multiple girls have said im confusing

[Zanderini]

Multiple women have said im confusing and come off as kind of abrasive and rude. I feel being the shy type i dont show lots of emotion and tend to confuse people. what can i do now with the most recent girl i like that told me i confuse her and now she pretty much rarely talks to me and gives very short and kurt text responses? Any ideas on how to talk to her about this or fix w/e it is that is causing her to not be interested? by the way the other girls who have told me this dont matter

[smackie9]

Well first off congrats...you are getting their attention! Next step is to flirt and do a little teasing.....before you know it they will be all over you.

[Zanderini]

Well first off congrats...you are getting their attention! Next step is to flirt and do a little teasing.....before you know it they will be all over you.

well ya i got her attention but not good attention anymore as she seems halfway not interested. any ideas on how to rekindle interest?

[MerryH]

Do you know what it is you do that is abrasive and rude?

If you know exactly what she's talking about and are willing to not be that way any more, you could apologize for offending her and tell her you understand why she reacted that way and that you'll make it up to her by taking her to a nice dinner so you can show her what a perfect gentleman you can be or some other cutesy nonsense.

[Zanderini]

i mean its my shyness that kinda comes off as being rude. Ive gone on a date before and this happened about a month ago and we havent been out since.She is now very kurt and short and usually has excused when i ask to hang out. but she did say ya defenietly when i said we need to hang out soon. I havent talked to her in 2 weeks and i honestly have no idea what to text her or ask her out again or what and i feel a month after is too late to apologize for it epeically hwnei already have.

[smackie9]

well ya i got her attention but not good attention anymore as she seems halfway not interested. any ideas on how to rekindle interest?

You are not getting it. You got noticed. She isn't saying you are being bad, she actually means you are not giving her special attention! There's this method called the push and pull. You give her some acknowledgement by smiling shyly at her and looking away or giving her a wink if you catch her looking at you. Small quick doses of friendly attention. Make a joke or tease her harmlessly....try to be a bit funny. You have to show some kind of interest and you can do that just by what I told you. How you perform is up to you. You will just have to learn how to work it.

[smackie9]

Dude it's never too late to turn things around if she had some interest in you.

[Zanderini]

Dude it's never too late to turn things around if she had some interest in you.

well obviously she has some intrest. i mean we've hooked up twice been on a date etc... last time i randomly saw her at an event we didnt talk much. I mean i dont even at this point know what to text her since it would be kinda random since i havent talked to her in 2 weeks. so i mean idk if i should ask her out again again or ask how she's been etc....

[smackie9]

Ya ask her how she is doing or what she's been up to....whatever just make contact.

[smackie9]

Is it not obvious what you should be doing?

[Zanderini]

You are not getting it. You got noticed. She isn't saying you are being bad, she actually means you are not giving her special attention! There's this method called the push and pull. You give her some acknowledgement by smiling shyly at her and looking away or giving her a wink if you catch her looking at you. Small quick doses of friendly attention. Make a joke or tease her harmlessly....try to be a bit funny. You have to show some kind of interest and you can do that just by what I told you. How you perform is up to you. You will just have to learn how to work it.

the issue with this is i very very rarely see her which makes it much harder. I actually have to arrange to see her. like i said the last time was little odd and it was basically hi and bye because i was too shy

Ya ask her how she is doing or what she's been up to....whatever just make contact.

will do. I just hope its not bothering her because when ive done this previously she is very short whereas she didnt used to be . so we shall see what the response is.

[MerryH]

i mean its my shyness that kinda comes off as being rude.

I know a lot of shy people who manage not to be rude. Shyness in itself is not rude. That you're refusing to acknowledge or explain what you did that was rude doesn't help much. You asked what you could do to fix whatever it is that caused her disinterest, so if you don't know what it was and we don't know what it was, how will that help you? Just spill it, already.

[Zanderini]

I know a lot of shy people who manage not to be rude. Shyness in itself is not rude. That you're refusing to acknowledge or explain what you did that was rude doesn't help much. You asked what you could do to fix whatever it is that caused her disinterest, so if you don't know what it was and we don't know what it was, how will that help you? Just spill it, already.

well i dont think there is much way to fix w/e it is because ive already apologized to her. What im wondering is if and how i should go about contacting her again knowing that she is confused by me she did not say i was rude but another girl unrelated to her has said that i come off as rude and confusing. basically what i want to know is what is a good way to contact to her/start conversation considering we havent talked in 2 weeks and whether it is worth asking her again since she always seems to be busy but said that we should hang out.

[MerryH]

well i dont think there is much way to fix w/e it is because ive already apologized to her.

So something did happen (tell us the story, jeez.) And you acknowledged it and apologized, but she still doesn't seem interested in talking to you. And you've been asking her to hang out and she says no. And you haven't contacted her in two weeks. I think that's a pretty good sign she doesn't want to have much to do with you. But go for it, call her up and be friendly and ask how she's doing. Chat it up. Then ask if she's free for dinner over the weekend. If she says no, see if she's available another time. If no, then you have exhausted all reasonable attempts and need to move on.

[Zanderini]

So something did happen (tell us the story, jeez.) And you acknowledged it and apologized, but she still doesn't seem interested in talking to you. And you've been asking her to hang out and she says no. And you haven't contacted her in two weeks. I think that's a pretty good sign she doesn't want to have much to do with you. But go for it, call her up and be friendly and ask how she's doing. Chat it up. Then ask if she's free for dinner over the weekend. If she says no, see if she's available another time. If no, then you have exhausted all reasonable attempts and need to move on.

thats my plan. Basically i said we should hang out and she said yes definetly and when i ask her she has some type of excuse as to why she cant. One time was legit and the other time was basically just saying no. so im quite confused on how to move forward