He's just not that into me?

[superkiki]

Please please help me out.

I am a 29 year old woman who is recently out of a 5 year relationship.

I've since become incredibly attracted to a 35 year old man who got out of a really manipulative 2 year long relationship about 2 months ago. He also comes from a broken home, where his mom used to use the kids and tell them horrible things about their father in an attempt to turn them against him. He understandably is not ready to hop right back into an exclusive relationship, and I don't really have a problem with that.

When we are together he is really sweet. He will sit on the couch and he will hold me so close and kiss me. When we talk we have some of the most deep conversations, but then we can turn around and be really goofy, or turn on the heat and have some really hot talk. It is exactly what I am looking for right now.

Here is the part that confuses me. He doesn't text/call. He will wait for me to. And the part that really makes me question things is that while he says that he is a very sexual person (like multiple times a day sexual), he has passed up several invitations to come over and get it on. Including one invite that went something like this "I really want to reenact this dream I had the other night where I had your dick in my mouth". Guys don't say no to that do they???

He swears that he likes me and loves the sex (which I would believe because of the way that he acts during the sex... and the "my god your good at that" comment after a little oral action) But if that is the case wouldn't he want to get it whenever he can? Wouldn't he want to take me up on the commitment free offers to hang out?

It just hurts so badly because I am so into him, and I feel this amazing draw to him that I have never felt before and he seems to have a "I can take it or leave it" approach to me.

Should I just cut my losses and get out before I get completely crushed?

[Horseyguy]

Yeah we can say no to that.

As much as you think a guy would come running at just the mere thought of sex, that's not always the case.

Part of the fun is in the chase, the tease and if you make it too easy and just lay it on the plate like that he might find that a turn off.

[jb1111983]

Don't make yourself so available to him and see how he reacts. If he's into you he'll come to you. I don't really understand but for some reason I don't find it very exciting when a girl showers me with her attention all the time. My ex was one such. She liked me way too much and would do anything for me. Why did I leave her? She gave me no chance to do things on my own for her. It was always because she asked for or planned something for us. That seriously annoyed me. I was with her because I wanted to and not because of the constant affection and attention she was showering me with. Don't make me look that cheap. I guess some of us men love it when its challenging and there's some mystery to it. We like to woo you sometimes even after we are comfortable in our relationship. Don't always be the one to initiate esp if you really like us or you may never know how we really feel about you. When a man is into you he'll make it known to you through words and actions.

[jessZ]

I can see you getting hurt, if you're not careful. It sounds as if you'd like more than just sex. It sounds as if he's not ready for a relationship, hence why he's putting very little effort in. But the thing is, you cant expect to lure a guy with sex. Even when it is amazing, it won't be enough to secure commitment from a guy that isn't ready to commit. Maybe he senses you want more, and that's why he turns down you offers... Also, it is true that a straight up offer of sex is less exciting to a guy.

I think you should have a think about what you truly want out of this. If he is in no position to offer what you want, then move on before you get hurt.

[jessZ]

I can see you getting hurt, if you're not careful. It sounds as if you'd like more than just sex. It sounds as if he's not ready for a relationship, hence why he's putting very little effort in. But the thing is, you cant expect to lure a guy with sex. Even when it is amazing, it won't be enough to secure commitment from a guy that isn't ready to commit. Maybe he senses you want more, and that's why he turns down you offers... Also, it is true that a straight up offer of sex is less exciting to a guy.

I think you should have a think about what you truly want out of this. If he is in no position to offer what you want, then move on before you get hurt.

[Yet another guy]

Guys don't say no to that do they???

There's no way I could say no to that... But about your guy, you say that he's not ready to get into a relationship, understandably. It would make sense that he doesn't call or even passes invitations if he doesn't want to lead you on.

[ProveMeWrong]

Leave him alone, you sound like a horny dog missing his master's leg.