Why can a girl not be friendly..without leading a man on?

[JadenMia]

Sometimes it seems like i cant be friendly with a man, without him thinking that i am interested?

For example, i will meet a man or just see a man i know.. We will talk and it always seems like men will hit on me. Like.. Cant a woman just meet a man and be friends? Is that really impossible!?
It seems the only male friends i have ever had are all from school..

There is one guy who i have known for a while. He will text now and then saying hello and if i text back he starts asking me on dates and whatnot.. I told him last week i was anything but ready to start seeing anybody so he apologised and i told him i would see him out sometime. He text me yesterday saying hello again, and i text him back thinking we could just be friendly,thinking i had made it clear to him..Next thing he facebooks me asking to take me to out of town for the weekend? So now i have just ignored him...
Can i really not even text a man without him thinking it means i am interested?

It just seems like right now i cant even talk to a guy without them hitting on me or taking my friendliness in the wrong way..It just gets annoying and almost degrading.

My ex told me it was because i came across slutty.. I am not slutty so how can that be!! Ahh so annoying

Can some of you men please clear this up for me?

[Mongoose]

Try wearing a bin bag.

[Nice Lover Boy]

Don't give your number out anymore.
And no, you can't be friends with a guy you just met unless you like him for a future date.

[cheeky&sexy]

Yeah i have this same issue i know u feel. i just cant be mean to guys, even ones i dont like, im just a really nice girl n i dont think i could ever tell someone im not interested. so guys i dont like think i like them but im just playing 'hard to get'.. and guys i actually like well they think i like them more than i do normally. which typically results in having a line of guys im not interested in chasing me. n the guys i do like drift away due to lack of interest cos they know i like them.. which is boring, n they like the girls that keep them guessing and chasing, who tend to be bitches to them. sorry for the mini rant.. this particular issue frustrates me to no end.

back to u and your question.. basically i think with any new guy u are friends with.. unless you're friends due to your circumstances that sorta require u to communicate (such as playing on the same sport team, dating one of your friends, working together, or on say a uni project in a group).. well theyre not viewing u as just a friend. Well in my experience thats what i have seen.. and if u r friends due to your circumstances, if a guy goes out of their way to hang out alone with u or ask u to hang out another time, well thats definately not friendship. Every guy friend that just wants to be friends with me that i have probably ever had, has either had a girlfriend or if he was single, he wouldnt text me unless it was for a reason and not to hang out. they wouldnt just text or call me for no reason. Im sure most girls probably have the same thing, at least for all their relatively close guy friends. It sucks how guys always think if a girl is nice to them that we're probably into them, but i think its just the way theyre wired. Like girls are much more likely to have a single guy friend who they see as just a friend.. compared to guys having single girl friends they just see as a friend. Guys ive noticed only tend to make an effort with girls they just met if they want them.

[Michael Fulmer]

Tricky.

There will always be a reason why 2 people will interact. If you work together, that's a reason. And if 2 strangers decide to interact? Well ... there will be a reason for that, too. And chances are really high that, for men, the reason will be attraction (and quite likely the same for girls, too.) In those circumstances where this is not true, it usually only takes one of you to state clearly your true intentions. But of course, men like a challenge ... :-)

[xxazurexx]

I have had and have the same problem Jaden, which is why I rule friends with men out and I never get too close to them (unless I like them).

I couldn't and can't talk to a guy either and without him asking me out/thinking I may want more. Nothing to do with dressing or acting 'slutty', because I'm far from being a 'tart'. I think that some men have a tendency to read far too much into things, or are hoping our friendliness means more....

You see it in these forums all the time:

'I met this girl, who I have developed feelings for. She smiles at me a lot, will glance at me and says 'hi', if we pass in the corridor...does this mean she has feelings for me too'??

Well duhhhhh...^^^ it's called being 'friendly'......

Just don't talk to them anymore, unless you are interested.....lol

[sadie_genie]

He probably took the "I am not ready to go out with anybody" as "chase me more and maybe I will say yes". My guess is that you are not attracted to him, not that you are not "ready" to go out with anybody. Guys need to be told explicitly about what girls wants. Just tell him "I don't like you more than a friend".

[girl68]

Short answer: yes.

Long answer: sorta kinda, but it depends. Depends on lots: are you single, good looking? Yes? Then no, you can't be "friendly" with men. Sorry, truth be told, guys are going to want to ask you out. You being 'friendly' only encourages this and makes the men think, "yep, I'm open, ask me out". If you married (or otherwise taken) your chances are better to have platonic friendships with men.

Also, meeting men randomly doesn't give you good chances, it *seems* like you're picking them up or inviting them to pick you up.

[VincenzoG91]

I've tried to be friends with women in the past, but my penis tends to get in the way.

[ashley89]

this always happens to me too! I think my problem is just that I'm too nice... I try to be friendly and it comes off as flirtatious, then the guy starts to like me and when I don't feel the same, they turn it back on me and say I led them on when that really wasn't my intention. these days I try to be more upfront, as soon as I start talking to a guy I mention the fact that I recently got out of a relationship and that I want to be single and I'm not looking for anything anytime soon. if that doesn't work then I just discontinue talking to them

[Bo]

You said you told him you are not ready to start seeing people. In translation this means hey, i'm not ready to date atm but later on there's a possibility. YOU are not being straight forward with him. period.

That in no way means, hey buddy we are only friends, don't ask me out on dates.

[Bo]

There's a difference in being a bitch and being straight forward, you are beating around the bush. If you want friendship you need to come out and just say it, men don't take hints well.

[Dan555]

He offered to take you out into town, and you ignored him. I mean, doesn't that sound like a friendly afternoon out? And you just ignored him. . . I'm sure that this guy probably doesn't even know what to think.

[Kaius]

Stop rubbing the guy when you talk to him. Stop doing the flirty laugh/ giggle. Stop being overly friendly to a stranger. Stop acting like you like him.
This is where mixed signals come in. My ex GF did that all the time. I hated it. Girls should learn how to interact with me properly.

[Lixer]

YES - You have to be clear and tell them all you want is a friendship, and nothing more.

"I told him last week i was anything but ready to start seeing anybody"

To some guys that might seem there is still a small chance they can go beyond friendship status. Even if it is sometime further down the road.