How do I cope?

[zdp360]

I've known this girl for ages, I met her in October 2010 because she was going out with someone close to me. In January 2011, I realised I had feelings for her... And she had feelings for me. In the beginning it was very innocent, we both promised nothing would ever come of it, that we would wait for these feelings to go away. But we spoke everyday and I began to fall more and more in love with her despite her being with someone. Things got physical between us (not sexual) and she told me so much stuff like "I love you" and "In a perfect world I'd be with you".. I loved her so much. I'd have done anything for her. She's so perfect. I wish I could have had more time with her, but her being in a relationship, it wasn't possible... I know what I did was wrong, but it was love. Seeing them two together broke my heart, and a few times I heard them having sex... That KILLED. But... I loved her. I didn't know what I was expecting from her, but she said she loved 2 people.

And so up til Wednesday the 16th, we talked everyday. Then that evening, the person she was in a relationship with found out about me. I called up the love of my life and we talked about what we had to do. She decided that we shouldn't talk anymore, at all. I should delete her everywhere, and move on. She said she'd talk to me on June 27th. So she can "fix" things with this other person. It's been 2 days and I can't stop thinking about her... I'm so in love with her, without her I just don't see the point in living anymore. She's going to be happy with this other person, and I'm going to be left. I guess there's always a loser in every situation... It's like she's died. I'm grieving for her because she's just disappeared from my life.

How do I cope? Everything reminds me of her, I so want to contact her, but that wouldn't solve anything... You can't make someone love you if they don't. I'm not going to stalk her or anything, I'm going to leave her be and hope that she comes back to me. I know it won't happen... I find myself doubting everything she ever said. I love her, so so much. I don't even want to get up in the mornings knowing that I wont be seeing her. I don't know what to do! How do i get past the fact she's the love of my life and is going to be happy with somebody else?

[Love&Life]

So, she has a romantic relationship with the other and with you a verbal one? And she said no contact anymore until the 27th of June?
I am so sorry for you, I know you are grieving, you lost something, someone, and maybe it is in a way l-o-v-e, but do you really want to wait like a puppy until she is done with her things? What are you, her slave? She is perfect... ? It looks like she is manipulating you emotionally, so she can have it her way. Don't give your power away. Grieve, cry, be depressed, be sick for a week, then focus on something that is building your strength again.

Think again...if you would have a daughter, would you encourage your daughter this behaviour of your lost love?

[bubabalo]

By june 27th you are going to be totally over her.

I know it's hard I'm suffering from a heart broken myself but hang on because with time it does get better.

Everytime I feel sad, depressed, lonely I think that things will get better with time. Some days you are going to feel better others days you are going to feel really bad, it's a roller coaster and there is no wuick fix for this pain.

[steviej]

Both of the above comments are spot on. It may take you a while to realise it and come to terms with it, but things will get better with time.
What might be very difficult to accept is that because you never had a proper relationship with her, you only ever saw her as 'perfect' you never got to see her faults, find out the things about her that really p1ss you off etc. You only have your own idea of what she would be like as a partner, so of course you imagine it would be perfect!
Let go of the fantasy.
You'll ache and miss her, but you must look forwards and stop looking backwards. Honestly, it will get better!

[robFord]

Embrace the pain. There is no other way to say it. It's going to suck and be extremely hard for a long time, but it's true what everyone says, over time you will think about her less and less and eventually thinking about her won't be as painful. You might even begin to resent her for toying with your emotions for so long once you realize you deserve to be happy, not waiting around for a girl who's selfish and wants her cake and eat it too.

Good luck.