What to do?

[gman796]

I recently broke up with my girlfriend about 3 weeks ago. We dated a little over 3 months, and I enjoyed being with her and she also felt the same. Well the third month I started working more, had school work, and I started to spend less to hardly no time with her. I started losing interest then and when I actually had time to spend with her I would just sleep. Well one weekend she had a concert to sing in at school and she really wanted me to go, well I couldnt make it because I had a club conference out of town. When I got back she called me crying and thought we should break up. Well I agreed with her and so we did. Well about a week after she called me and said a guy really liked her at work and she kinda liked him and ask me if it would hurt me if she went off with him. Well I don't have no control over her so I said no I didnt care. I really wanted her to be happy because Im the one that let the relationship fail. Well I care about her so much because she is the only girl that I have really connected with, the rest were basically just to have one and wouldnt last maybe a month. We decided before we broke up that we were going to be friends because we cared about each other so much we had to have some kind of relationship. Well recently I have been wanting to see her, just go to her house and spend some time with her. Well the last two times she would always say she was busy or was about to do something. The first time I asked her, I was like ok thats cool. But the second time just hurt my feelings and it turned into anger so I called her back asking what the deal was. She said she was scared to see me again because she still wasnt over me, and she didnt want to start liking me all over again. We tell each other on the phone sometimes we miss each other. I dont want to go back out with her, but its just like tonight for example. I called her and she said she was getting dressed to go out to eat with her new guy and she would talk to me later. Well she hasnt called me back and it just makes me so mad. Its like I agreed to break up and Im not even over her. She makes me so mad when she doesnt call me back. The way she talks about her new bf, it doesnt seem like they have a strong relationship. I want to stop caring, and stop getting mad when she doesnt give me attention that I want. I dont deserve any attention from her at all really. Sometimes I think about just not ever talking to her again when she hurts my feelings which she doesnt mean too, I mean I hurt her feelings too sometimes. God I typed all of this and I dont even know if I got the point around, I just dont know what to do.

[mint]

That's exactly what happened to me and my ex 3 months ago. He was really busy with work, and during that time whenever I wanted to talk to him, he always said he's sleepy, tired, and wanted to go to sleep. I was trying to understand him, put up with it for sometime. At the end we broke up..he dumped me. Probably becuz during that time we didn't have enough communication...and didn't get to see each other much. Just like u, he also kinda lost interest. Told me that he didn't love me as much anymore. This hurt me a lot. In your case, I think both of u still like each other. U seem kind of jealous that she's with the other guy. So if u think that u still like her, then maybe talk to her and sort things out?

[gman796]

Yea, she says she is trying to get over me and she thought her new guy friend would get me off her mind. I just really want to see her, I kinda feel like theres some unfinished business and that we should talk about some stuff in person. Its been a month since I have seen her and have made two attempts to see her but have failed. I dont want to keep on begging, so I wonder if I should try maybe one more time or just let her invite me one day(which would probably never happen).

[sfalexi]

When I got back she called me crying and thought we should break up. Well I agreed with her and so we did. Well about a week after she called me and said a guy really liked her at work and she kinda liked him and ask me if it would hurt me if she went off with him. Well I don't have no control over her so I said no I didnt care.

So far it looks like you made your bed . . . and . . .

Well recently I have been wanting to see her, just go to her house and spend some time with her. Well the last two times she would always say she was busy or was about to do something. The first time I asked her, I was like ok thats cool. But the second time just hurt my feelings and it turned into anger so I called her back asking what the deal was.

. . .let me just make sure . . .

I dont want to go back out with her, but its just like tonight for example. I called her and she said she was getting dressed to go out to eat with her new guy and she would talk to me later. Well she hasnt called me back and it just makes me so mad. Its like I agreed to break up and Im not even over her. She makes me so mad when she doesnt call me back. The way she talks about her new bf, it doesnt seem like they have a strong relationship. I want to stop caring, and stop getting mad when she doesnt give me attention that I want. I dont deserve any attention from her at all really. Sometimes I think about just not ever talking to her again when she hurts my feelings which she doesnt mean too, I mean I hurt her feelings too sometimes.

Yes. As I suspected, you're refusing to lie in it.

You broke up with her. You don't want her back, yet you're upset that you're not getting her attention and that she's trying to move on? Hmmm . . . . issues . . . . .

[gman796]

Exactly, maybe I am jealous she already has someone else. But a week after we broke up she already started talking to someone else.

[sfalexi]

That's exactly what it sounds like. You're jealous that she was able to move on so quickly. But you ALSO have to move on.