Contact w former

[sizzling]

hi I overlooked a text that my gf got and it was from her ex that she dated 6 years back. Been dating gf a year. I only caught a glimpse as I didn't want to seem noisy (gf is prettyy open about texting around me) and it said something like is it ok if I call you. She has told me about him but I don't think they ended on speaking terms. Not sure if that has changed.

This is kinda bothering me. Should I confront her about it or just wait for her to tell me if she ever decides to? I dont want to seem insecure (have a history of that). Is this such a big deal or am I overreacting? Any suggestions on what to do in this matter are greatly appreciated..thanks!

[IncognitoSir]

As of now, you're over reacting. Until she gives you a reason not to trust her.....trust her.

[mjfcap]

this is something we always will have thoughts of when it comes to X's....trust is one thing but you really have to know what the other is thinking when it comes to this, dont be afraid to ask.........I am dealing with a GF that has her X husband come to her house everyday to watch their 7 yr old daughter, he spends time with her there because of convenience. I originally had a problem with this , but when I finally got the courage to find out more, i realized he was no threat to our relationship....Its hard, but sometimes things like this happen.....talk to her about it, you will be glad you did.....and dont just trust her, because you NEED to know.....good luck

[shinygrey]

I think you should ask her. If not, you`ll live with the doubt and it will be noticed in your attitude.

[sizzling]

thanks for the feedback. how should i approach asking her without seeming too noisy/insecure, etc.? she openly leaves her phone around me when she leaves so i take that as a sign of trust.

should i be like "hey i overlooked u got a text from so and so, are you guys on speaking terms now?" Any advice on how to approach this is appreciated. thanks!

[devonbrown]

I disagree that you have to ask her anything at this point. You know nothing other than he texted her. You don't even know if she responded. She may want to take care of the situation on her own. If she has earned your trust already, don't blow it on something you are worried about without anything else to support your worry.

Good luck.

[sizzling]

thanks for the reply devon. im finding it hard to resist the urge to ask, even had a dream about it last night.....definately dont want to lose her trust. why do you think asking would ruin her trust? i just keep picturing that shes still in love w/him etc etc and fixating on all the negatives....she did make a call after getting the text, not sure if she called him, either way nobody answered. was surprised that she would call him in front of me if that is who she was calling..driving me kinda crazy thinkin bout it....how can i stop? will she ever tell me u think? she said the breakup was her fault so maybe she still has feelings for him? i dunnno but thinkin about it doesnt help....

[devonbrown]

Sizzling, if it is bothering you this much then go ahead and ask her but be very casual about it. Don't be accusatory at all or she will retreat and turn it around on you. Just tell her that you saw something accidentally and that it is bothering you.

However, if you do talk to her about it, be sure you are prepared for any response you might get. Because her response could be anything.

Good luck.

[sizzling]

not sure anymore if i should talk to her....really dont want to lose her trust....she leaves her phone around me all the time with no concern so probably she has nothing to hide? im learning to let go of these matters, she just probably wants to deal with the issue (if there is one) by herself? ill probably just wait for her to tell me if she ever does as i dont know anything about whats going on....feel like im jumping to conclusions w/out much support....she might be acting more loving towards me lately (she always acted loving, feels a bit more right now), tells me she loves me (she always has done that), etc etc....thats a good sign right? thanks!!!

[devonbrown]

It is a good sign. I would just file this situation in the back of your mind and if you notice anything else that seems weird, it will grab your attention. But for now, relax and enjoy the situation you have.

Good luck.