She usually dates bad boys

[ambaint]

I haven't been on one of these forums since I was a teenager, so be it as it may, I'd love for some experienced advice.
My newest date usually dates "bad boys" and says she's tired of it.
We've been on two dates and well I'm a nice guy, bend over backwards hopeless romantic. I message once a day and wish all to be well and rarely get short messages back. The first little while we messaged back and forth quite a bit and now I feel like I might be trying too hard.
Now being that I've always been the nice guy, (although a "bad boy" in the bedroom) that will never change but being that you've gone after the "bad boys" before, am I going after the wrong thing? Am I trying too hard? Or am I just over thinking the whole thing?

[nymphomaniac]

I usually go for bad boys too because they tend to keep me on my toes and because perhaps I'm a bit of a bad girl myself. The danger for me in dating a nice guy is getting extremely bored. If everything is roses and teddy bears, there is no good amount of conflict to keep it interesting.
The only other type of nice guy I know I would not get bored with is the unpredictable hedonist. The type of guy who likes to spoil and be spoilt and will show up unexpected with tickets to that favorite thing you wanted.

[ambaint]

I guess since it's only been two dates, should I be concerned that I'm trying to be too nice? Do I wait for her to contact me? or do I just call her up on Saturday again and suggest we go out for dinner? I don't want to come off clingy and I don't want to be ignorant.
We have a ton of chemistry, like fireworks...
Thanks

[xxazurexx]

You are over thinking things...

Just continue to be yourself, minus being 'over eager to please' so much so that you end up appearing a 'doormat'.

Nobody wants a pushover...

A text asking if she'd like to go out Saturday isn't clingy....it's called showing an interest.

I see no signs that you are being clingy or needy. A text a day is good.

We have a ton of chemistry, like fireworks..

Then she will want you to show an interest and if she's feeling it for you, the same way you feel for her.

[ambaint]

thank you very much

[SelflessnHumble]

No one can answer this shit except for her.
She says she used to like bad boyz...now she doesn't?

I find this isn't the case with the kind of women I've dated who needed a man to
control them, tell them what to do...

Being nice is well, nice. But don't set yourself up for relationship failure.
Being assertive while being nice can coexist.

[red_sparrow]

i love how the nice guys always keep making excuses for themselves.

'I'm a nice guy but..' [pick one]

1. I'm assertive
2. I'm still good in bed
3. I can still make decisions
et - ****ing cetera.

[IncognitoSir]

She's basically trying you out, like a new car model. I'd tread carefully, the girls that go after bad boys are the type to break your heart in the blink of an eye..........from my experience any way.

[ambaint]

That kinda sums up what I've been trying to figure out, she's interested, we have a great time, but then I barely hear from her. Maybe's she's busy, maybe's she's seeing somebody else too, but I'm not used to somebody who is interested seems distant until the weekend when we can hang out.
I'll tred carefully and enjoy it for what it is.

[ktm390]

She's basically trying you out, like a new car model. I'd tread carefully, the girls that go after bad boys are the type to break your heart in the blink of an eye..........from my experience any way.

oh sooooooo true!!! they even break the bad boys hearts, unless i can do it first! had it happen many times....

[Charisma]

You shouldn't have to put on an act, or over compensate to be who you think she wants you to be.

Doing too much all the time is annoying. Sometimes just being a respectable gentleman is all that's needed. A surprise gift or dinner or something not too often makes things feel special, without making it feel like you do that sort of stuff all the time and that it isn't a special occurance for you or her anymore. Still be a man, and want to hang out with guy friends doing guy stuff and being macho (ok, I'm stereotyping, but I hope you know what I mean), but still letting her know you won't be able to see her saturday, or that you reply to her texts even when you might not be bothered to- even if it's just to say you're not up for chatting much right now, but I'll have more time and energy for you tomorrow or something. Yeah, it might sound rude but she can't complain that you completely ignored her.

Sometimes guys think that girls care more about the bad boys. Often, we are just the most frustrated at them, and the gentlemen know better than to chat up girls who are taken. At those times, it's no reflection on the preference of nice guys over bad guys, and that if relationships do fail that it's more to do with the incompatibility of the 2 people rather than what type of person the guy pretended to be.

There's so many traits and interests people can have, as well as what they are going through at that particular stage of their life, that I'm baffled people attribute a failed relationship on the degree of *badness* a guy had. There's people taken who meet people they would prefer a relationship with, long distance, money troubles, family demands, lack of time available, etc... and those factors aren't even beginning to touch on a person's personality.

Just be cool with it, but be careful you don't take her for granted. Also pay attention to her feedback on things you do, or don't do.

[E.C.]

A lot of nice guys are, well, actually nice. Where many has gone wrong is they failed to stand up for themselves. As soon as you start bending backwards for women, you're done.

I class myself as a nice guy myself, however as soon as I get treated like a pushover, being taken advantage of, or treated with little to no respects. They're going to hear it alright. Funny thing is you will realise it yourself that whenever you are true to yourself and don't take crap from anyone, you can't seem to shake those girls. But whoever you care so much about and try to tread carefully, they're all so flighty and leave you behind before you know it.