Don't know how to react to her...

[magikpumpkin]

hey everyone

I took a risk and asked my best female mate out a couple of months ago. It was so amazing the first few weeks, i felt like this was the girl i'm meant to spend the rets of my life with - & being best male & female mates to each other it made sense, cos we were this close and everything. But it only last about a month after it didn't start to work, i still have no real reason why except that she pretty soon became "unsure" and it was clear it wasn't working. So we (tho i reluctantly) "agreed" to split up cos we'd start hurting each other, in heinsight she was pushing for the break up.

Since then about 1-2 weeks passed and it was alrite i guess, to b honest i can't reli remember how we were to each other. I then went away to Munich on a college exchange and i found myself missing her. I also met a girl who now wants to go out with me and i told her i can't cos im still confusd about my ex. I do sorta like this girl, but since i've got bk i've compared her to my ex and i know that i like my ex more. Way more.

And now the im def startin to pay for that risk i took askin my best mate out. I told her yesterday on a free period we share together, about the girl i'd met (or rather, met me) whilst i was away and explained how i'd said No for now cos i'm "still confused about my ex". Now she was sayin b4 i went away that she was "appearing to cope" (i.e. get on with life as normal, but reli wasn't). Well I told her that i'm not over her, and casually as you can say it she just came out with:

"Oh yeh...I'm ok now."

And just changed the subject and carried on talking. I was devasted, cos it means since i've been away my feelings for her have got stronger and she's completely got over me and is just living life as normal now. It hurts so much. Last nite i was sat downstairs on my own at about 1am in tears.

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today's been horrible. it's been a mix of her wanting to chat and be reali friendly and then huge distance between us. I mean on the bus home literally just now we didn't talk or look at each other, she didn't say bye as she left. I'm at a complete loss what to do. My friends say i should try distanceing myself from her, but how can i? we've got the same group of friends!! I feel like talking to her about this, but i know her: if she's gotten over me then she's gonna have this irratated tone as she sympathises. As if im getting in her way, draggain her down, cos i haven't just got ova it all yet.

HELP!! what should i do???

[LucidDream]

Try remembering what you where like around her before all this started, and gradualy make your way back to that sort of behaviour. It can be a little tough I know, and it needs a bit of willpower and confidence. Pretending you're getting/gotten over them may not seam like the best idea to begin with, but it worked for me. When she starts to think your over her, she will act more normal around you, and this in turn will help you to be more comfortable around her, making her even more comfortable around you. It kinda starts an upwards spiral. After a while you two should be back to 'normal'. Your feelings may not have changed, but at least you can be good friends.