Regreting dumping her.....

[man0nthemoon]

Hey all Im new here and this kind of forums is exaclty what I was looking for.

So, this has been the longest, one of the harderst, saddest weeks of my life and I can't get over it. Reason? I broke up with my girl on Monday. We had been dating for ~5 months now, so not boyfriend/girl yet though. Things were going great in the relationship. We were both virgins, sexual tension was off the charts and with the help of alchohol we practically had sex friday before the Monday I broke it off. Something I feel guilty for, something Im sooo mad over. Losing our virginity while intoxicated, how special. Something I will probably regret for the rest of my life. But its over now.

Reason I broke up with her was because the day after everything got crazy and we had intercourse. She wanted a break from me, she told me she was falling for me way too fast and was getting scared. She needed to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.

When she first told me she needed time away from me, she said it could take up to a month to figure things out. I was so caught off guard, and was pretty hurt and angry. I didint know how to react, we had sex. Wasant special or magical but something that I thought made us closer. Guess I was wrong. So I kept thinking to myself, why all the sudden change of heart? She mad for letting herself get to sex? Or does she really like/love me and need time to think?

So Monday I asked her, whats going on? Why all the sudden change? She started giving me attitude over the phone, like a b*tchy sound I had never heard from her. Like I was a little kid. Might of been on her period? I dont know. Demanding that she didint want to see me. At all costs. Made me feel like I had cheated on her or worse. Lost and confused I got so pissed because, What did I do wrong? So I told her, you know what if you can't give me a solid answer to why you need a break. Im done. Good luck in life. Bye. I hung up.

Now that I've had couple days to think things over. I feel so bad for some reason. Like this is all my fault, she's the one who wanted the break. Im so against breaks, whats the point? I get it if a couple has been in a relationship for 2+ years, but we been together for 5 months. I've been sooo tempted to text her but I can't get myself to do it. I want to just move on and forget her. But deep down, everything was so great till friday night. No fights, no drama, a girl I could see myself for a very LONG time. And it ended all of a sudden. :/

Should I text her or ask her to lunch? If I contact her first, wont it look like I was at fault here. She was the one who caused all of this. Or did I over react and should have given her the time she wanted. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Dont know what to do. And I know her she's the kind of girl who wont initiate ANYTHING expects the guy to do it. Whcih I dont mind, its a custom she has from her country.

[myno84]

If you definately want to be with her you need to contact her, otherwise it will just fade out. The reason you broke up is due to a lack of communication from both of you. You need to be open with each other and tell each other how you feel, talk about your fears and what you want from the relationship. Because you haven't been open with one another you have both got frustrated and angry at each other resulting in you arguing.

Now, the sex thing. This is no big deal, you lost your virginity to someone you cared about and trusted, I wouldn't worry about it not being magical, the first time rarely is! The sex gets much better after the first time trust me, thats when it counts!

You need to text her, meet for lunch and tell her exactly how you feel, be totally open and honest with her and get her to do the same. If you both want to be together you need to know where you stand with one another and be completely open, otherwise you will just get frustrated and end up arguing because you are leaving each other guessing!

Do this and it will all work out! Let me know how you get on!

[devonbrown]

I am sorry that you are feeling bad. That often happens when a relationship ends, no matter what the cause. One quick question though:

We were both virgins, sexual tension was off the charts and with the help of alchohol we practically had sex friday before the Monday I broke it off.

What does "Practically had sex" mean?

Anyway, trust me when I say that after a breakup at least one of the parties does not understand why things went wrong. And honestly, you may never find out. That is something that only time and distance will help.

I would avoid calling her or texting her. It sounds like it would best if you moved on.

Good luck.