What does take is slow mean?

[asil1970]

Hi There,

Hoping for some insight from some males! I met a man online we talked and really hit it off, we had so much in common. I was heading overseas in the next couple of days and he was very keen to meet which we did for a very quick drink. We connected instantly, no awkward moments, we laughed and there seemed to be very obvious chemistry, we couldn't take our eyes off each other. He has said all along that due to previous relationships that didn't work his kids ended up getting hurt from them he wants to take things slow. I said that was fine. While I was overseas we chatted online daily for 3 weeks confided so much in each other and were both looking forward to seeing each other as soon as I returned.

We met 2 times after I returned from overseas, every meeting was amazing, never felt so connected with someone. The third date we ended up sleeping together. In the morning he seemed a little distant and was not too sure if I would hear from him again. We have been together another 2 times which were amazing, I don't know what taking it slow means. I don't know if he is playing games with me or if he is genuinely interested and just taking it slow (I find this hard to do if you want to be with someone). He has introduced me to his kids as a friend only. Our contact since I have returned from overseas has diminished dramatically.

I am really confused, I want know how he is feeling about me as I am sure he knows how I feel about him. He doesn't give anything away if he feels the same about me.

Looking forward to your feedback!!

I feel as though he has all the power in this relationship and I am just there when he wants me there.

[Bonfire]

If "take it slow" is referring to sex, then that's a good thing, if it is referring to relationship like in your case, then it's a red flag that means he's not that into you and just wants it casual for now. In other words he's just using you for sex til he finds someone else he wants to jump into a relationship with.

[asil1970]

Yes I think you may be right. He did however say he wanted to take things slow before we slept together. Maybe I will find out his true feelings if sex is not part of the relationship until he decides what he wants.

[Lipp]

I reckon Bonfire is referring to your run-of-the-mill relationships, it's a world of a difference when kids are involved. That'd be the main reason for taking it slow - e.g. not defining a clear relationship and introduce you to them until sure that things are serious enough, see whether the long-distance issue is likely to be resolved e.t.c.

As for his behaviour, it could be anything, easiest way would be to simply ask him about his behaviour. It'd be a good communication test.

[Bonfire]

Another thing I might add, sometimes when a guy says he wants to take it slow, it is a way to disarm a girl's guard who wants to take things slow. Basically he is lying about taking it slow so the girl will feel more comfortable but it is only a deception tactic. If sex is what he is after, then he'll be gone as soon as he got what he wants.