Boyfriend Rates Other Women Online!!

[MerryH]

For reals? You never joked about being with a high school girl while ****in around with the guys? Not sure the the crowd you hang around but thats fairly normal with most group of guys. Not like its constantly brought up and only a ****in freek would hit on an underage girl but we joke from time to time about it....just like this guy is doing

No, I totally have, bro. I make inappropriate jokes with the dudes all the time. Rape, incest, racism. All great topics for dumb jokes amongst my bros.

But again, he wasn't making a joke. He was merely stating that he wants to **** underage Asian girls.

[vertical_sky]

OMG! Do want a fireworks show and the Goodyear blimp fly over to explain this?! Why would he talk to you about this if he was a cheater?

... Actually I may need that blimp and fireworks to explain it, cause I don't quite get the significance...

[Regnent]

I've only got two things to say.

Never hit 'find posts' by a SO on an online forum without a cup of salt.

Rating women is nothing exceptional, especially on in internet.

[surfhb]

But again, he wasn't making a joke. He was merely stating that he wants to **** underage Asian girls.

Of course he was He's on an online forum dedicated to hot asian women. behind a keyboard at home. If he was serious about banging hot asian women, he wouldnt be in his underwear behind a keyboard saying those things.

[MerryH]

Of course he was He's on an online forum dedicated to hot asian women.

Nope.

(it's a forum dedicated to general geek-related stuff)

____

[surfhb]

I don't quite get the significance...

Because a cheater would not discuss such things with the one he's cheating on...pretty obvious

[Sarcasticshoe]

Don't worry about it... its kind of normal behavior for guys. As some of the others said, guys are a lot of talk.. but not a lot of action. don't worry about it sweetie, but now that you know about his posts, you have an ethical decision as to if you want to tell him you saw what he said. Really, you shouldtnt have been snooping but now that you found it... well, i think it could weigh pretty heavily on your shoulders.

[vashti]

I think rating women online is pretty much all fantasy, whereas YOU are reality. Don't you mentally grade actors or musicians? Do they look anything like what you actually settle down with?

[smichelle]

i am in a similar situation myself. your situation isnt that bad. the things that my fiance posted had even other guys saying that he is a perv and needs to grow up. i think you are most likely overreacting/

[SelflessnHumble]

You need a slap of REALITY right in the face.
Newsflash: when you see a guy on the street that is attractive: you do the same shit! Except you don't frequent a forum to quantitatively put values to what your conscious/subconscious does on its own.

He isn't F ucking these girls/going out with them.
He didn't post the pictures, he's merely superficially adding his opinion on the looks of those women.
It doesn't mean he doesn't like you.

However if you were to put your picture up on that site, I'm willing to guess you wouldn't yield the same numbers those women get. Fine.
Perhaps he sees something in you that isn't there with those vain women.

Now...If YOU feel he doesn't find you attractive: that is another matter.
If he treats you good, has sex, finds you attractive then you shouldn't let your shitty insecurities ruin a relationship.

Btw, this is what happens when you snoop like a nosy coward.
Stalking someone seeing what they are doing is weak.
It speaks of your insecurity and lack of trust.

IN the end?
Be thankful he isn't a closet homosexual.
He loves women. If you're not skinny? May I ask why not? Does he want you to be skinny? Do you?
If so, what are you doing to get the weight down?

If you were gorgeous and amazing do you think you'd still feel the same way? I think not.
Sounds like you are putting YOUR insecurities and low self esteem ON HIM and his actions meaning your problems were already there before he posted a single boob or ass comment.

If you want to be sheltered from life?
Get with a homosexual man and be done with it.
Men find attractive women hot, sexy and of course attractive. Look up the word attractive.

Obviously you either pick another man to be with who judges women the same caliber as yourself as hot and amazing or?
You ask yourself are you doing your best to look your best for your partner?

[vertical_sky]

You need a slap of REALITY right in the face.

I agree she needs to calm down and control her insecurities a little, but dude that is harsh.

Most women feel really insecure when they compare themselves with the beautiful actresses/models/porn stars/etc. These women put forward an unrealistic ideal of beauty (spending eight hours at the gym to get that sculpted butt every day, air brushing, etc.) and yet SOME guys buy into the idea that THAT is what is attractive and actual reality (that she's got a bit of a stomach or some cellulite) is unattractive and the woman's fault.

You're blaming the OP for being ugly instead of questioning if the guy has unattainable expectations of attractiveness.

I think most women worry about this to a small degree, yes, even the beautiful ones, because there's always someone more beautiful and some guys can be very insensitive about how they treat their girlfriend.

I don't think the problem is the bf likes beautiful women... I think the problem is he doesn't make his girlfriend feel like she stacks up against beautiful women.

[SelflessnHumble]

I agree she needs to calm down and control her insecurities a little, but dude that is harsh.

Most women feel really insecure when they compare themselves with the beautiful actresses/models/porn stars/etc. These women put forward an unrealistic ideal of beauty (spending eight hours at the gym to get that sculpted butt every day, air brushing, etc.) and yet SOME guys buy into the idea that THAT is what is attractive and actual reality (that she's got a bit of a stomach or some cellulite) is unattractive and the woman's fault.

You're blaming the OP for being ugly instead of questioning if the guy has unattainable expectations of attractiveness.

I think most women worry about this to a small degree, yes, even the beautiful ones, because there's always someone more beautiful and some guys can be very insensitive about how they treat their girlfriend.

I don't think the problem is the bf likes beautiful women... I think the problem is he doesn't make his girlfriend feel like she stacks up against beautiful women.

Not at all VS. I feel she IS beautiful. The issue is that due to her snoopy behavior she's found out that he views women as objects to judge their looks, attributes and features...
Now her self confidence (which is already the issue) gets heightened because she now has confirmation of his worldly wants in a woman (hidden until now) see that?

It's not her fault for HIS choices.
I ask her what is she doing to lose weight?

Obviously if she isn't what he wants?
He should not be with her.
If it is an issue for her? Before condemning him? I ask what has she done to be appealing?

Does she flirt with him? Does she initiate sex? What is she doing?

I never called her ugly.
You inferred that by misreading my posts. This is the inherent issue with women.

Lack of communication. Why not ask me if I thought she was ugly?
Can she not be beautiful? Yet not be beautiful to her man who objectifies women inside of a closet?

[vertical_sky]

I ask her what is she doing to lose weight?

Obviously if she isn't what he wants?
He should not be with her.
If it is an issue for her? Before condemning him? I ask what has she done to be appealing?

Does she flirt with him? Does she initiate sex? What is she doing?

I never called her ugly.
You inferred that by misreading my posts. This is the inherent issue with women.

Lack of communication. Why not ask me if I thought she was ugly?
Can she not be beautiful? Yet not be beautiful to her man who objectifies women inside of a closet?

It doesn't make any sense to say she's beautiful, but she needs to do stuff to be appealing, needs to initiate sex or flirt with him. The women he's oggling online don't do that! They receive his affection just by being hot. So why is the onus on HER to be appealing.

So... what, she needs to completely change herself to appeal to him? Instead of it being his responsibility to break up with her if she isn't what he wants? (Which is what she seems to feel.)

Where do you even get the weight thing from... Her big freak out was over Asian women (and teenagers.) She could lose all the weight in the world and still not be Asian (and, ya know, a teenager.)

[SelflessnHumble]

It doesn't make any sense to say she's beautiful, but she needs to do stuff to be appealing, needs to initiate sex or flirt with him. The women he's oggling online don't do that! They receive his affection just by being hot. So why is the onus on HER to be appealing.

So... what, she needs to completely change herself to appeal to him? Instead of it being his responsibility to break up with her if she isn't what he wants? (Which is what she seems to feel.)

Where do you even get the weight thing from... Her big freak out was over Asian women (and teenagers.) She could lose all the weight in the world and still not be Asian (and, ya know, a teenager.)

It does make sense. Perfect sense.
A beautiful woman just doesn't sit there and look "pretty" while being devoid of sensuality.
If you're not appealing? You won't appeal to the things he likes in a woman.

She doesn't need to change herself.
If you want to tell her, "just be yourself and if he doesn't appreciate that he isn't the right one for you" go right ahead.
She obviously loves this guy! See that?

So I'm asking her what she has done or hasn't to get his attention off of that site and on herself.
I don't think being an asian teenager has anything to do with this.
You only see what you see and make your statement.

I don't.


So are you saying that she shouldn't lose weight since it doesn't (hypothetically) matter she lose ANY weight because
you feel she isn't an Asian teenager?

[vertical_sky]

So I'm asking her what she has done or hasn't to get his attention off of that site and on herself.
I don't think being an asian teenager has anything to do with this.
You only see what you see and make your statement.
I don't.

You're only seeing what you want to see as well..... That the guy is oggling OTHER women, but somehow it's the WOMAN'S responsibility to make him stop and pay attention to her instead? Your line of logic is very dangerous, because it assumes that any time a guy seeks pleasure elsewhere (porn for a less extreme example) it means it's the woman's fault for not being, I dunno, a porn star?, instead of the guy's responsibility to just own his own actions and what he feels attracted to.

Yeah, I see she really likes him, and I also see that it doesn't seem to stop him from wishing she was someone hotter! How is that her fault? You can't MAKE someone to be attracted to you... They are either, or they aren't.