I'm in a difficult situation with my gf, what should I do?

[jt1]

Thank you very much Xena for taking time to read my very long post. Just to tell you a few details, she had dated and had boyfriends previous to me, so it's not like I was the only person she ever dated, but ours was her longest relationship. She had ex's that were only friends even when I was going out with her. It wasn't a big deal to me at all since I trust her. As for the pen pal, he was just someone that she would write to and exchange drawings, since they both draw. Since her mom wouldn't be home, sometimes for days, with only her older brother there with her, she would go out with friends and hang out. However, I met her when she lived with her dad. I just thought I would add that in, I don't if it that makes a difference. Either way, again thank you, I'm glad for your understanding in a time that is difficult for me.

[Xena]

Relationships prior to the age of 16 are not relationships. Please try to understand, she was still a child when y'all begun the relationship. She needs to experience adult relationships outside of you in order for her to grow as a person. Both of you were young. Both of you can learn and grow from this. You will heal. I can promise you that.

I know that's probably not what you want hear. I know you want someone to tell you the magic word to bring her back to you, but to be honest, I think she has already made up her mind. The only way a relationship can be mended is if both parties are trying. I know it is so tempting to keep trying but sometimes you have to let things to run its course. If not, you will only end up hurting yourself in the end and ruin what ever bond you had left.

[jt1]

Yes, I fully understand what you mean. I also wasn't expecting any magic word at all. but you have given me things to think about and thanks for being understanding. I must also agree though with the whole under 16 year old relationships not being adult ones. We've grown up together, gotten more mature, but the thing she most missed was her father. That was by far the single most important thing she wanted to achieve was to get back in touch with him. I know it seems like I myself refuse to accept it, but it's not like that at all. Also, she is a stubborn person like me, and will not listen to reason at times, which made it a little more difficult to talk to her about her decision. However, she agreed to try and work things out, because she agreed that it could have been possible it was a choice made at a wrong time.

[Xena]

I am happy to hear that she has decided to try to work things out. That is the best scenario to hope for. I wish you both luck!

[jt1]

UPDATE: So last night I talked to my ex's friend. It was just to talk about whats going on with me and my ex. While we were talking, my ex calls and and her friend asks where shes at. My ex, i guess, asks her friend who is asking, and after saying it was me, she gets pissed off. I understand I'm not "entitled" to such information, seeing as to we're not together, but it was pretty difficult not to ask since she was emotionally cheating on me while we were still together. That and all I ever wanted was the truth from her.

When we broke up, she said if it was alright to stay friends, I agreed, but she just kept lying about things after that. Her call came in at 11pm last night. She was with the guy that I said she shouldn't see, not because I was trying to be "controlling" or anything like that, but because when I talked to him a year and a half ago he seemed like not a good person and bad news overall. I got a gut feeling about him, a "Mans Intuition" exactly like when women say to another that a certain guy is no good. So what does she do? Ignore my advice and goes over too him like hes giving her breadcrumbs and she just licks all them up. The guy lives 1 hour away by car, and she took the bus because she doesn't have a car right now. She ****s up a 4 and a half year relationship, just for some jackass she met only one time for 3 minutes, and the rest was just online talk or letters. I was nothing but faithful and genuinely nice towards her and treated her well. I give her a place to stay, treat her well, and love her. We had great times, but she really ****ed up this time.

I can't see myself forgiving her for this. I just can't wait until she gets ****ed over by this jackass and wants to get back with me when she realizes what shes lost. Or, maybe she won't get ****ed over by him, but Karma is a bitch, and it eventually gets people back. I treated her ****ing well all this time, and this is how I'm repaid. What a load of shit. After her fling and puppy love bullshit has runs its course, we'll see what happens.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Stop being such a whiny, little pussy. She has no bad karma coming to her for this because she's not doing anything wrong. She very well may come crawling back to you, but only if you leave her alone completely and stop stalking her. Get over yourself.

[jt1]

LOL. Yeah I know I was being pretty whiny and puss-like. I was just venting. As for karma, its for other shit she did too, not just this. However, your right and I am leaving her alone. Also, I'm already in the process of getting over myself and moving on. Thanks though.

[Corgan]

Sadly, it seems like it's time to move on. If you want to take these 3 months to try and make it better...do so. But, I think she already made the decision