I slapped my boyfriend.

[in.these.arms]

I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend. Everytime we get into an argument he leaves me for the night and goes to his parents. This has been a huge issue for me as I'm relating it to abandonment and distrust in him. We have talked about it, he's aware of how it makes me feel but has continued to do it. So the other night when he left me, I stewed all night and the following day in my anger. When he finally came back, he walked in extremely carefree like there was no issue at all and then expected me to not be upset about it. One thing led to another and I ended up slapping him and telling him to get out. I have since apologized for my behavior and regret doing it, and want him back. He has not answered any of my calls or responded to any messages. He has a very prideful personality and I'm worried I'm gunna lose him. Any advice on how I can make it up to him but also stand my ground on him always leaving me?

[vashti]

You might consider enrolling yourself in some anger management program... not for him really, but for yourself.

[DoesntMatter]

Tell him you feel bad about it and want him to slap you back so you're even.

Then let him know you want that slap to be on the ass. Lift up your skirt and turn around, propose your ass to him.

In other words, turn it into something positive.

[IncognitoSir]

Man thats a tough one. Slapping a man in the face carries a lot more pain besides the physical side. That's a VERY serious form of disrespect. I'd explode in anger if my gf slapped me lol. Your best bet is probably giving him some space and let him come to you when he's ready to talk about it. That might be a deal breaker for me in a relationship. Kinda pisses me off just thinking about it right now.

[doppelgaenger]

Yes, anger management and anal sex seem to be the solution to your problems.

[Regnent]

I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend. Everytime we get into an argument he leaves me for the night and goes to his parents. This has been a huge issue for me as I'm relating it to abandonment and distrust in him. We have talked about it, he's aware of how it makes me feel but has continued to do it. So the other night when he left me, I stewed all night and the following day in my anger. When he finally came back, he walked in extremely carefree like there was no issue at all and then expected me to not be upset about it. One thing led to another and I ended up slapping him and telling him to get out. I have since apologized for my behavior and regret doing it, and want him back. He has not answered any of my calls or responded to any messages. He has a very prideful personality and I'm worried I'm gunna lose him. Any advice on how I can make it up to him but also stand my ground on him always leaving me?

You really need to understand that when someone leaves a hostile environment, it's an oportunity to stop fighting, and think about how to deal with it.
Your response was to get into -another- fight. You didn't even get the 1st one resolved.

You don't need to stand your ground on him leaving. You need to stand your ground on getting a resolution to the fight(s).

[vashti]

I'm trying to imagine any circumstance that would tempt me to actually hit another person, especially on the face. I honestly can't think of any. I understand you feel bad about what you've done, but if I were talking to your boyfriend, I would advise him to get rid of you. Sorry.

[in.these.arms]

Man thats a tough one. Slapping a man in the face carries a lot more pain besides the physical side. That's a VERY serious form of disrespect. I'd explode in anger if my gf slapped me lol. Your best bet is probably giving him some space and let him come to you when he's ready to talk about it. That might be a deal breaker for me in a relationship. Kinda pisses me off just thinking about it right now.

Right...you would explode in anger due to disrespect. And that's exactly what I did after he has disrespected me so many times in leaving me every time an argument comes up. He doesn't leave to cool off, he packs alllll his shit up on his own and then decides to come back but yet he's more prideful than before. So this time was the last straw and "I exploded in anger"...I know slapping wasn't the right reaction, but I had so much pent up anger over the disrespect I felt.

[in.these.arms]

You really need to understand that when someone leaves a hostile environment, it's an oportunity to stop fighting, and think about how to deal with it.
Your response was to get into -another- fight. You didn't even get the 1st one resolved.

You don't need to stand your ground on him leaving. You need to stand your ground on getting a resolution to the fight(s).

He doesn't leave a hostible enviornment to stop fighting and cool off....because he packs all his stuff every single time, and then comes back the next day with more pride than before. I have stood my groud repeatedly on getting a resolution to fights...we talk about it eventually, and he realizes what needs to change or improve but when the next fight comes along, it's the same thing. So I guess I've tried as much as I can.

[doppelgaenger]

Right...you would explode in anger due to disrespect. And that's exactly what I did after he has disrespected me so many times in leaving me every time an argument comes up. He doesn't leave to cool off, he packs alllll his shit up on his own and then decides to come back but yet he's more prideful than before. So this time was the last straw and "I exploded in anger"...I know slapping wasn't the right reaction, but I had so much pent up anger over the disrespect I felt.

This reminds me so much of my last relationship that it makes me sick.

If you're seriously arguing all the time to the point where he feels like packing up and moving out, then sorry, it's just not going to work out. And your solution was to slap him? This relationship sounds like it took the shit a long time ago. There are better ways to handle the situation and every problem can be solved without screaming at each other and resorting to violence. If you consider yourself a decent person, then walk away now, accept the consequences for your actions and learn how to behave.

[IncognitoSir]

Right...you would explode in anger due to disrespect. And that's exactly what I did after he has disrespected me so many times in leaving me every time an argument comes up. He doesn't leave to cool off, he packs alllll his shit up on his own and then decides to come back but yet he's more prideful than before. So this time was the last straw and "I exploded in anger"...I know slapping wasn't the right reaction, but I had so much pent up anger over the disrespect I felt.

"exploding with anger" is not slapping anyone. You seek justification for your actions, but there are none. Yeah he disrespected you by leaving and coming back etc. etc., but guess what, you've allowed him to continue this disrespect. If it makes you so upset to the point of hitting him, just break up with him already. If you haven't already, imagine him slapping you the way you slapped him.........ever think about that one?

[FrostySun]

He doesn't leave a hostible enviornment to stop fighting and cool off....because he packs all his stuff every single time, and then comes back the next day with more pride than before. I have stood my groud repeatedly on getting a resolution to fights...we talk about it eventually, and he realizes what needs to change or improve but when the next fight comes along, it's the same thing. So I guess I've tried as much as I can.

To be honest this doesn't sound like it'll work out if he's actually packing all of his things and leaving. To me that's a sign that he probably wouldn't come back even when he did, which was wrong of him as well. Like others have said, slapping someone is GREATLY disrespectful and for a guy it's like a gunshot to his ego and probably makes him feel like the less dominant person in the relationship. But anyway, if he's realizing what needs to change and improve and these fights are constantly coming along yet again, it seems like he only realizes what needs to be done but doesn't want to do it. I'm not an expert on this, but I think you guys should just take a break and relieve your stress; continue things when he actually wants to make a change. If not, then your better off with a new guy that'll respect you more.

[Michael8]

When you slap a man, you're hurting his manhood more than a face. That would get me incredibly pissed off. Honestly, I'd be more concerned about why you guys fight enough to have a sort of routine for it.

[Regnent]

To be honest this doesn't sound like it'll work out if he's actually packing all of his things and leaving. To me that's a sign that he probably wouldn't come back even when he did, which was wrong of him as well. Like others have said, slapping someone is GREATLY disrespectful and for a guy it's like a gunshot to his ego and probably makes him feel like the less dominant person in the relationship. But anyway, if he's realizing what needs to change and improve and these fights are constantly coming along yet again, it seems like he only realizes what needs to be done but doesn't want to do it. I'm not an expert on this, but I think you guys should just take a break and relieve your stress; continue things when he actually wants to make a change. If not, then your better off with a new guy that'll respect you more.

The packing of things sounds like a childish, passive agressive thing. To me anyways.

I don't really think a slap to the face is all that insulting. I don't like women who hit, but I don't think much of a guy who can't take one without his penis shriveling up.
I got my wife REALLY ticked one fight, and she whapped me with the phone, I couldn't help but to laugh, cause she was really mad, and it was just a bad shot. She got really frustrated after that.

Personally, a slap wouldn't really hit me in the ego, but as a direct and aggressive -personal- assault. I would probably get far angrier, but I think it's more of instinctual thing personaly. Nothing sets off my personal space limit like direct physical contact.
Even my kids can drop my patience like a rock when it becomes a personal proximity thing.

[bloodtippedrose]

When I fight with my bf to the point of not wanting to be around him then I just leave, like your boyfriend, even though my boyfriend hates it because he's stuck stewing over it. When I come home I feel much more calm and ready to talk about a solution to our argument. Blaming your "abandonment" issues is an excuse for the real problem here. Leaving is my, and your bf's way of calming down so we can regroup our thoughts, if I walked back into the house ready to talk and I was slapped you'd bet I'd leave and not come back. You acted way out of line. Instead of focusing on getting him back you should be focusing on bettering yourself by THINKING about your emotions instead of acting on them.

P.S. My bf was slapped alot by his ex gf and distinctly remembers the ringing in his ear, he considers her an abusive gf and is glad to be rid of her. If I were to slap him even in jest it would instantly piss him off, you never know what people have been through.

Edit: Sorry just read he doesn't walk out to cool off he packs all his things, He is being an emotional baby and you have anger issues, NOT meant to be until both parties do some growing up.