Should I worry about this? Should I say something?

[2ndtimearound]

My boyfriend has been away at least one night for five of the past six weekends. All for guys time. I feel so unimportant and left out right now I can't even sleep.

His best friend is having marital troubles (ongoing in the 3 1/2 years I've known them, but apparently things are pretty bad now) so my boyfriend says he's hanging out with his buddy to help him when he feels down. I get it but they've had had four overnights - two were to go away to a basketball game and to a casino (tonight) with his best friend in that time and two times the friend has crashed at my boyfriends house (we don't live together).

I feel really jealous and upset. And for tonight trip it looks like he didn't even take his phone with him. He hasn't answered a text I sent him - and before he left he told me he was at a certain hotel in case of an emergency. I'm worried that his best friend is out trolling for women, and because he's awkward and unskilled (been married for twenty years) he has my boyfriend with him. I am having HUGE anxiety over this. My ex husband cheated with a women at work, which ended my marriage suddenly and crushingly, and I've never been able to feel secure about the cheating thing since then.

I'm not crazy texting/stalker girlfriend - usually don't even text him at all. When he was in Florida for five days golfing two weeks ago I didn't even contact him unless he contacted me first, because I knew he was having guy time and didn't want to bug him. But I don't understand why he wouldn't answer his phone or why he wouldn't take it with him if he didn't.

I am scared. Is he out trolling for women? Why wouldn't he have his phone? Am I being paranoid?

[smackie9]

Well Ya it's time to have a talk with your BF about it. You must approach this with caution and with a calm mature manner. Tell him that you sympathize that his friend is going through a rough patch in his life, but it's starting to get a bit out of hand. Explain to him that he is in a relationship and is not a single guy so he should stop acting like one. Say that you are not against him having a night out, but weekend jaunts to party all night, staying at hotels, taking off on a 5 day trip is too much....that wouldn't fly with me either btw.

I would be more concerned for your relationship because it's almost like he is using his friend as an excuse to do all this partying. It's time to have a serious talk with him about this. It seems to me there is more to this than "helping" out a friend.

[2ndtimearound]

No I don't hate you because you are honest. I wanted honest.

He was a bachelor for awhile and has a wide circle of friends and things he's used to doing. I just don't want to be that woman that ties her man down so much that he can't do anything that matters to him...but he is taking my relaxed, laid back approach for granted and pushing it too far.

I was married for ten years, and while I was a good, faithful partner who saw him through some seriously bad stuff (his mom was terminally ill for most of that time), sometimes I probably held the reigns too tight. I am trying not to make the same mistake. But I don't want to be a doormat either.