gf broke up with me, but doesn't want to be friends. can't understand why?

[pickles4uk]

My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. She did it online and told me to make it easier for me and to prevent me from suffering I should delete her from my life. Take her off my facebook, delete her number etc. So that we are not even friends. I told her I didn't want to do this because I still want to see her and be friends.
She said if I didn't do it she would do it for me.
I'm finding it harder to cope now knowing I will never see her again because she was a really good friend and I don't want to lose a friend as well as a girlfriend. I told her this, but I don't think she's listening.
I didn't hurt her in our relationship it ended because we had become distant and she claims even though she still loves me and wanted to give me another chance she had learnt to let go of me.
She always sed if we ever did break up she would want to remain friends and be civil around each other, but somethings changed and I don't know what.
I'm not sure whether she's trying to make me hate her (I don't) so that I get over her or if she's doing this to make it easier for her because she still has feelings for me and can't bear to see me.
She's only 18 and I think I'm her first serious boyfriend and some people I've spoken to said she's being a bit immature about this.
I was hoping for some female advice on maybe what she's thinking and if there is anything I could do or say to make her reconsider.
Oh and I know it's not because she hates me because I asked her that and she said she didn't (unless she was lying)
It feels like her intentions are good, but it's making it harder.

[R3AL_LUV]

Could it be that she has found someone else?

[DarkHelmet82]

My ex was 23 and I was her first real boyfriend. She was also immature which could have contributed her to breaking up with me in the first place. From what ive been able to gather, she doesnt want to lead me on if she stays friends with me. It has however been a month of NC, so I will try again. I summarized my situation because It is similar. I think if you wait a little while she will calm down and ether A. Miss you B. Realize she wants to remain friends with you C. Nothing will change

She may have some personal issues she needs to deal with.. but you are still young.

[Sunnybeach7]

I would bet she's lying. She says the reason is to save you from pain, but I'd bet the true reason is to save herself the aggravation of dealing with you. (Not saying you are aggravating, but that is probably how SHE feels).

I also wouldn't be surprised if there was someone else in the picture...someone maybe she doesn't want you to know about, because she wants to make you feel like the breakup is your fault.

[IncognitoSir]

I also wouldn't be surprised if there was someone else in the picture...someone maybe she doesn't want you to know about, because she wants to make you feel like the breakup is your fault.

Yup, keep it moving, not to mention, she's only 18, she's changed and will continue to change for many years to come. People, especially at that age are constantly and sometimes rapidly changing trying to discover what they want/like. It will be best for you not to contact her, don't chase her. Not to mention, if she were a true friend, she wouldn't of broke up with you online. A real woman would do that shit face to face!

[ashley89]

that's not cool. most of the time people say they wanna be friends cause even though they don't wanna be in a relationship, they still do care about the person. or they want to feel less guilty. usually you don't hear of this happening unless the breakup was horrible and ended in some really bad way which it doesn't sound like happened

[DarkHelmet82]

that's not cool. most of the time people say they wanna be friends cause even though they don't wanna be in a relationship, they still do care about the person. or they want to feel less guilty. usually you don't hear of this happening unless the breakup was horrible and ended in some really bad way which it doesn't sound like happened

Yeah i agree.. but most of the time friendship doesnt work and the person saying it is usually full of shit.

[Kaius]

People should NOT be friends after a break up. I mean, that is so awkward. Do you really want to know when she is sleeping with a new guy? Do you want to be involved in her life because she is so cool?
I have never been in contact with any of my exs. I literally deleted them from my life and my memories. For me, I forget people if I choose to...and for the most part, I can't recall doing anything significant
with any of them. The only reason why my ex-wife is still in contact is because we have 2 small kids.

[DarkHelmet82]

you dont actually want to be friends with her.. you are hoping that her seeing you will make her come back.. I know thats what you want because i feel the same way even though I know its not the right thing to do.. but I think my situation is more unique...

If you truely want to be friends with her, let it happen naturally, otherwise what kind of friendship would you end up having?

[SelflessnHumble]

Your first mistake is to take what a woman says as truth. Don't look at her words of consolation. Look at her actions.
She dumped you via the internet: she's a coward, afraid of what? Giving you the dignity and respect of telling you face to face? Yeah, that.

You were so infatuated with her you FAILED to see the warning signs she was giving you.
She is listening: she just doesn't give a shit. What you thought you had was a delusion. Whatever you thought existed is gone.

You became distant with one another? It takes two people to do this, not just one. You are just as much to blame as she is. Don't absolve yourself here.

Something's changed? PEOPLE change. She found something better.

She's only 18: more the reason why she dumped you.
She's young. Inexperienced. She wants to experience all that life has to offer.
Who are you to be so selfish that you want such a young girl all to yourself?

She will not reconsider and she cannot me manipulated to take you back.
This doesn't work in life. If you truly love her and respect her? You will back your shit up: and let her live her life unimpeded without her having to deal with your negativity/sadness.

[IncognitoSir]

Your first mistake is to take what a woman says as truth. Don't look at her words of consolation. Look at her actions.
She dumped you via the internet: she's a coward, afraid of what? Giving you the dignity and respect of telling you face to face? Yeah, that.

You were so infatuated with her you FAILED to see the warning signs she was giving you.
She is listening: she just doesn't give a shit. What you thought you had was a delusion. Whatever you thought existed is gone.

You became distant with one another? It takes two people to do this, not just one. You are just as much to blame as she is. Don't absolve yourself here.

Something's changed? PEOPLE change. She found something better.

She's only 18: more the reason why she dumped you.
She's young. Inexperienced. She wants to experience all that life has to offer.
Who are you to be so selfish that you want such a young girl all to yourself?

She will not reconsider and she cannot me manipulated to take you back.
This doesn't work in life. If you truly love her and respect her? You will back your shit up: and let her live her life unimpeded with your negativity/sadness.

Man, you are on fire! Hit the nail on the head with this one.