Why can a girl not be friendly..without leading a man on?

[ASMD]

The whole top and bottom is, most women do not like to reject and they go about rejecting in the kindest way possible and so as not to hurt feelings...it's just the way we are and I guess that can lead to confusion for guys. What women should say is 'Look...you repulse me, I would never date you in a million years, leave me the fck alone'!!!! LOL

If a woman is into you and I mean a 'woman' not a girl, she will rarely play 'hard to get'. She will be reciprocative of your advances and you would never have to second guess her interest.

A woman who is half hearted or not sure about you, might not make herself as available to you as the really interested woman would and because she's trying to figure it out....that isn't playing hard to get, although it may be perceived that she is. You would know if there was some kind of interest and because she doesn't always make an excuse to cancel your dates and so continue to pursue her if that is what you want to do.

The woman who is totally not into you, will be unavailable and make excuses time after time and to the guy who doesn't appear to be getting the message. I'm unsure why 'no interest' is so difficult for men to read or for you to accept....because I'd know if a guy wasn't interested in me and I'd move on.

See this is where I agree with you (bolded). Because when a girl goes about it nicely, it confuses a guy. I have a perfect example too.

I knew a girl who I had classes with (College) and we always had good conversations. After a couple of classes I would ask her out for a coffee or something, making it harmless because I wanted to actually get to know her better outside of class before even trying to date her. She would always say she had tennis, or had work, ect. Her bestfriend, friend of mine as well said that she was into me, so I figured these were legit excuses, because she did have tennis some days. One day after chatting to her on FB she changes her status to "What is a nice way to tell someone to F*^% off? Some people jsut dont get it" I thought to myself it might be about me, even though her bestfriend said straight up she was into me. Turns out I was right and she actually didnt want anything to do with me. Women need to straight up tell a guy, "F*&^ OFF, I WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"

[xxazurexx]

^^See what you mean. But, regardless of the fact she said she was into you, yet was constantly making excuses should have rang alarm bells for you that she 'wasn't interested. You should 'never' take notice of words, but ACTIONS.....and she was taking no action that pointed to her being into you.

You see, if this was some guy with me and he was claiming to like me, etc, but his words were not meeting his actions, I'd write him off pronto. A lot will make excuses for certain behaviour, but I don't. I know 'clearly' when a guy is into me and when he isn't.

[Regnent]

Or you all need to 'back off' and quit assuming that every woman on the planet might want you.

We're not that egotistical. We want you.

We don't need to back off. If you're single, and you have a vagina, you're open season. Is that very hard to understand?

You could always stick to married, or otherwise 'claimed' men, but that can be even uglier.

There's always the fall back of gay guys.

Stick to women for friends. You want male company, get in a relationship.

[Regnent]

yet was constantly making excuses should have rang alarm bells for you that she 'wasn't interested. You should 'never' take notice of words, but ACTIONS.....and she was taking no action that pointed to her being into you.

That's the problem, the excuses. We could -assume- that any unavailability is rejection, but then, we'd never get anywhere. There's always reasons why someone doesn't have time.

How about, instead of saying 'I've got tennis', you say, 'No, thank you.'.

Is there some reason you feel the need to be kind about it? 'No, thank you' is far from being rude or mean. It's being clear. If a guy then chooses to ask 'Why', then by all means, you can say 'Because I'm not interested in you'. It's still not rude or mean. He -asked-.

If there's one thing that really irritates me about women is that getting a straight, simple answer is nearly impossible.

I would personally far prefer being told 'No, I'm not interested', then to waste my time because I don't read subtle.


With that said, I have no doubt that if some of us wern't so thick headed, and hard all the time, we might have better chances of reading women.
Although, I don't know about other men, and even women in general, but we're raised to keep trying. I was never raised to take a maybe. If you want something, you go for it, even if it is hard to get.

[xxazurexx]

We're not that egotistical. We want you.

We don't need to back off. If you're single, and you have a vagina, you're open season. Is that very hard to understand?

You could always stick to married, or otherwise 'claimed' men, but that can be even uglier.

There's always the fall back of gay guys.

Stick to women for friends. You want male company, get in a relationship.

Like I said, I have no qualms about them approaching.

What pisses me off is the man who won't fck off and reads into my ignoring him as 'playing hard to get'....Some of you need to get over yourselves and accept that when a woman isn't showing any sign of interest, it means 'NOT' interested...not 'chase me harder'.

If 'no interest' is easy for me to read, why is it difficult for males to read it. I actually don't think it is hard to read for males....their egos will just not accept that a woman may not be interested, hence why some continue to pursue. And I'm a lesbian if I keep on refusing...

As for excuses, well I long ago quit making excuses....now I just ignore and keep on ignoring. If they are too dense to get it, that is there problem not mine. No man has ever had to spell it out to me and if he's not interested...I'm capable of reading actions and signs, that quite clearly say 'not' interested.

[Regnent]

What pisses me off is the man who won't fck off and reads into my ignoring him as 'playing hard to get'....Some of you need to get over yourselves and accept that when a woman isn't showing any sign of interest, it means 'NOT' interested...not 'chase me harder'.

Some women play hard to get. Some women play games. Yet, you expect us to be able to tell the difference?

So don't ignore, tell. It's not difficult.

[ASMD]

As stated earlier, we need to make all women who are in no way interested in us, tell us "F*&^ OFF, I WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!"

[xxazurexx]

Some women play hard to get. Some women play games. Yet, you expect us to be able to tell the difference?

So don't ignore, tell. It's not difficult.

If you are ever having to 'second guess', trust me she aint interested and you'd be wise moving on.

[Regnent]

If you are ever having to 'second guess', trust me she aint interested and you'd be wise moving on.

Sorry, those of us with less than player experiance 2nd guess everything about women.

[SelflessnHumble]

Maybe i do need to just be more straight up.. I have been pretty truthful though i said i dont want to get into anything with anyone for a long time the first time he started talking to me.. And then he cooled it off.. The next time he asked me to hang out i said again, look it seems like your asking me on a date and i have said no and dont want too and only ever want to be FRIENDS.

You still didn't do it right. See that? Why don't you listen to what I just told you?

I have been ignoring him everytime he has text or called since.. And then he ends up showing up at my work.

Obviously what you're doing isn't working...
He doesn't take you seriously. Probably because you're exceptionally beautiful AND so naive.

I work as a cashier in the only superstore in town here so its hard to stay away from him.. lol
The next time he texts i will say i am not attracted to him in any way shape or form.. See how that goes down

(Cue Chef Ramsey's voice) NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

And i do like male attention usually.. Not right now though to be honest, i pretty much ignore every call or text i get from any man.. I just cant be bothered with men at the minute. lol

Wise man say: In order to avoid a text from a man: you must first give him your number

My point being really its just annoying i cant be simply friendly to the opposite sex without them trying something. And its not that i intentionally go out to meet men either.. I dont really NEED male friends, It would just be nice to have a friendship with a man. thats all..
Thanks for everybodies input

You find him annoying yet you don't have the fortitude to tell him face to face?

Why would it be nice to have a friendship with a man? This is a red flag.
You don't cite a reason. It sounds as though you "NEED" a man's attention.

You don't need a friendship with a man: you WANT one.
This is a big mistake and it's not the man's fault. It's yours for wanting it. Period.

It's because you're so sweet, you don't get the message across because you gave this
no-hint taking creepy stalker psycho dude: the time of day. (whereas every other woman out there did not)

He possibly views you as "special." (in addition to being naive and cute)

One of my good friends in high school also couldn't stop wanting male friends.
She picked the wrong one to befriend and is now resting in peace at Rose Hills' Cemetary -dead at age 19-

[xxazurexx]

Sorry, those of us with less than player experiance 2nd guess everything about women.

lol, in that case you would be wise to heed the advice of those 'older and more experienced' than you are.

[Regnent]

lol, in that case you would be wise to heed the advice of those 'older and more experienced' than you are.

Oh hell, if I knew what I know about women now, 15 years ago...

Regardless, you bitch at men being men, yet you insist on being a girl. (By not stepping up and saying 'Not interested')

[vashti]

We're not that egotistical. We want you.

We don't need to back off. If you're single, and you have a vagina, you're open season. Is that very hard to understand?

You could always stick to married, or otherwise 'claimed' men, but that can be even uglier.

There's always the fall back of gay guys.

Stick to women for friends. You want male company, get in a relationship.

This advice bums me out. I want to hang out with the pharmacy guy at work because he knows how to fish, and I want to learn. "Women's" activities are less fun. I am sick of drinking coffee, going out to eat, and shopping. How can I get him to hang out with me without trying to put his hands up my shirt?

[Regnent]

This advice bums me out. I want to hang out with the pharmacy guy at work because he knows how to fish, and I want to learn. "Women's" activities are less fun. I am sick of drinking coffee, going out to eat, and shopping. How can I get him to hang out with me without trying to put his hands up my shirt?

I totally get what you're saying.
Honestly, I think it would be a game of Russian Roulette. I guess it really depends on whether he has, or might have any type of attraction.

I can't speak for every guy here, but as long as I'm around something I find attractive, my mind -will- wander into fantasy land. Doesn't mean I would make a move, but personally, it's a risky situation for me. (I'm married, and chances are, I'd never let myself get into that situation, I don't trust myself -that- much)

Add in a common interest, and well....

That's where I get my advise from.

You might go through many fishing partners before finding one with little or no tension. (Unless you're butt ugly, hate to say it, but it does improve your chances)

[vashti]

I totally get what you're saying.
Honestly, I think it would be a game of Russian Roulette. I guess it really depends on whether he has, or might have any type of attraction.

He's interested. Dammit. I told him I wasn't really up for dating/boyfriends, etc. (I have a kid who is going to have neurosurgery soon!) But yeah, he's still interested.

I should have gone fishing sooner, dammit.