Boyfriend LOST it on me? Please help :(

[Ric]

And yes this is what i realised after i sat down and just thought to myself for like an hour.. I dont even SEE myself with him when im older, i dont see me having kids with him.. I couldnt imagine being pregnant with him, him doing anything for me in fact..lol So i kind of realise.. What is the actual point of me being with him right now? I am actually just wasting time, wasting money.. Whatever, its going to kill me when i see him with someone else.. But hopefully it will do the same when he sees me with someone that actually loves me.

And yes i changed all my passwords. Back to my exes name.. lol
I hope i can get over him quickly.. Im not going to rush things.. But i just hope i dont start going back on my feelings and stuff.. Because last time, i started to feel like i'd made a mistake. Started feeling horribly jealous. I'm sure i will be back on here when those feelings start to come

I'd suggest to change them to something else. It's quite likely that if he wants to mess with your accounts that he first checks the new password, and then checks the old password. Only way to be safe and sure is to change it to something entirely new.

[HeartIsAching]

Yep, change those passwords again to something he won't be able to guess.

[SelflessnHumble]

So lately my boyfriend has been constantly criticizing me everyday all day.. I will try explain the best i can.

I work in a supermarket and i know a lot of the people their that work and they are mostly my age. Sometimes i will be on my breaks with guys/girls.. And we will exchange numbers. I feel thats innocent.. They are in our group of friends and tell me to call them or they will call me if they are in town out and about and to join them etc.. I have no interest in the guys that i talk to.. I only really look at my boyfriend in that way etc.. And i DONT text the guys constantly or even at all.. They are just on my phone for contact..
Well my boyfriend has been looking through my phone recently and has gone mad at the guys numbers in my phone. Doesnt see texts or anything.. Because i dont text them ever.. But just the numbers. Saying im obviously flirting with other men etc..

The 2nd thing is that my password to everything on the computer, everything at work is the same password i have always used since i was 14. Includes my 1st boyfriends name. Okay, so i could have changed it.. But it just didnt think it was a big deal.. Just a jumble of letters. Well the other day he asked for my password to facebook so i gave him it and he flipped. Saying it was like him engraving his ex lovers into his belongings..

He has been constantly getting at me.. Saying im acting trashy and im not a one man kind of girl. I am!! I really am and have no interest in anyone but him.. This is really getting me down So i apologised over and over. Deleted all the numbers in my phone.. He said i was allowed 2 guys in there, as he only had 2 girls in his?? (this really p*ssed me off).. And i changed all my passwords to HIS name.
But it isnt enough for him.. He carries on, saying i should have just done it without being told to.. That if i dont start acting more 'classy' that i can forget about us.. That im ignorant and have no common sense.. Just REALLY tearing a strip off me..

I have just been apologising and he just keeps going on and on and on...Today at work he text me over 100x!!!!NO joke.. I couldnt reply but the txts were just non-stop how trashy i am.. How stupid iv been.. Saying he was going to do it to me so i could feel how he felt..

I just cant take his criticizm anymore.. We had sex last night and i felt like everything would be okay.. But right after he started on me again. Ignored me in bed.. I just felt so used and dirty it broke my heart so much i swear i felt a pain in my chest.. Sigh..

How can i stop this?? What else can i say to him for him to know its only him i want?? Iv apologised and i just dont really know what else i need to do for him to stop acting like this.

Was i really in the wrong? I just dont feel like im doing something SO bad that i deserve him talking to me like this..

Can anyone please give me some advice..

Advice: Grow up, choose better men, and really, stop with the ex ties!

Only losers and people who have nothing to look forward to get hung up on their past: having an ex's name as your password is really ****ing sad and pathetic.

If any guy you choose to be with cannot cope with the fact that NOT 100% OF
your attention is going to directly towards him, or if they are pussies then:

shame on them for being little girls and:
shame on you for choosing such immature people.

[HeartIsAching]

shame on them for being little girls and:

I'm curious... why is "Girl" a pejorative word to you?

[Kaius]

Relationships are for people who are mature enough to be together. By acting like children, you two are better off just playing together, like children. Your password is no one else's business, especially if you are only dating. He is insecure, and you are reinforcing his jealous behavior. I think you were playing into his mind game, but you got nothing positive out of it. It's better that you 2 are apart....or at least until you grow up.

[HereComesTheSun]

Okay, first off i am NOT hung up on my past. My ex is a random guy that i dated when i was like 14. It wasnt exactly his name.. Its a password with a jumble of my initials and his. It wasnt as though it means anything about me or my ex.. I dont think about my ex when i use this password, nor do i use it to keep him in my mind/life.. It is simply my password because with the few times iv started something 'new' on the internet with a different password.. I always end up forgetting it. So i find it much easier to just use the same one for everything.

I dont see how that is sad and pathetic?

And while i agree that i pick the wrong men, i understand its to do with me that i do choose these types of men.. But i dont really see how i was acting like a child? All i wanted was a healthy relationship with this man, everything was amazing to begin with. I truly thought for the 1st 6 months this man was 'the one'.. We got on like house on fire, we were passionate, couldnt get enough of each other (which actually never really stopped).. We didnt fight too much.. I think our main problem was that we spent WAY too much time together. We did everything together and we were best friends for a long time. I didnt see the problem with this then, i was SO happy every minute i was with him and just didnt think of what actual harm it could do to our relationship.
I think after time went on, he started taking me for granted so i decided to make more of a life away from him, so i wasnt so dependant on him. When this change happened i think he just felt like i was ditching.. He gets hurt when i say i want to see friends and such.. I think he felt like i was turning my back on him because we werent used to spending time away from each other. Thats when the jealousy started.. I dont ever remember him ever saying i couldnt have guys on my phone, it just wasnt ever a big deal.. i dont think he even used to check my phone back then.
Its just gotten worse and worse over time, to the point hes so unfair with me. Acts like im going to cheat, which i would never do that to him. I dont even look at men in that way anymore, i love him to pieces more than he even understands. I just wanted our trust with each other to grow and to become stronger.
I felt like we had that in us, but now it seems like that hope is long gone.. Its gotten to the point where i just do not know what to do to make it better?

I was beginning to get so sick of his constant nagging and accusing that i was starting to pull away from him. Which i hated because i care deeply for how he feels and i kind of understood how he was feeling but just didnt know how to help it if that makes sense. Then me pulling away was causing even more trouble and it just got the ball rolling that way i guess.
Now he has just become disrespectful toward me, acting like im more of his possession than the person that loves him. I feel just unfairly treated..

I would like to know, how come you think i was playing into his 'mind game'? Could you elaborate on this?
I dont know why you would think i need to grow up, i wasnt playing mind games, i just wanted the best for us both in the beginning, didnt go about things in the right way and i never tried to hurt him. These things he complains about now were never a big deal for us in the past, they were never a problem at all and things have been the same since we met.. So i havnt began playing games or anything and we werent always as bad with each other.
Im not arguing against what you are saying either, i would just like you to elaborate on your reasons for saying im immature, instead of just claiming i need to grow up.

[Down4Life]

I know everyone is going to be mad about this..... Honey, I am in a relationship with a man very simular to yours. He is a munipulator, control freak and I think narcisstic. I LOVE the ground he walks on! He is my soulmate and I choose to stay. I put up with the jealousy, nasty lashing out, name calling ect. I know most of his triggers and aviod them as much as I can. He can really piss me off sometimes but I get through it. Yes, he LOVES me, he just doesn't know how to really Love me the way I deserve but that is for me to deal with. I have 2 friends I talk to. No guys that is percieved as disrespect and he feels you can put no1 before him. Thats why he is mad. Women shouldn't have male friends anyway, it's not practical really. You do what your heart says whether its to go or stay! I was in a 20year loveless marriage so I know what I get from him is way more than I had before. He has had my back through so much crap. Like you, I also have done something to make him distrust me so it magnifies heir need to control so you won't do it again. My fault, not his. The emotions he is exhibiting for the breakup is because he is loosing control & you. Be careful if you do go cause he could potentially physically lash out. Just wanted you to know I have experienced your story and I understand YOU. I also can NEVER see myself without him. The pain of words don't compare to the pain my heart would feel without him.

[jb1111983]

Sorry to hear about what you're going through. I agree with others that it's better for you to leave him. He is a bad boyfriend and will make a worse husband. You're afraid to leave him because you fear that you will never feel this way for anyone again. And you are wrong! I have no doubt that you will fall in love again. And this next person might just be the right one for you. When my first love and I broke up I convinced myself that I would never be in love again. Enter this English girl and I knew I was in love with a wonderful girl. I was so happy I thanked God every day for bringing her in my life. We were great friends too. Shame it came to an end because of physical distance. I live in NZ while she's in Worthing. But you never know if we'll meet up again.

I seriously doubt your current boyfriend will change. He doesn't respect you which to me also means he doesn't love you. Love and respect go together esp in relationships. Any man who mistreats you is not the right man for you. Well unless you've decided you don't mind being mistreated. I'm sure he'll do worse things if you remain with him.
Don't worry you'll find someone much better. I've seen that happened to many besides my own experience. You are the best judge for your life. Hope you will do the right thing whatever that is. Good luck
peace.

[Janet82]

First mistake you made was to keep apologizing to him for his ridiculous reasons. This gives him the message that whenever he is being ridiculous you will apologize to him and he can get everything in control.

"I think our main problem was that we spent WAY too much time together. We did everything together and we were best friends for a long time. I didnt see the problem with this then, i was SO happy every minute i was with him and just didnt think of what actual harm it could do to our relationship."

I actually know what was the cause of your problem now.