Boyfriend LOST it on me? Please help :(

[vertical_sky]

If you can, seek therapy and post here... Anonymous message forums are really nice for venting and getting support. This guy has a lot of the classic symptoms of an abusive... He's manipulative, he's cut you off from all other forms of support, he doesn't take any responsibility and he seeks to control you. It's gonna be rough going for a while getting rid of him, but you MUST. Think of this: what if you stayed with him, and had a daughter. And the daughter acted like you.... and he treated her the way he treated you. How would that make you feel? Watching him treat your daughter, who you know is a sweet heart and a lovely girl, like that? Cause abusive guys like this... It's never enough to just abuse one person. He'll turn that behavior on your children, and he'll turn THEM into zombies... Is that what you desire?

[Ric]

We're ok with your rambling. That's what we're here for,
He doesn't truly love you. If he did, he'd not treat you the way he does. And your love for him is irrelevant. He makes you feel like shit, your partner is suppose to be there to make you feel good.
No matter how much you love your partner, if he is unable to do that, you should not be together.

You'll get through it. Talk with friends, have fun, flirt with guys you have even the slightest interest in, just do anything that makes you smile and isn't about him.

[HereComesTheSun]

I feel alot better about getting it off my chest here today actually.
I realise i am not a bad girlfriend at all.. Well i can be b*tchy some days but im not hurtful at least.

Ugh.. I just cant stand him sometimes.. He just called me acting like nothing has even happened.. I dont really want to talk to him about this tonight.. Im just going to stay at my mums. He's going out drinking anyway..Surprise surprise..

And thankyou for the reality check too.. I never really thought the future with him to be honest. Its always been about fighting for him to stay with me in the present. When i think about all the things in the past that he's made me go through i feel so much anger about it all. I dont know why i didnt leave him when i wasnt in love with him..

My friends all say i have changed since been with him. Into a lonely isolated person. I just thought it was because i liked just being with him, spending my time with him because it was fun at times.
My biggest fear is me breaking up with him, and him being with someone straight away.. Finding someone just so much better than me and being happy and treating her well. It will honestly kill me.. I dont know what id do..
The thought terrifies me for some reason.. Its these kind of things that stop me from leaving him..

I just got hold of 2 of my good old friends and we planned a night out this weekend! that makes me a little happier anyway.. I just want to get back to being my old care free self who was happy.. That girl seems to have disapeared completely..

[Horseyguy]

Well if it makes you feel any better that's not going to happen. He will hook up with someone else and treat them the same way because that's the sort of guy he is.

You will see him doing the same thing to his next GF and be glad you got out when you did.

And anyway, if he does hook up with someone straight away that pretty much will tell you how he really feels about you

Just focus on how great your life will be without him in it because all you will get if you stay together is more of the same.

[JadenMia]

Dont take his shit.

You are worth SO much more!! You know you dont deserve this dont you? Let me tell you from experience.. Being mind boggled by another person is never fun, not knowing if what you think is right..or valid is completely out of order and it sounds like what he's doing to you.. Making you believe that what your doing wrong.. He is manipulating your mind so you dont even KNOW what to think anymore..

Respect yourself... He doesnt so you need to do this for YOU. You are number 1 in your mind, you shouldnt have to answer to anyone else except yourself. He doesnt obviously care about you if he makes you feel this way. You sound hurt and confused.. Nobody should have to feel this way because of someones stupid, selfish mind games!!

My ex did the same thing.. And god did i love him to pieces. Still do.. But he drove me to insanity.. To the point of me not even knowing what i was thinking anymore..These men are toxic and you really cannot live your life like this. Surround yourself with people that love you, make you happy and smile. You need to remind yourself LIFE GOES ON. Eventually you will learn that you can live your life and do things without him.

Just think about how happy you will be when you have someone who loves you, cares about you and lives to make you happy and you do the same for him? Doesnt that make you want to leave? Your wasting all this precious time you could be spending on finding mr. right.

Just cut contact. That is the only way your going to be able to leave. Otherwise hes going to use his sly words/lies to rake you back in..
Just be strong.. Its for yourself girl. You WILL be okay. Just remember everything will be okay. Dont worry.. just live.

Good luck!!!!!!

[sweetkissesforu]

Your bf is a major loser who is a control freak and abusive runnnnnnnnnnn dont pass go and change passwords to

[sweetkissesforu]

why dont you stop apologizing you will see it is the reaction he is trying to control you

[HeartIsAching]

He's a controlling, manipulative douchebag, and you're better off without him. DTMFA

[MerryH]

Sometimes i just am not sure if he has a right to be like this with me.. I just am not sure if what he is saying is true? Thats why i have come here.. To just know if what he is saying is correct. That his complaints are valid.. Because i dont want to just leave him if really its me in the wrong ..

Most of what I wanted to say has already been said, but I just want to reiterate that you're not wrong. He has no right to be that way to you. His complaints are not valid.

Like i sometimes dont know what is okay for me to do and what isnt??

You know what? You shouldn't have to be so scared of messing up. A good, non-abusive boyfriend is not going to tear you down for every little perceived slight. A good boyfriend wouldn't have a problem with you having the phone numbers of other coworkers who happen to be men, and even if he did, he would talk to you about it instead of raging out.

Please, please end it. It's not supposed to be like this. Your life will be so much happier and less stressful with him out of it. Keep staying at your mom's. Never go back. Keep posting here if you feel like you want to go back and need someone to talk you out of it.

[hello1]

[QUOTE=HereComesTheSun;688311]I feel alot better about getting it off my chest here today actually.
My biggest fear is me breaking up with him, and him being with someone straight away.. Finding someone just so much better than me and being happy and treating her well. It will honestly kill me.. I dont know what id do..
The thought terrifies me for some reason.. Its these kind of things that stop me from leaving him..[QUOTE]

Wow I felt the same thing about my boyfriend, scared he treat the nest girl better so i stayed hoping he change for me. You been waiting two years, you given him enough time and chances. Really is time to move on, do not waste your time. You will not stay together so why waste your youth?

[ProveMeWrong]

£10 says HereComesTheSun won't leave him.

[HereComesTheSun]

£10 says HereComesTheSun won't leave him.

10 quid says she already did.

Anyways, so i told him he had gone too far, this had all gone too far with us and i wanted to break up. I went to see my new place today and am moving with my best friend in 2 weeks.. Im pretty excited for a new change!
But, i have gone through a range of emotions today.. Although filled up my schedule so i wont be bored and open to him talking me into anything.. But overall today felt like a good day.

Although a new question.. Since i told him last night i'd had enough.. He has gone through a range of emotions too it seems. He went from saying 'good, i need a good woman in my life and someone who deserves me' etc.. To your a stupid f*cking b*itch, s*ut, trash.. Never going to get f*cked by a real man again, everybody thinks your a wh*re etc.. To 'i love you, i wish this could have worked i would have gave you everything' etc..
I havnt taken too much to heart even though some of the things he has said has been SO hurtful.. Its been exhausting..

Why does he switch through all these emotions and reactions? What is the reason for this?

[HeartIsAching]

10 quid says she already did.

Anyways, so i told him he had gone too far, this had all gone too far with us and i wanted to break up. I went to see my new place today and am moving with my best friend in 2 weeks.. Im pretty excited for a new change!
But, i have gone through a range of emotions today.. Although filled up my schedule so i wont be bored and open to him talking me into anything.. But overall today felt like a good day.

Although a new question.. Since i told him last night i'd had enough.. He has gone through a range of emotions too it seems. He went from saying 'good, i need a good woman in my life and someone who deserves me' etc.. To your a stupid f*cking b*itch, s*ut, trash.. Never going to get f*cked by a real man again, everybody thinks your a wh*re etc.. To 'i love you, i wish this could have worked i would have gave you everything' etc..
I havnt taken too much to heart even though some of the things he has said has been SO hurtful.. Its been exhausting..

Why does he switch through all these emotions and reactions? What is the reason for this?

It's part of his abusive behavior. He's trying different things to control you, seeing which (if any) will work.

[Ric]

10 quid says she already did.

Anyways, so i told him he had gone too far, this had all gone too far with us and i wanted to break up. I went to see my new place today and am moving with my best friend in 2 weeks.. Im pretty excited for a new change!
But, i have gone through a range of emotions today.. Although filled up my schedule so i wont be bored and open to him talking me into anything.. But overall today felt like a good day.

Although a new question.. Since i told him last night i'd had enough.. He has gone through a range of emotions too it seems. He went from saying 'good, i need a good woman in my life and someone who deserves me' etc.. To your a stupid f*cking b*itch, s*ut, trash.. Never going to get f*cked by a real man again, everybody thinks your a wh*re etc.. To 'i love you, i wish this could have worked i would have gave you everything' etc..
I havnt taken too much to heart even though some of the things he has said has been SO hurtful.. Its been exhausting..

Why does he switch through all these emotions and reactions? What is the reason for this?

As heartaching said, just trying different methods. It's good you're gone.
I hope you also took my advice to change your passwords. If you haven't yet done so, do so quickly.

[HereComesTheSun]

And yes this is what i realised after i sat down and just thought to myself for like an hour.. I dont even SEE myself with him when im older, i dont see me having kids with him.. I couldnt imagine being pregnant with him, him doing anything for me in fact..lol So i kind of realise.. What is the actual point of me being with him right now? I am actually just wasting time, wasting money.. Whatever, its going to kill me when i see him with someone else.. But hopefully it will do the same when he sees me with someone that actually loves me.

And yes i changed all my passwords. Back to my exes name.. lol
I hope i can get over him quickly.. Im not going to rush things.. But i just hope i dont start going back on my feelings and stuff.. Because last time, i started to feel like i'd made a mistake. Started feeling horribly jealous. I'm sure i will be back on here when those feelings start to come