the standards that your father has set than he should be someone elses problem.