Why do women play hard to get?

[jb1111983]

What's the whole point in it? I just don't get it. Will appreciate your take on this.
Thanks.

[MerryH]

Maybe it's not "playing." Maybe she actually doesn't want you.

How easy do you think we should be?

[jessld]

Nothing is fun if it's that easy

[Bonfire]

Not just women, men do this too. It's because sometime in the past, they have been burn when they are easy to get. So by playing hard to get, they think it will make them more desirable. Yea, it works but sometimes it backfires when a guy or girl doesn't like to play these types of games. Ultimately games are played by people who are insecure of who they are. People who can be themselves are truly the ones who are hard to get, because they are rare.

[JBELL]

Because we've all had an experience where we tell the guy how we felt or we did the opposite of play hard to get and the guy gets turned off by it.

Playing hard to get with a guy is an easier way to get him hooked because a guy seems to love what he can't have.

If you start ignoring her though she will probably come after you, unless she is just genuinely not interested in you.

[jessld]

I've always been interested more in a guy that I cant get simply because I cant get him, unless I try harder. If you dont wanna play the "game' maybe just ask her flat out what her deal is

[jb1111983]

The past experience thing makes sense. There's this girl who I think likes me but is playing hard to get. From what I know of her she's not the kind to lead on a man if she has no genuine interest in him. About 4 years ago her fiance had left her to marry another woman. She hasn't been with any guy since. I recall her once telling me that her ex fiance thought she was too "childish, immature and emotional" because she gets "excited like a little girl even over little things". She sure has a childlike sense of wonder which I think is one of the most wonderful things about her. I've told her that. But she is also a very deep person and not immature at all. Until now I didn't think much of her past experience as it happened 4 years ago. But now it's beginning to make sense as to why she is being so cautious. I was beginning to think she probably wasn't really into me. Then I had a chat with one of her close friends who said "I think she likes you! She's just testing you".
Yeah I agree it's got to come to an end at some point. I just don't know when.
Anyway I'd love to know more on this and what to do with such girls.

[luvbugg88]

No fun if easy, when u work for it show that ur not the typical guy that's in and out. Chicks like when she is wanted, n if a girl is easy then u can only imagine how many times she was easy with other people nobody likes a loosy goose

[jessld]

Plus a guy whom I like is doing this to me, well I assume his doing this to me. His a very very very very shy guy. Maybe she's just shy? She might need a little push in the right direction but you dont wanna push to much so it scares her.

[jb1111983]

Yeah she's a little shy. Every time I initiate anything she always responds well. She rarely initiates though. She only initiates when I don't contact her for say 4-5 days. Hmmm so do you think it's good for me to give her some more push in the right direction? So far I haven't pushed her much giving her space and time to think. I'm a little sacred to scare her away. I don't wanna screw up any little chance I have with her.

[GivingUp]

Both men and women play hard to get.
My mother always told me relationships are like a tug of war, if one pulls the rope closer you will go to them, you do the same and they will come to you.
We as humans, always want what we can't have and by nature will always play games when we think we have control.
It is as simple as that.

[surfhb]

******Yeah she's a little shy. Every time I initiate anything she always responds well. She rarely initiates though. She only initiates when I don't contact her for say 4-5 days. Hmmm so do you think it's good for me to give her some more push in the right direction? So far I haven't pushed her much giving her space and time to think. I'm a little sacred to scare her away. I don't wanna screw up any little chance I have with her. ******



You are spot on my friend! She is testing you. Shes seeing if youre a good mate. This all comes down to survival of the species whether anyone wants to admit it or not.

Women want a strong, dominate man. Why? Because it cues that survival mechanism in us all. If she just gives in, she as no chance to see the kind of guy you really are -- Are you a Pussy or are you a Alpha Male?

Its good you go sometime without talking to her. It shows you are your own man and dont need her, because there are other girls you can have. Make sense? The fact she contacts you basically says - "OMG....i want you so bad right now"!!! The worst thing any guy can do in a new relationship is calll or text immediately the next day or constantly calling or texting. It show her you are needy

Women playing hard to get = testing you, not wanting to be labeled a slut
Men playing hard to Get= securing your dominance in the relationship (different than the womens side though - were all easy to get LOL)

They're both Blullshit and games since both sexes want sex and a relationship equally but those are the ropes!

[surfhb]

Not just women, men do this too. It's because sometime in the past, they have been burn when they are easy to get. So by playing hard to get, they think it will make them more desirable. Yea, it works but sometimes it backfires when a guy or girl doesn't like to play these types of games. Ultimately games are played by people who are insecure of who they are. People who can be themselves are truly the ones who are hard to get, because they are rare.

I couldn't disagree more! See above! The Game Of Love is the same from the beginning of time!

[cheeky&sexy]

Because if we dont play hard to get guys cant seem to handle it and they back off and lose interest. They like the idea of having to chase someone cos it makes them more desirable if its not easy to get. I havent played hard to get in the past.. been burned every time.. so now as much as i hate it cos i prefer to just go for what i want.. ive realised if i want a guy to stick around i have to play this stupid game. Being confident and going for what u want seems to be a handicap in dating if your a girl. So many guys i see chase these so called 'desirable' girl, only to lead to a dysfunctional relationship due to insecurities.

[Yet another guy]

Because if we dont play hard to get guys cant seem to handle it and they back off and lose interest. They like the idea of having to chase someone cos it makes them more desirable if its not easy to get.

That's just bullshit. Okay, you might find a few of those in a random selction of 100 people, but for most of the guys, that's bullshit. That's not true for any single guy that I know personally. Playing too hard to get will eliminate most of the interested guys leaving the players, the desperate and those full of themselves as the ones that still bother.