She's jealous, but doesn't want a relationship...

[DSR]

Alright everyone, I've got this really strange dilemma. I met this girl in Medical School about 9 months ago and we basically became best friends. We are completely opposite personalities, but strangely enough we get along marvelously when we are together. She confides everything to me and I absolutely adore her and she is well aware of it. She knows that I want to have a relationship with her (be her boyfriend), but she told me once that I am not her type and that she isn't interested in that.

We have actually fooled around on occasion and I have gotten to 3rd base with her. We do enjoy each other's company physically and emotionally. It has almost gotten to the point where we are "friends with benefits". So, I have basically accepted the way she feels towards me, but the problem is that she gets insanely jealous when I talk to other girls. She doesn't even like it when I talk to one of her best friends.

I really don't know what to do at this point. It's like she wants me, but she doesn't want me at the same time. If I start talking to other girls and am away for a while without contacting her, she becomes very amorous towards me. On the other hand, she talks to me about how she wants to find the right guy and get married, etc. I guess I am just confused and tired of this whole situation. Sometimes I feel like I just want her to tell me to get lost, but I know she would never do that because I treat her like a princess. Maybe one of you can slap some sense into me and tell me what's going on and what to do...TIA!

[Superfantastich]

All this will do in the long run is prevent you from meeting someone who actually wants a relationship with you. Maybe just tell her it is a relationship or a strict (no benefits) friendship. Saying this is not being nasty, she needs to get her priorities straight, she is playing with you.

[steviej]

She wants all the attention from you and emotional affection but not the physical side. She chases other females away because she knows she will lose that.
Stop spoiling her, be her friend but no more. Go see other girls and if she acts jealous confront her. I think being a bit distant/cold to her might have her running to you...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I agree with Stevie. I think you should take it a step further and cut her off. When she asks what's up, tell her that you can't just be her friend anymore and if she doesn't want anything more than what you two have been doing then it's time to cease all contact with each other.

[girl68]

This is all your fault. You are her little puppet. Until you grow some man balls here's how her game is played. She's got you wrapped around her little finger and don't lie you love being controlled. She's going to continue to play you. She'll give you blue balls on a regular occurance, you'll get to play with her little boobies, she will continue to toy with your emotions, lead you on, and control your interactions with the opposite sex so that she never doesn't have your attention to bask in. This will go on for ages that is until one day you turn around and BAM she's got a bf- at that point she'll continue to pull you in and pretend she likes you to get you to keep drooling over you, but now you can't touch her boobs. And she won't leave her bf no matter how much love you show her. OR until you grow some man balls.

My vote: grow a pair and tell her to grow-the-f**k-up.

[Ric]

Sounds to me like an unfair relationship where it's open on only one side. She gets jealous because she doesn't want you dating and doing things with other girls, but I bet she has no qualms about doing anything with other guys.

You need to do either one of these. (or both)
Pull away completely, no friendship, no contact. I doubt you guys could work it out with just being friends.
Or otherwise tell her you want more than what you have right now, and you want to be in a commited relationship with her where her feelings of jealousy might actually be appropriate. And if she doesn't go for it, pull away completely.

But it indeed comes down to growing a pair of balls and stop letting her play you.

[devonbrown]

As others have said, she is enjoying the benefits of a relationship without being in one. She likes you as a friend and the "benefits" could be either to keep you around or to satisfy her physical needs without tying in an emotional need.

None of this is necessarily bad, but if it is keeping you from seeing other people, which it sounds like, then it becomes unhealthy and unfair to you.

Be straight up with her and talk with her. If you two are such close friends, your friendship can handle a frank and open discussion. And if it can't, well, that just tells you where you stand with her.

Good luck.

[Blackheart]

She wants the cake and want's to eat it to. You have to let her know that you are not a puppy but a grown man. She is in total control of you will be that way as long as you talk to her. Let her know wuz up before she leaves you in the dirt.

[DSR]

You all are right, I need to man-up. This whole situation isn't healthy for me. I have to admit this is the first time I really felt this way about someone, and it turned into a crappy situation. I know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but right now it doesn't feel like that. I guess in time I will just move on and find someone who actually appreciates me, but thinking about that step right now is really difficult when I am emotionally attached this this girl. Damn, I am such a stupid idiot for putting myself in the situation, UGH!

Thanks for the reality check everyone!