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Thread: Is chemistry needed for marriage

  1. #1
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    Is chemistry needed for marriage

    One thing I wonder is, is chemistry always needed for marriage apart from love, respect, understanding,etc.?

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    Nothing is NEEDED for marriage, love or happiness or respect or chemistry...but did you mean for a happy and sustainable marriage? Yeah, I think there would have to be some chemistry for that.

    I had a marriage where there WAS chemistry, but not nearly enough. I mean, if you are sort of lukewarm about how sexy your mate is at the beginning...that's not a good sign for what things will be like in 5 years, let me tell you. However, I think one part of chemistry is in our control, and that is communication about the things that some couples don't feel comfortable talking about even though they are comfortable doing them. Bad communication habits and reluctance to talk about stuff that might lead to a fight or be embarassing to bring up did a real number on that marriage over time.

    In the bedroom and outside the heat of the moment, chemistry is fed by intimacy and discussing and cooperating to improve the mutual satisfaction of physical intimacy feeds chemistry AND grows emotional intimacy. Sitting back and hoping body language and cool or enthusiastic nonverbal cues will suffice is likely to erode chemistry.

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    What if chemistry has already waned before marriage? Then it won't lead to marriage? And often, in a relationship, there is no guarantee that chemistry will last forever and will always be there.

    Do people divorce when there is no chemistry?

    And are feelings the same as chemistry? But they DON'T last!! If people break up because of lack of chemsitry, then marriage is just a gamble.
    Last edited by happycow; 24-03-11 at 12:29 PM.

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    The feeling of infatuation doesn't last. That's fleeting, often referred to as the "honeymoon phase". The love part is when you realize that the other person's happiness is more important to you than your own. That you hope that at the end of a long life, you get to die first so you don't have to live without them.

    That's love.

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    Chemistry is needed for me to fall in love. Love is needed for me to get married. So what do you think?

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    How long does chemistry usually last? Months or years or weeks?

    After chemistry dies, how does love develop without chemistry? It will be difficult to place the other person's happiness before my own if there is no chemistry left. I won't be concerned with the other party if I feel nothing for him.

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    Chemistry doesn't have to ever go away. That moony feeling that your love is perfect and even his farts are beautiful? That's the honeymoon phase and it WILL fade.

    Chemistry is a mutual rapport, an enjoyment of each other. That chemistry can mature and grow and last forever. My bf's parents have been married for more than 35 years, and you just see them together and you can tell without a word that they enjoy and appreciate each other. That's chemistry. And it takes some effort, because left to fate, it will fade. Tended like a garden, it can blossom and grow.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NeverDead View Post
    Marriage, a tool used by women to get the house of a victim. Getting into marriage is the act of a ****ing moron.
    Wow, sexist and idiotic and bitter, a trifecta! I'll bet the women just flock to you, don't they?

    Are you even aware that some women are financially secure in their own right and that marrying a financial peer benefits both parties equally financially, while divorcing often hurts both equally?

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    I think so. Along with many other things that's a big component. Liking your partner, being good when in the presence of your partner, wanting to be with your partner, having lots of fun with your partner seems to me "crucial"

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