I want to date a friend but Im not good enough for her

[Kidwithoutaclue]

Hello all females or"Ladies" if I wanna be creepy. I have been friends with this extremely beautiful girl since 10th grade and Im now in college. She was my brothers friend first, then we all started hanging out. She is extremely funny and the best person to hang with when feelin blue. She is actually 2 years older than I am and so we lost contact when she graduated. Well now Im in college and we've started hanging out again and it was just like old times. Well its been about a week since then and my brother starts dropping bombs on me telling me that she likes me. The thing is that she is WAY too pretty for me. She is a hard 10 and I dont mean just looks. From what I can tell I would judge myself to be about a 6 based solely on looks. maybe less I dont know. I'm pretty sure my bro's telling the truth because my mom mentioned to me that kali (the girl) wont date my brother whom I thought was a perfect match. I always liked kali and I always thought she was the most beautiful person I'd ever met but I never ever thought of us dating becuase it seemed like such a novel Idea. I just never thought myself to be good enough for her. I've only ever had one girlfriend and I wasnt really into her. It seems so much scarier when it comes to someone you really like. Im not the first move kindof guy and Im pretty shy. Im not one to play the"game" so to speak so Im asking you forum "How should I approach this?" As my name would imply I dont have a clue nor do I have confidence. HELP!!!

[Klim]

Well...

You say you're not good enough for her. I'm not trying to say just what you want to hear, but that previous statement is probably false. I would've said I wasn't good enough for my current girlfriend 2 years ago, but "good", along with beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Anyway, she probably thinks highly of you if she likes you, no matter what you think of yourself.

Also, I only had one girlfriend before my current one, too, but that doesn't mean your interest in other people should be less valid than someone else who has had 20 "relationships" before they're done with puberty.

Another thing: Paraphrasing, you say she's the most beautiful and nicest person you've met. Might you have an attraction to her just for those things? Have you thought a long time about whether a relationship between you two will work?

One last thing, then I'll be out of your hair: you say you're shy (still paraphrasing), and you don't play this "game" much? Neither do I. I lack loads of confidence when it comes to love, and I overthink everything. I recommend just going for it and coming out with whatever you have to say to her. No beating around the bush or avoiding it, just do it. It'll work out better than waiting for the "perfect" time to say it.

[girl68]

Dunno know man if you think you're not good enough you probably aren't. Let's face it girls who are 10's the whole package have THE best men to choose from chasing them. What do you have to offer that's spectacular? If you can't step up to the plate confident in what you have to offer, bow down because it will never happen man. ANd even if it does you'll constantly sit around secound guessing yourself, paranoid, and insecure and it won't last based merely on that.

I suggest either you forget about it entierly or work on yourself and figure out how exactly you are so awesome that you can beat out the cream of the crop and get with her.

[ryann87]

I say got for it man! I'm thinking along the lines of it's not really up to YOU wether or not your good enough for her, its up to HER. And from the way your talking it sounds to me like you've seen the movie "shes out of my league". Well in that movie the hot girl liked the "6" guy, for who he was, not for how he looked. Plus, despite what the media would have you think most of the time, not all girls, or even guys for that matter, judge just on looks. You gotta go for it man it could be one of the best things you ever do! When I was 15 I had a good friend and she was 17, incredibly hot, and she was like my big sis, and she had a friend who was even hotter. We all went out one night and I was talking to my "sis" the next day and I mentioned how hot her friend was. She told me she'd hook me up with her, I took it as kind of a joke, never thinking it was possible. A few days later I went out with her and we ended up dating for 5 months. I cant help but think what might have happened if we were to date later on in our lives when we were more mature and not so new at the relationship thing. DONT LET THIS OPPORTUNITY PASS YOU BY!

[ryann87]

Something I forgot to add. I'm goin through something sort of similar. I have a goof friend I'm in love with and I was debating wether or not to tell her. After some encouragement from some users on here, I decided I'm going to tell her this week. I feel like if I don't I might regret it forever, never knowing what could have happened. I'm scared I might get rejected and I'm scared I might screw up our friendship, but I cant let that stop me, no regrets! Think along those lines, how are you going to feel in the future if you dont go for it?? "Always do what you are afraid to do" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

[loverman1]

well first of all you are good enough for her, i'm serious, everybody in the world is equal and all poeple are pretty much the same. Looks are really not that important to woman, compatability and understanding is what matters the most. I think you should take it easy with her and flirt a little and see how she responds ect.. use your best judgement, give yourself a chance !

[girl68]

everybody in the world is equal and all poeple are pretty much the same. Looks are really not that important to woman, compatability and understanding is what matters the most.

In and ideal world sure, in real life total bullshit. You think the blonde bombshell is gonna get with below average Joe with no money but has a fantastic personality? Don't think so... why? because there's always gonna be someone who is way better looking AND has the personality to go with it, and a good looking gal is gonna have her pick between the 2.

[jerybaby18]

ok, first off, never ever think someone is too good for you. A low self esteem is the biggest turn off. The thing I hate hearing most, is that statement... "so and so is too good for me". Now if that is what you are going to truly believe, then you may as well give up now. Nothing is more of a turn off. So if you are not going to go into this with the knowledge that you are just as good, and worth something, you are going to push her away quite quickly.
Be yourself. And ask her out. What's the worst that can happen? You will never know unless you try. But as I said, you need to get a little more confidence in yourself, or really, don't bother. i am not trying to be rude, just honest. Please, don't ever think someone is too good for you. You need to seriously work on that.

[jerybaby18]

Let me also say this.....
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I would have to disagree with what girl68 has said. You can be the best looking guy in the world, and the second you open your mouth I will not give you the time of day if you are a cocky asshole. So, looks do NOT completely matter with women. I can rephrase that by saying, not with me, anyway. I have dated guys that aren't particularly gorgeous. But there was a connection. And with me, the things that attract me to a guy is something as small as a beautiful smile, cute laugh, someone who makes me laugh. It isn't about how perfect they are physically. And not to sound cocky, cuz I am far from it, but I am a very attractive woman. And I don't look at guys as being not good enough for me. EVER. It's not in me to think I am better than someone else. Nor is it in me to think I am too good for someone. Everyone has their flaws. Noone is perfect. What looks perfect on the outside, means nothing. So never look at people to be too good for you, because to be honest, you have no clue what someone is REALLY like. They only show you what they want you to see, until you really get to know them for a while. So, go for it. Never ever stop yourself for the thought someone is "too good". Do you really want someone who is superficial anyway? And that is why I have to disagree with Girl68. The people she describes, are superficial assholes you don't want anyway.
Rejection can be a bitch, but you get over it. And it is always better to go for it than to wonder what could have been if you did.