He doesn't desire me yet..

[Adrianna]

Hello all...I hope you guys can help and give me advise..
My Ex and I just patched together after 6 months broke off, and now into our 2nd week, he still does not desire me sexually. We only have sex once last week as per my request but he did it just so to make me feel better. I know he is still getting sex from his booty calls girls (He has told me about this and I have accepted it. He said he used to his single life after we broken off and these girls come to him and offer him anal sex).

I asked why he doesn't desire me sexually yet still want to be with me. He said he need to adjust and need something for things to get back as before we broken off. He said sex with me is not just sex but meaningful one. And for now he is not ready as for the last 6 months he has put me into friend categories (we never have sex after broken off, I won't allow). BUT he is a very high sex drive person. I know he is sleeping with these girls and he told me give him a few weeks to get rid of all these girls and get it out of his systems.

My question is: why doesn't he desire me sexually yet still wants to be with me since he has so many other girls ? What is his intention? He treats me exactly like gf but without sex. He has so many young and pretty girls to choose to be his gf, but why he asked me to patch thing up with him yet he is not ready to have sex with me ? and still need sometimes to get these girls away ?

Thanks guys...

P/S: I know it is not right for accepting his flings with others, but in our society it is pretty common and sort of "acceptable"..

To add on above, before we patched back as couple, he had asked me to go to Europe with him for holiday. He always ask me to go holiday the 6 months broke off period and we don't have sex. He says he enjoy my company. He says he is hoping this coming Europe trip he can recover ourself and hope to get closer. Still, sex is a big part of relationship right ? We also have been arguing a lot because of the rejections and these girls, yet he still want to be with me !! I don't get it. We are not young. He is 37 years old and I am 31, but I can't think straight.

[qwertz]

He doesnt want you because he is getting sex elsewhere. If you want an exclusive relationship then you need to tell him this. It doesnt sound to me that he really cares for you, because if he did he wouldnt be fcuking other women still.
Whether is is acceptable in your society doesnt matter if it is not acceptable to you.

[Ric]

He might be emotionally but not physically attracted to you. There might be some other weird reason.
In any event, in a relationship you will want to be sexually compatible. If he isn't even willing to immediately put a stop to his sexual activity with other girls than he isn't worthy of your time.

So, if you really want to be with him tell him to be loyal and faithful to you, stop seeing any other girls and just build his desire for you back by having sex with you.

In all honesty, it seems like a bullshit excuse that he just needs to get used to it again.

[Anturo]

So let me get this straight. You "Patched" things up with this guy yet he continues to bang other women. You are ok with this?

He is banging so many other women that he doenst want to bang you. Then when he does its because you guilt him into it.

You are nothing but an emotional rag for him to use and throw away at his disposal. Stand up and have a little more respect for yourself than that.

You "know" it is not right to accept his other flings. So dont accept it. Don't settle for what "society" says because you will only be unhappy. Dont ever settle.

Because for every guy out there doing what he is doing there is 2 others out there, one wanting to kick his ass for being so stupid and another wanting to show you how a great relationship is suppose to work.

[sweetkissesforu]

to me your bf seems very selfih you must come from a male dominate country still he is inconsiderate telling you about these other woman id leave him in a flash

[sweetkissesforu]

So let me get this straight. You "Patched" things up with this guy yet he continues to bang other women. You are ok with this?

He is banging so many other women that he doenst want to bang you. Then when he does its because you guilt him into it.

You are nothing but an emotional rag for him to use and throw away at his disposal. Stand up and have a little more respect for yourself than that.

You "know" it is not right to accept his other flings. So dont accept it. Don't settle for what "society" says because you will only be unhappy. Dont ever settle.

Because for every guy out there doing what he is doing there is 2 others out there, one wanting to kick his ass for being so stupid and another wanting to show you how a great relationship is suppose to work.

well put and he is a selfih man who thinks of his own needs leave

[Adrianna]

Thank you all for the good advices. Why it is that I still can't break away or let go of this man after so long (coming to 6 months now)?

[Adrianna]

Hi Ric: he says he needs time to get back to where we were before and I should not expect it immediately. He asked to give him sometimes adjustment to be in relationship again yet even after all my questioning and arguing (which he hates so much) he still wants to work thing out with me. I asked why doesn't he choose one of them to be his gf he said these girls are young and like to party and no future with them. Am I being used in a way? I am now try not to contact him but he will still contact me. Our status still not clear, in his mind he still think I am with him, but I am slowly getting myself away from him but very hard. For selfish reason, I am thinking to hang on with him for companion until I meet someone else but it is tough as by spending time with him make me feel unfair, sad and jealousy of those bootycall girls.

[HeartIsAching]

Seriously?

[Anturo]

Hi Ric: he says he needs time to get back to where we were before and I should not expect it immediately. He asked to give him sometimes adjustment to be in relationship again yet even after all my questioning and arguing (which he hates so much) he still wants to work thing out with me. I asked why doesn't he choose one of them to be his gf he said these girls are young and like to party and no future with them. Am I being used in a way? I am now try not to contact him but he will still contact me. Our status still not clear, in his mind he still think I am with him, but I am slowly getting myself away from him but very hard. For selfish reason, I am thinking to hang on with him for companion until I meet someone else but it is tough as by spending time with him make me feel unfair, sad and jealousy of those bootycall girls.

Dont hang on to him for fear of being alone. That is just absurd. Fill your time with things you love and in time he will fade from memory.

You need to move on simple as that.

This man wants to party and be wild with the young girls while you sit home and do the housewife stuff. He wants his cake and eat it too.

This is B.S. Adrianna you and anyone else in a situation like this deserves better.

If you choose not to get out of it dont say you were never warned.

[Ric]

Hi Ric: he says he needs time to get back to where we were before and I should not expect it immediately. He asked to give him sometimes adjustment to be in relationship again yet even after all my questioning and arguing (which he hates so much) he still wants to work thing out with me. I asked why doesn't he choose one of them to be his gf he said these girls are young and like to party and no future with them. Am I being used in a way? I am now try not to contact him but he will still contact me. Our status still not clear, in his mind he still think I am with him, but I am slowly getting myself away from him but very hard. For selfish reason, I am thinking to hang on with him for companion until I meet someone else but it is tough as by spending time with him make me feel unfair, sad and jealousy of those bootycall girls.

*late response*
To me this is happening.
Him: Wants an emotional relationship with you, something he sees as serious, an extra support or whatever. And at the same time he wants to bang a lot of hot young chicks.
You: You want a serious committed exclusive relationship with both a sexual and emotional aspect.

So, while opinions might be diverse on him being an ass or not, the most important part here is that you guys aren't compatible.

[SelflessnHumble]

Thank you all for the good advices. Why it is that I still can't break away or let go of this man after so long (coming to 6 months now)?

-Because you haven't any other options
-You are desperate for him because he likes a variety of vagina's to play with.
-You feel you can't do better.