I'm confused...again

[^sunshine^]

Okay...A few months ago I posted a thread here about me trying to decide whether I should go out with a guy I liked or stay with the person I was with. Well, I did the second part and I don't regret a thing. It's been five months since I am with him and everything is going amazing.
However, I have a big problem with myself. Long time ago, almost a year, I had a huge crush on a guy named Simon. At first I thought he was just a cocky prick that goes for anything in skirt (yeah, I know it sounds bad lol). But as the time was passing by, I understood that he's not like that at all. I felt some kind of attraction between us but I was never sure that he liked me. On the other hand, he seemed like the ultimate bad boy and I tend to be a good girl so I thought we would have a lot of differences between us. That didn't stop me from asking him out one day though...I knew he had a fiance but I thought that they weren't together because he caught her cheating on him twice!!! But after almost a year that we've been friends, I just wanted to know if something will happen or not. So nothing happened, he told me he has a fiance and that he was thinking about asking me out several times but he's just not that type of guy. Anyways, we continued going out in the same company and nothing changed...It actually became more intense now that we knew we liked each other, we found that we have a lot in common. I thought that he would see that his girl was no good for him, so I didn't stop hoping. And that happened!! A month ago...I was already in a relationship and things were getting pretty serious and they still are. I'm in love with my boyfriend. Being with him gives me the best feeling ever. And I have never felt more secure, more loved and more appreciated by anyone else.
So here's the problem...I love my boyfriend but I still have this huge crush for Simon. And he said to me that he has a crush on me too and I just want to go out with him. I want to see what it would be like to spend some time alone and talk about anything. Because we always have something to talk about and it's always funny and amusing when he's around me But I am also scared that I might like Simon a lot.
I would really appreciate other opinions on the situation because I feel confused..A lot!

[ASMD]

You're in quite a situation. Life is all about choices after all. My recommendation would be to tell you boyfriend you need a break. This doesnt mean during this break to find out how Simon is. I would actually think to use this break to self reflect. You seem to be around them both a lot, and maybe some time by yourself will help you think of what your really want. If you can go away from everything. If your parents live somewhere far away, go see them for a week. Gives you a good reason for you to have some alone time.

[^sunshine^]

Thank you!
Yes, life is all about choices. But every single decision in situations like this one leaves someone hurt. And the least I want to do is hurt my boyfriend...I love him and I don't want to see him hurt and I know he will be if I go out with Simon...
So I guess my choice is already done then - I'm going to stay with my boyfriend and try not to see the other guy that often..."Far from the eyes, far from the heart" they say

[steviej]

Forget simon, work on getting a spark back with your boyfriend! Dress up sexy for him, do more things together, put some spice back into the relationship! Don't just be all comfortable and secure...you will get bored.

[^sunshine^]

Actually I'm not at all comfortable with the way we are right now..But I can't do anything about it.
Me and my boyfriend, we were seeing each other every single day for half an hour when I finish work and he has a break, because he used to work like 5 minutes from mine. Then I proposed we should see each other on sundays because we were both free and he agreed. Then I told him that we should find more time to spend with each other. He answered that everything will change and that I just have to be patient. Well, it did change but for worse - now it's been like 2 months since he was not needed at his work (construction) and all this time, I've been doing all my best to keep him coming to my place on sundays. I said I've been doing, because I give him money almost all the time...He says he doesn't have at all and he doesn't want to ask his mom or dad and 2 months ago, he said this again...That everything will be ok, I just have to be patient.
I love him..And I've been waiting for this change for 5 months and never got it. I'm kind of loosing my patience and strength.
Besides, I just found out that he's been lying to me for a girl...He said he doesn't talk to her anymore and I understood he thought I wouldn't mind him answering back her texts and that she was just a friend until she started texting me and calling me names. He said they were just talking about normal stuff...And that he hates her now. And that's the girl we always had a fight about so how could he possibly think I wouldn't have any problem???
I don't know what to do...I think I don't trust him anymore...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

If you don't trust him then leave him. If you have such a big crush on Simon, then you don't love your boyfriend as much as you claim. Do what's right for everyone and end this relationship. ASDM's suggestion is asinine, don't take a break, breaks are bullshit and even if they weren't you wouldn't be doing it to "self reflect".

[^sunshine^]

Well yes I do love my boyfriend...Having a crush on Simon doesn't affect my feelings for my boyfriend. Besides, I don't know Simon that well. Yes we do have things in common but I don't believe that anything could happen. He's back with his fiance and I don't go for guys that are taken.

[Inivisiblewar]

Sunshine my ex and I are sort of in the same situation as you. I love her and she loves me, but we had problems and we are split. She loves me dearly, but likes someone else is spending alot of time with him. I understand due to our break up and some things i've done she is upset. So I get that he makes her happy because there are no problems. I don't understand how you can love and like someone at the same time though. Mabye you should consider spending some less time with your boyfriend. See if he tries to make the effort to see you. If not take a break from it. Show him what he is missing. Love is hard and our emotions are a war. Hope all ends up well for you!

[^sunshine^]

Simon broke up with his girl. We saw each other today and we had a long, honest talk.. I explained to him that I like him but I'm in love with my boyfriend and that I don't intend on doing anything as long as I'm in a relationship. He said that he's not the kind of guy that just goes and steals someone's girl; he said he still feels the same way for me and he wants me to be happy. He even tried to make me smile and laugh a couple of times because I was a little bit sad today (I have family problems) and he's always saying that I have a beautiful smile. I ended up crying and he hugged me. I know I shouldn't have let him hug me but I just needed a hug; I needed someone to tell me that everything's gonna be fine and he did that. Although I know nothing's fine...
And Invisiblewar, you can love and like at the same time. Example, I love chocolate - I eat it a lot and I adore its taste. It's my favorite thing to eat. But I also like fruit, ice cream and wafers. My point is, I love chocolate but I also like ice cream and sometimes it's hard to decide which one to eat