what if its not enough?

[mjfcap]

i have been doing all the right things in my current relationship, been understanding, fun, loving, helpful, and trying to do everything she asks. BUT, it does not seem to be enough, she is so negative about the future of the relationship. She tells me to act or react in a certain way that would make her happy, then when I do these things , she changes the rules again....I know this woman loves me, and I know i love her...I know she is afraid of getting more serious, but i am hoping that will pass. She has some issues of her own and that is the main cause of our problems, I try to be understanding and helpful, but it seems I cant do anything right.....please help me.....Michael

[xxazurexx]

If she loved you, she wouldn't want to change you.

[mjfcap]

she tells me to be myself, and also says she does not want to change me....she tells me things that will help her, but when i do these things she changes the rules

[xxazurexx]

Where do you guys find these 'fruitcake' females??

[mjfcap]

hahaha...thanks for assuming its not me that is a fruitcake..:-)......but she has been through alot in her life....been raped when young.....and is a verified sex addict ...sometimes people dont have too much control of who they become......I thought i have been in love before...now I know it was not real love , because of how i feel for her....i would die for her, prob not a good thing, but seriously, I have never felt this good...and this bad because i cant help her...just confused, and unfortunately, her problems get focused on me, but not purposeful....she expects me to give up on her...but i wont....is that so wrong?

[xxazurexx]

If she has issues, it's not down to you to help her solve her problems. Be by her side and support her, yeah, but she really should go and seek professional help

[mjfcap]

she does....she knows her issues all too well, and that is why she is a sex addict, because she cant resolve them....her therapist loves me for hanging in there , but we all know, I cant do it forever...that is the problem.If i give up on her, not only will it affect her, but me also....I was hoping to find someone who has experienced something similar.....and maybe get some experienced advise.....but i do respect yours.....some of these things I will never understand, because I am not a woman....thank you for your help, and continued opinions....i cant talk to anyone I know about this, I think this is my only way(anonymously) so not to hurt her or me with people's judgements

[swnatalie88]

You might want to give her some space, if she is finding wrong in the things you do/say to help her. It is probably hurting you more than it should. She might want to solve her problems her way or not want to solve them at all, that is why she "changes the rules".

[mjfcap]

thank you...I agree with this only because that is what i am doing right now....wow...I might have made a good decision ...was looking for someone else to say it just to make sure.........you seem like a very inteligent and down to earth person,just like I always thought I was....thanks again for the reassurance