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Thread: Abandonment Issues?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
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    Female
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    North Wales, UK
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    6

    Abandonment Issues?

    Hey, I just want some advice about a problem I have.
    Me and my boyfriend have a great relationship, we talk openly,have lots of hugs and kisses, see each other every day..
    If he wants time to himself, thats fine with me, we just have a short phone call at some point
    I dont worry about him going off with other women, and I dont look at his phone. I also tell him that he can look at my texts and call lists if he wishes to do so.
    Female friends? fine with me
    and yet, If he is late to meet me up after college, or anything like that, I freak and I end up having a panic attack, thinking over and over that he hates me and wants to leave me. I worry if I am a good girlfriend or not, and I worry that one day he might just up and leave, I have no basis to think these things.. but they still haunt my head.
    I have been told I have Borderline Personality Disorder traits by a psyciatrist.
    I just want to get over these thoughts, but Its hard to. Its not just my boyfriend I panic about, its my friends,my family... anyone I care about really. I also worry that my friends dont actually like me, as well as I worry that I annoy them all the time :/

    Any advice anyone? Please?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    Seattle WA
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    1,752
    Psychiatrists are drug pushers, you need to see a PSYCHOLOGIST, which deals more with behavioral issues. You have serious self worth issues that can not even begin to be scratched at on an online forum.

    My advise is to stop labeling yourself which is just finding excuses, its your mind and your body that you are in control of and you will end up losing your boyfriend if you are constantly doubting yourself. You need to look at what you've done in your life that makes you unique, what skills you have to offer and what you can do that no one else can and realize that any guy you choose to be with is lucky to have you just as much as you are to have them. They wouldn't be with you if you didnt attract them with your looks or personality or humor or whatever in the first place! You need to take what youre good at and use it to your advantage and if you think that theres something wrong with you then work on it! If you think you cry too much then realize when youre doing it and stop yourself. If you think youre ugly then get a cute haircut or get your eyebrows threaded or something to better yourself instead of wallow in self pity. A psychologist can definitely help you along the way though if you can afford it.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    Florida
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    74
    Quote Originally Posted by bloodtippedrose View Post
    Psychiatrists are drug pushers, you need to see a PSYCHOLOGIST, which deals more with behavioral issues. You have serious self worth issues that can not even begin to be scratched at on an online forum.

    My advise is to stop labeling yourself which is just finding excuses, its your mind and your body that you are in control of and you will end up losing your boyfriend if you are constantly doubting yourself. You need to look at what you've done in your life that makes you unique, what skills you have to offer and what you can do that no one else can and realize that any guy you choose to be with is lucky to have you just as much as you are to have them. They wouldn't be with you if you didnt attract them with your looks or personality or humor or whatever in the first place! You need to take what youre good at and use it to your advantage and if you think that theres something wrong with you then work on it! If you think you cry too much then realize when youre doing it and stop yourself. If you think youre ugly then get a cute haircut or get your eyebrows threaded or something to better yourself instead of wallow in self pity. A psychologist can definitely help you along the way though if you can afford it.
    I agree ^^ I would also suggest finding someone to talk to about it. Have you tried to sit down and talk to your bf about it?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Male
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    126
    I would advise against talking to your boyfriend. You already said he has given nothing to make you not trust him. The way you presented it, it sounds like yours fears stem from unrealistic fears of abandonment. There is nothing he can do to make you feel more secure, if you refuse to feel more secure(I know it isn't conscious). Telling him is most likely going to burden him and lead to strain on the relationship in the long run. Trustworthy partners deserve to be trusted.

    Is there a reason reason you felt like your parents would abandon you? Did they ever abandon you or threaten abandonment by words or actions?

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