I don't know what to do, how to behave towards him...

[Love&Life]

He's the one who broke up 3 weeks ago. We've had emailcontacts and 1 chat on Skype. He is very preoccupied with private things (finding work, building a life again, therapy.) and he's depressed. He does answer my emails, but I feel like he does it because he wants to be nice.
I also feel he needs to be angry at someone and that person happens to be me. (when we were together he was also depressed and was annoyed easily and was cold and indifferent. But one time he also said he love me, even though his actions were loveless) I know he still wants to have contact with me, but it's because he needs someone to talk to. I took distance in the first week, which he didn't like. Now I am sending him his belongings and also poems he wrote for me. I also wrote something in it. I want to send him some pictures of us and me, of our happy moments together. For me it is as closure of our relationship. I don't know if we will ever see each other again or that we have enough base to build a friendship from a distance, but I want to end things with a little smile (my way is by sending him the pics)
My feelings say, and maybe it is my fear that's overscreaming everything, that the life he's living right now, he doesn't need me. I am not linked in any way with his past or his daily life. I feel left alone, forgotten, not needed.
I feel insecure because I asked him in a mail how he was holding up. He replied with a long personal email which I answered with a long and personal email too, 3 days ago. I know he read it, and I think he is visiting a friend this week. But the fact that he didn't responded on my last email, not even a short note, makes me feel his indifference again. Am I overreacting? Or is my intuiton correct?

I don't want to look desperate by sending him the pics, but it is my way to say goodbye to a part of my life. Also to let him know
I love him, even though the universe decided we shouldn't be together. Frankly, I don't want us to be together again, certainly not now.
Will I make a fool of myself when I send him the pics (I made a collage and wrote some notes to express myself)
Will I make fool of myself when I email him like I'd email a friend? To make a joke or just to say 'hi'?

I don't know what to, it has become so complicated and not spontanuous anymore...I feel insecure, which I am not used to.

[steviej]

Are you really emailing him those pics and poems as a way of saying goodbye, or are you really using them as a way to tug on his heart strings in the hope that it might re-kindle something?

Do whatever you feel will help YOU, don't do it for any other reason.
I personally think it's too soon to try being friendly and joking with him, you need to move on first and find your confidence again before you start doing that.
I'm glad you say you don't want to be together with him, that's a good step forward!

[twinrexes]

Depression is a major relationship killer. Good thing he's getting therapy, and good thing you guys aren't together now.

I wouldn't send the pictures. If it was to end things with a smile on your face, then it already served it's purpose. Put them away and don't look at them again. Or at least not until your completely over him. Sending them may open doors you don't want to open.

If you really want to be done and move on with the least amount of heartache then pulling away is best. No contact, or at best only very superficial messages, nothing deep or personal. But really no contact is best. If you wanted to quit drinking, you wouldn't calm your nerves with a shot of tequila every now and then, would you? You get over people quickest when you stay away from them.

Sure he's going to want to keep in touch because he's depressed and wants to lean on you, but that's not your job. And it looks like he only wants to do it on his terms. He writes, you respond, he ignores.

So if you really want to start feeling better and get your confidence back, rip the band aid now. Think of it like a 90 day detox. Get support from friends. Stay strong!

[Love&Life]

Steviej, I don't want to re-kindle anything. I made a trip last week and had a lot of space to think and I felt such a relief I was not with him anymore. I need light to grow, and he gave me darkness which held me back. Evolving means meeting each other and letting go of each other at the right moment. He is not a bad person, and I somehow think I needed this experience to follow the direction I was on before, but with more determination.

Twinrexes, I met some interesting people this week and enjoyed their company. There was even a boy who showed interest in me and who was very considerate (gave me a blanket for the cold, asked me if I needed something to drink) For a moment I felt this is the way it is supposed to be, taking care of each other. It made me feel good.

I take these two lines as practical advise:
Steviej said: Do whatever you feel will help YOU, don't do it for any other reason
Twinrexes said: No contact, or at best only very superficial messages, nothing deep or personal.

Thank you both.