have i lost him ?

[karenm]

Been going out with my fella for 7 months got a bit of a shock today got a text from him as follows " been thinking about how i feel and what i want have allsorts going on in my had had a text from the ex (they split 18 months ago) she was talking about the house but then she said out the blue that she would always care - it made me stop and think i cant do this anymore im not ready for it really sorry i need to be on my own" he rang me later after i asked him to and we talked for a while he is not getting back together with her and he says he thinks the world of me but needs to be on his own i said are we over he says he has to say yes otherwise its not fair on me i said what if you miss me he said he would contact me - i dont understand if we both think the world of each other why he cant just take things slowly with me - i asked if i can text him he says best not as it wouldnt be giving him space - i am devestated and just don't understand or know what to do, or how i will manage without him miss him already.

[SelflessnHumble]

Step 1: Stop being selfish, k?

(2) Although he took the chicken shit way out of dumping you (via a sorry ass text) at least he told you in some way: and didn't wait until you saw him necking on facebook.
(3) You made the mistake of getting with a man who was emotionally attached to his ex: Oops. 7 months is obviously not enough time for YOU to be attentive and observant. There were signs.

He doesn't think the world of you, k? You do, check. He does not of you.
He doesn't want to take it slow with you, now you are selfishly asking him for a pity relationship so that you will feel better about it? Not the right thing to do.

He doesn't want you...
He told you.

You are devastated and I understand that: but he has the right to dump you and to be with whomever makes him happy:
So what does this prove? YOU are not the one he wants to be happy with...

However when it ends (and it will end) don't be a disposable vagina and take him back only because his 1st choice dropped him.

How do you get over someone: You realize the truth: he didn't love you in the way you deserved to be loved.

[nymphomaniac]

Buy your favorite comfort food, rent your favorite movie, cry it out.

Once you feel like the mourning period is over, get back on your horse and realize that you are now free and single and have your choice of billions of men out there on this planet who are dying for a single woman like you to show them interest and a good time.

Enjoy it while it lasts, who knows you could meet someone better and the energy he'll get from you will probably draw him back to you.

Don't txt, call, email, msg. No cyber-stalking.
Instead, throw yourself into hobbies or spend time with family or friends.

[nymphomaniac]

The answer to your question:
No. He has lost you.

[karenm]

What i want to know is do i have any glimmer of hope ? he told me he thinks the world of me ..thats the bit i don't understand - i have fallen for him in a big way, i don't have family nearby and i lost my friends when my marriage split up 2 years ago i am a single mum, working part-time i just want him back, am hurting real bad this all came out the blue we were getting on so well - if he is not getting back with her either i just don't get it.

[SelflessnHumble]

There is always hope.
I hope to win the lottery today.

In your case (like mine) it's a fool's hope.

[nymphomaniac]

What i want to know is do i have any glimmer of hope ? he told me he thinks the world of me ..thats the bit i don't understand - i have fallen for him in a big way, i don't have family nearby and i lost my friends when my marriage split up 2 years ago i am a single mum, working part-time i just want him back, am hurting real bad this all came out the blue we were getting on so well - if he is not getting back with her either i just don't get it.

I have to be honest with you, when I don't want to see someone anymore I usually tell them I need space. But don't take it so badly. Take your mind off him, I know it's hard to let go but you have to to rebuild and start again. The guy isn't worth your time anymore.

You are still in mourning. You have to treat yourself to self care. Get your hair/nail done, get a massage, go have a sauna or spa.
If that's not you then take your kids out somewhere they will be excited about. It's not the end of the world. You will meet more men and chances are it won't work out again but you fall and you pick yourself up again and you keep marching on.
Life is impermanent, be thankful for everything you have so the things you don't have melt away.

[Charisma]

He sounds like an idiot. So he decides that instead of giving the relationship with you a proper try, he buggers off at the first hint of his ex wanting to get back with him!!!! Urgh likes, that's pure buggery.

If this was a girl who done the dumping, said all the nice stuff on the phone, the dumped guy would be sitting getting his face steaming drunk and saying he's no longer *nice guy* anymore, he's gonna be an a-hole cos that's all women want. Blah blah. Fact is, if he knew he still cared for his ex enough to get back with her, he shouldn't have lead you along with this relationship for 7 months. Or that's how I see it.

Anyways, I hope you see that you've done absolutely nothing wrong. You deserve a better guy, and now you're free to find someone with enough guts to not fecking dump over a text! What a pussy....

[xxazurexx]

He's ended it with you and to go off to pursue things with her once more...

She told him she still cares and gave him a 'glimmer of hope' that their relationship can be salvaged.

He obviously still has feelings for her and she means more to him than you do...else he'd have remained with you.

You can expect him to come running back and if it turns out and only if his ex doesn't want him back.

Could you live with being 'second' choice and that he only picked you because his ex didn't want him??

[SelflessnHumble]

I have to be honest with you, when I don't want to see someone anymore I usually tell them I need space. But don't take it so badly. Take your mind off him, I know it's hard to let go but you have to to rebuild and start again. The guy isn't worth your time anymore.

You are still in mourning. You have to treat yourself to self care. Get your hair/nail done, get a massage, go have a sauna or spa.
If that's not you then take your kids out somewhere they will be excited about. It's not the end of the world. You will meet more men and chances are it won't work out again but you fall and you pick yourself up again and you keep marching on.
Life is impermanent, be thankful for everything you have so the things you don't have melt away.

Why do people say, "I have to be honest with you?"
Are you usually dishonest?

[Charisma]

Why do people say, "I have to be honest with you?"
Are you usually dishonest?

I'm guilty of using the *tbh* too much!!! But I use it when I want to say something in a serious tone, rather than saying some ridiculously random post that probably won't make much sense but I'm saying it cos I'm in that crazy kind of moment. Which I do a lot.

[nymphomaniac]

Why do people say, "I have to be honest with you?"
Are you usually dishonest?

Yes. I am a compulsive liar. Actually, that's a lie. I was telling the truth before though..

[SelflessnHumble]

Yes. I am a compulsive liar. Actually, that's a lie. I was telling the truth before though..

Well, thanks for being honest.
I've noticed that when people say this; it makes what they say seem disingenuous and since I used to always
say that when I was bullshitting or lying: it makes sense to emphasize something that should already be truth: is actually a lie in disguise.