How To Deal With Being Alone?

[vertical_sky]

I don't usually mind being alone... I really like my alone time, reading, dancing around in the bathroom by myself.

When it really gets me is when I realize I'm gonna be alone forever. I'm 26, and have never been engaged, never lived with a boyfriend, and barely have any friends. I'm getting older, let's be honest, older just ain't what's in demand in the dating market.

So I'm trying to come to grips with that idea, but I'm having a really hard time with it. I want to be okay with being alone but I'm not sure how. Anyone got any tips?

[Regnent]

Why do you want to be ok with being alone?
And of course there is a market for dating at 26. Good lord, it's not even 'older'. I'd say that's prime dating age personally, anyone your age should be just past the immature bs.

[vertical_sky]

Cause I figure being alone is the foregone conclusion so I'd like to start being all right with it.

May just be my perspective, but it seems this age is the worst... Guys my age want younger women, and guys slightly older are already married/engaged/long-term girlfriend, plus REALLY difficult to meet people.

[sweetkissesforu]

give up the pity pie im older and i date

[sweetkissesforu]

Cause I figure being alone is the foregone conclusion so I'd like to start being all right with it.

May just be my perspective, but it seems this age is the worst... Guys my age want younger women, and guys slightly older are already married/engaged/long-term girlfriend, plus REALLY difficult to meet people.

that is when you will meet someone

[vertical_sky]

that is when you will meet someone

Well it's my age combined with, well, me... I wasn't all that enticing as a younger spring chicken, and now I have the age on top of the other problems. Also, uh... "that is when (I) will meet someone"... What does that mean? In reference to what?

[98db]

You are actually too young for me and I am 38. My last GF was 28. I have decided to not date anyone younger than 32.

I think you are at the perfect age to start looking for something serious. If you haven't dated a lot, take things slow because it is easy to get caught up in a relationship. Hopefully, you have guy friends, start hanging out with them and they will introduce you to their male friends. You should be looking for a stable guy (good job, smart with money, no drug/alcohol additions, etc) and not be afraid to let him into your life. Physical attraction is great but as you get older (like we all do) you start to shift your priorities to characteristics indicative of a quality person you can trust and love unconditionally.

[sweetkissesforu]

Well it's my age combined with, well, me... I wasn't all that enticing as a younger spring chicken, and now I have the age on top of the other problems. Also, uh... "that is when (I) will meet someone"... What does that mean? In reference to what?

When you get content with being single is when Mr right comes along

[vertical_sky]

When you get content with being single is when Mr right comes along

That's kinda my point, he's NOT gonna come along, so how do I just accept that I'm never gonna find anyone? That's really the entire meat of my question.

[MetalPhoenix]

I've also been alone my entire life. (alone meaning: no girlfriend / relationship).
I'm 25, so we're not that far off.
Being alone is pretty easy. But you need to get yourself a hobby. One that will take up a lot of time and effort. This way it will keep you occupied and your mind busy

Works great for me

Good luck

[birdpond]

No one here has asked -- why do you seem so certain? Be honest or we can't help you -- do you have a physical deformity or disease or health problems? Learning disability? Are you honestly challenged in the physical attractiveness department? Or do you mean emotionally?

We all trip into the self-pity swamp sometimes. It is hard to be objective when you're feeling so down, and if you really do have a 'challenge' in the attractiveness department you are brave to face up to it. But don't give up! I know very severely disabled people and those born with stunning (please forgive my term, no disrespect intended) physical abnormalities and guess what? Many have found love anyway.

As for age -- want to know the honest truth? Most guys love an older woman. Honest! Older women tend to be less self conscious and more comfortable with their bodies and sexuality. We know ourselves and we know what we want in life. Also, we learn to be wicked in bed, lol. So don't discount yourself because of age. I didn't find the love of my life until I was over 40.

It IS tough to be alone. I totally understand. We can distract, create busy lives, but humans were designed to be interdependent. Yes some folks are or CAN be happy alone but if you're not, don't beat yourself up about it and don't let others make you feel worse about wanting a relationship. Life does move on, though, and you do need to find whatever joy and purpose you can either way -- but always leave that door open to love. A bad relationship may be worse than being alone, but a great relationship trumps everything else in the happiness realm. Sometimes, like in my case, love stumbles across your path when you're focused on something else. In my case I met him during a very stressful time, after a bad breakup, and by making myself get out of the house to attend to things I wasn't even wanting to do. Needless to say, at the end of that day I was very grateful I'd pried myself out of bed and out of the house and into the rain to make that LONG drive. . . . but I could have missed ever meeting him if I hadn't forced myself to 'get out there' and keep living.

Hope this helps!

[Yet another guy]

May just be my perspective, but it seems this age is the worst... Guys my age want younger women

Really? That's the opposite of my perspective. Who would prefer less mature women who can't support themselves and not only can't understand their partners but can't even understand their own feelings and - in the worst case - are still uncomfortable with sex? Guys might settle for younger women because the women of their own age don't want them. That's because women assume that guys their age not mature enough I suppose.

Cheer up. You've had boyfriends already so you're obviously doing a lot better than I for example (I've never even kissed a girl). Who knows, maybe the next one will stick.

I used to be content with being single. Sure, it's a bit less depressing that way but it also makes it near impossible to actually find a partner. I can't recommend it.

ps. I do know, how you are feeling, and yes, it ****ing sucks to be alone.

[Chlorine]

I want to be okay with being alone but I'm not sure how.

vertical sky------Start with liking yourself. Be happy with what you have now....then maybe it will be easier to be alone.

Don't always look to other people. They have their own lives to lead. You lead yours.

[vertical_sky]

vertical sky------Start with liking yourself. Be happy with what you have now....then maybe it will be easier to be alone.

I like myself just fine. It's OTHER people that don't like me. That's rather the point.

[AirbenderAang]

It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that you like being alone and that you were meant to be that way. For you, I know that is completely false. If you were meant to be alone, you would never have a second thought about it. You would never desire another persons company. From the little you wrote, I can tell that is not you.

You have merely let your social skills and social interactions deteriorate. You have not done enough reaching out to other human beings. It is likely going to be very challenging for you build up the kind of relationships you want socially, but it will ultimately worth the effort.