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Thread: Should I say yes to dating him?

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    Should I say yes to dating him?

    My ex-husband and I were married for five years. Then I got way to close to his brother, we ended up having an affair, over the span of five years I had one daughter with my ex-husband now we share custody and have moved on. I ended up having feelings for his brother and caring about him a lot. We have been spending a few dates together and he recently asked me to date him and I told him I would get back to him.

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    If you do you're both about to burn some bridges. I advise about being very, very very careful should you persue this.

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    'No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.' sorry i couldnt resist the office space quote but seriously i would say NO! unless you love this guy sooooo much its worth pretty much ****ing up everyones life that is involved
    I got loaded last night on a bottle of gin
    And I had a fight with my redneck girlfriend
    But when I'm drinkin' I am nobody's friend
    Please baby wait for me until they let me out again

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    You cant help who you fall in love with but wont it be weird for your child? This is their uncle right.. it might not be worth the risk but thats for you to decide

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    No.

    Just..... no.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    It's a step I'd not be willing to take myself. You're likely better off not dating him.
    It might be awkward for the kid and it will almost certainly bring upon some serious family issues.
    Besides, a guy ****ing over his brother like that doesn't seem like a very moral person.

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    There is no good answer for this. It is a choice you have to make. Consider the pros and cons.

    You really have to think about how it would affect those you care about the most...and would that be livable for you?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnybeach7 View Post
    There is no good answer for this.
    Yes there is. It's "no".
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    this is messed up on a whole bunch of different levels...I don't even know what to say

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    Quote Originally Posted by vashti View Post
    Yes there is. It's "no".
    That is easy to say from outside the situation. We don't know the fine details of everything. We don't know why she cheated, or even if it was the reason for the divorce.

    We don't know how the family feels, etc.

    By telling someone their only option is "no", you could be preventing them from being with a potential soul mate, or from learning important life lessons.
    Being a guru, you should already know that

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    I won't waste my time explaining how this might impact a young child's development, and in how many ways. Maybe when you realize there is more at stake than just these two people, you can also be a guru one day.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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    In my experience, anyone who claims to be a guru, which I would not do, is the farthest from being one.

    You don't know anything about the situation, or how the child feels about the uncle, or if he would make a great father to the child.
    Are you also claiming to be a child psychologist?

    Nothing wrong with offering your opinion, but that is all it is. Your opinion. My opinion. A few others opinions. Ultimately this person will make their own decision.

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    My ex-husband(His brother) just told me to move on with him if he makes me happy. I really do love him and I believe he loves me.

    My daughter loves him. He is her family I am stuck

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    Quote Originally Posted by NYBabe2011 View Post
    My ex-husband(His brother) just told me to move on with him if he makes me happy. I really do love him and I believe he loves me.

    My daughter loves him. He is her family I am stuck
    Hmm, if his brother is ok with it that changes a lot. How old is your daughter?

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    Quote Originally Posted by NYBabe2011 View Post
    My ex-husband(His brother) just told me to move on with him if he makes me happy. I really do love him and I believe he loves me.

    My daughter loves him. He is her family I am stuck
    That is good news. Where are you stuck? Dating him is not a major decision. Try it out and see how it feels. If things don't work out, it's just some dates, that's all.

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