Do any ladies agree?

**xxazurexx** · 16-03-11, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by vertical_sky

I am coming late to the game, but for me personally, sometimes I don't respond to messages not because the guy isn't attractive, but because there just aren't enough hours in the day (and I still have hopes of an ex, but that is an entirely separate thread.)

That isn't to imply I am all that and a bag of chips.... I've just observed that guys on average are a lot more flippant about sending messages. I have SO many messages in my inbox from guys who write nothing except "Hey." That's it... just "hey." Or "Your cute." (Huge personal turn-off: being unable to differentiate between you're and your.) Even when I delete these messages without opening them up, it's still a time waster. Then there are the messages from guys who don't pass my filter... for instance, on OKCupid, they 1) live outside the area I specify 2) are older than what I stipulated I like and 3) are a 60% match with me on a good day. And yet they still message me! That says to me they don't actually like ME, they're just a message-sending machine to anything that says "female."

Unfortunately, the messages from guys I AM well matched with AND I find attractive get lost among all the awful. Sometimes I'm able to dig them out, but sometimes I don't check my mail for a month, and then only have the energy to respond to the top 5 messages (AFTER cleaning up all the junk.)

So it has absolutely nothing to do with physical attractiveness, and much more to do with having to wade through the messages of muck from guys who think online dating = desperate = I don't have to try = easy hookup!

That said, if a guy's photo is off, his profile has to be pretty darn amazing for me to respond. When I say "off," I don't necessarily mean physical attractiveness.... I mean 1) he stands super far away from the camera 2) all of his photos are from bars and parties 3) his main photo or most of his photos are him with his arm around a gorgeous woman (even if she's your sister, crop her out.) 4) He's striking a "bro" stance/gesture.

Photos that will immediately enhance a guy's physical attractiveness: 1) Him with nieces or nephews (in my deep insecure moments, I was jealous of how my ex lavished so much attention and love on his niece, but DAMN if they weren't absolutely adorable together) 2) travel pictures 3) doing an interesting hobby 4) doing something nerdy/funny (I saw a guy's profile back in October where he was dressed as Darkwing Duck. I messaged him THAT INSTANT.)

A good photo is one that enhances your physical attractiveness by bringing out your personality.

Good post. You said everything I would have said and if I'd gone into detail....

One difference though, men with pics with children, makes me think 'married' 'partnered'...or 'baggage' and unless stated who these kids are. Men showing a pic cuddling a baby, or his pet dog doesn't appeal to me. Obviously some men think all women are suckers for babies and dogs and I reckon some show these pics to play on womens emotions thinking they will get more response....kinda also smells of 'desperate' and 'lonely' when he cuddles a dog...

The following would get an instant delete....even if he looked like Brad Pitt.

Men with photos in a bar or holding a pint of beer.
Unclear facial features/standing a mile away from the cam.
Men who say 'Hey Sexy', 'Hey', Hi', Wot u up too' 'How u doin', Hey gawwwjuzz'.
A man using a sexually explicit username or who sends a sexually explicit message.
Men with babies/animals.
Men surrounded by women/or one woman.
Men surrounded by lots of other men - how am I supposed to know which one is 'him' and expecially if he doesn't have other pics.
Men with no shirt on, half naked pics.
Men who pose like Tarzan.
Men wearing 'dorky' costumes, like dressed as a chicken, superman outfit, etc. I have a sense of humour, but there is a difference between sense of humour and making an idiot of oneself.
Men who are too muscly...
Bald men
Men who wear a hat....they are probably hiding a bald head.
Men under 28
Men over 40

LOL....that about left no one and on the site I'd go on!! And on the site I frequented, you got a lot of this ^^^^^

**Take2** · 16-03-11, 08:43 PM

Azure, we have similar lists. Except I would have been willing to consider a bald guy...but would NOT consider a guy with no college degree, or a guy who had never been married. And I was leaning toward automatically disqualifying guys who had no kids. I found 11 guys in 3 months who met all my criteria (well, 1 was bald and only 6 had kids) and progressed to at least a request for a first date (I had to turn down 3 as I decided to be exclusive with my current bf). And I am not any good at the whole dating game. What site were you on?

**xxazurexx** · 16-03-11, 09:03 PM

^^I'm just not into bald guys, even though I do think some are attractive. I prefer a guy with hair. Also if he appeared to be a 'bum', as in living off state benefits, it's an instant delete also...
Living with mum and at the age I'd specify, between 28 and 40, would be a delete also. Not being married before and into his 30's, would also make me wonder why? And the kids thing, I agree. At my age I want no more kids and so I'd prefer if a guy already had them and he was looking to have no more.

The site I went on was a free one, a chat and flirt site called Flirtomatic. It used to be just a UK site, but then it went worldwide and now there are members from the USA, Australia, etc on it.

**doppelgaenger** · 17-03-11, 01:17 AM

Why was he banned? He didn't seem to do anything wrong.

**xxazurexx** · 17-03-11, 02:17 AM

Originally Posted by doppelgaenger

Why was he banned? He didn't seem to do anything wrong.

I was wondering the same, lol. Maybe his IP showed as being that of a previous troll perhaps?

**UnknownSld03** · 17-03-11, 02:57 AM

Asking about me? They banned my account till tomorrow for posting a picture of an ex girlfriend. It was a stupid reason to be honest.

**girl68** · 17-03-11, 03:06 AM

You have no right posting a public picture for this forum to see. You're an idiot if you thought that was acceptable. Have some respect for her privacy.

**UnknownSld03** · 17-03-11, 03:24 AM

Originally Posted by girl68

You have no right posting a public picture for this forum to see. You're an idiot if you thought that was acceptable. Have some respect for her privacy.

Blah blah blah, shut up. She has no respect for her own privacy, she really is a whore. If your going to do a threesome with two people, none of whom are the guy you are dating, you are a whore. If you are going to invite a guy from Texas to come to Florida just to have sex while your boyfriend is at work, YOU ARE A WHORE. Not to mention wanting to be a stripper, porn star, enjoy skinny dipping in front of random people, enjoy having sex while hundreds of people can see. That makes you a whore. If she can not respect herself, why the hell should anyone respect her.

As far as you go girl68, SHUT THE **** UP. If you do not like anything that I do, then do not read or respond to anything I post. It is that simple.

**vertical_sky** · 17-03-11, 03:31 AM

Originally Posted by UnknownSld03

Blah blah blah, shut up. She has no respect for her own privacy, she really is a whore. If your going to do a threesome with two people, none of whom are the guy you are dating, you are a whore. If you are going to invite a guy from Texas to come to Florida just to have sex while your boyfriend is at work, YOU ARE A WHORE. Not to mention wanting to be a stripper, porn star, enjoy skinny dipping in front of random people, enjoy having sex while hundreds of people can see. That makes you a whore. If she can not respect herself, why the hell should anyone respect her.

Whore/slut or not, she still has every right to her privacy, which means NOT having her ex-boyfriend post pictures of her online. How would you feel if an ex of yours posted pictures of you online, making fun of you for being x, y and z? You'd feel violated, so why do it to another human being?

It is not out of line for Girl68 to say that you being banned was appropriate when you cross a serious privacy line like posting pictures of someone you were once intimate with on a public forum. Whore, ex-girlfriend or not, she still has a right to be treated like a human being, and a human being has a right to privacy.

**doppelgaenger** · 17-03-11, 03:35 AM

Originally Posted by UnknownSld03

Blah blah blah, shut up. She has no respect for her own privacy, she really is a whore. If your going to do a threesome with two people, none of whom are the guy you are dating, you are a whore. If you are going to invite a guy from Texas to come to Florida just to have sex while your boyfriend is at work, YOU ARE A WHORE. Not to mention wanting to be a stripper, porn star, enjoy skinny dipping in front of random people, enjoy having sex while hundreds of people can see. That makes you a whore. If she can not respect herself, why the hell should anyone respect her.

As far as you go girl68, SHUT THE **** UP. If you do not like anything that I do, then do not read or respond to anything I post. It is that simple.

I have a feeling that the girl mods who temp banned you were looking for an excuse to get rid of you.

This kind of behavior is giving them more excuses...

**girl68** · 17-03-11, 03:41 AM

FYI: I ain't the mod how banned you.

**Sonrisa** · 17-03-11, 04:13 AM

I dont even know who he is

**doppelgaenger** · 17-03-11, 04:17 AM

Originally Posted by Sonrisa

I dont even know who he is

Of course you don't. He's "unknown" Sid.

Ahh.... the beauty of language.

**bloodtippedrose** · 17-03-11, 06:52 AM

Holy crap girl68 is a mod? *high five!

**xxazurexx** · 17-03-11, 07:20 AM

Whoever he was, he had a big gob...

Thread: Do any ladies agree?

Thread Tools

Similar Threads

Do You Agree

agree and move on?

would you agree ?

I agree completley

Posting Permissions