Is it all done? Open to all advice

[skrapy4]

also, i know we were dysfunctional- who spends every single day together? and old married couple thats who! I want to do alot with my life, but right now I'm just confused and fustrated. All I asked for was for honesty- and yes, he could of been telling the truth, but he was so quick to get rid of me and let alone EVERYONE. none of our closest friends hear from him, he dissapeared.

[skrapy4]

Just got some news that broke my heart even more. He is seeing someone else, and I feel betrayed because he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. Things are looking so bad right now- I cant stop crying. If you love me, why do this to me? Is it because I hurt him by leaving first? help :'(

[Cerby]

Just got some news that broke my heart even more. He is seeing someone else, and I feel betrayed because he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. Things are looking so bad right now- I cant stop crying. If you love me, why do this to me? Is it because I hurt him by leaving first? help :'(

At least you know all further doors are currently closed, so you don't have to worry about being clouded by hope. This is a good thing, you can now focus primarily on moving on, as hard as it will be.

[skrapy4]

At least you know all further doors are currently closed, so you don't have to worry about being clouded by hope. This is a good thing, you can now focus primarily on moving on, as hard as it will be.

But why? i dont understand whats going on. How do u love someone and tell them you'll come back for them, and then up and drop them like garbage? Everything hurts :'(

[Cerby]

But why? i dont understand whats going on. How do u love someone and tell them you'll come back for them, and then up and drop them like garbage? Everything hurts :'(

I've been left for someone else before, and I know it totally sucks. The "I'm not ready for a relationship" excuse is only valid right after someone just got out of a relationship. Right now he got out, saw that he didn't want to be with you, and moved onto a rebound to make himself feel better.

He deceived you by telling you something that probably wasn't true to soften the blow, but it actually just drags things out.

No matter the case, you need to start looking at the realistic option of moving on without him, he has made it clear he doesn't want this right now. You need to, as painful as it is, start looking for your own future and start moving on. Read "The Four Agreements", its a good start.


I'm scared now because my situation is similar, my gf also left me to take some time for herself as she wasn't ready. . .I hope she is coming back But I've accepted the reality that she might not.

[skrapy4]

thanks cerby, i kinda get the mixed feelings of i want him to find happiness, but i want it with me. but i know i will eventually move on without him, cause I dont want to go back to something thats broken, I want to start anew if the oppertunity is right. Must learn to forgive and let go... and I read ur story and it seems she just might need time as well. We were complete without them at one point, we can go back to being a complete being

[acloy]

I understand that it's difficult to let go a long relationship. You already get used to have him so much (since you both together for such a long time) and suddenly things change.

But I think you should give yourself a chance to start a new life. Your thought and feeling is also very important. From your post, I can feel your anger. But you know? the best way to revenge and recover from it is to LIVE BETTER than him

[Lifetime]

But why? i dont understand whats going on. How do u love someone and tell them you'll come back for them, and then up and drop them like garbage? Everything hurts :'(

My ex girlfriend used to tell me she loved me a hundred times a day. She told me she could never picture herself with anybody else, and she could never, ever be without me. She seems to be doing fine without me now though. What I'm saying is peoples feelings do change, people do get bored, and confused. Like everyone else is saying, just do your best to put it in the past and move on, don't even give yourself hope that he'll come back. He might, but just don't waste your days thinking about it, because believe me, it doesn't help anything.

[skrapy4]

I think I had a freaking emotional breadown today, I was told he was bringing his girlfriend to my area. That feels like disrespect,and it hurts more that I can't do anything. Trying to move on, but its not working... I wish I knew the future

[skrapy4]

I was told by a very close friend that he wants me to get my life together and stop worring about him. He said ima come in 7 yrs to see whats up. I think hes freaking delusional. not about me getting my life together- but wanting 7 yrs worth of space?! I also think he's really hurt right now cause he read one of my texts wrong on that faithful day of our last argument. He thought I said he wasn't a husband at all for the whole relationship, I said that he wasn't being one toward the end, not as a whole. He sounds revengful right now and really hurt, and I feel bad cause I know I would never say he wasn't a husband at all, but yet i'm still resuming no contact. I just don't want to leave him thinking that's what I said

[ev90]

I am going through something similar, myself and my boyfriend of 6 years just broke up. I was 14 when we got together and now 21, I got some really good advice just today... its hard to accept (im also trying to accept it) but maybe you are a different person than you were at 12. Maybe its just different things you both want now. You need to give him his time and get to know yourself.. get close to your friends, they will be the best thing in your life and concentrate on your work and what you really want because you will come to love it so much and it will be your life. You both will either grow up in a few months or maybe longer and if you do and its right then go for it because thats when it will be new but until then it cant work.

My ex is starting to see someone else and I know I have to move on and be happy and just grow up. Im quite ambitious and want to really focus on my career while he doesn't.. I think that scared him and the girl he is with now is similar to him so I suppose its just convenient for him but i dont think it will last. Its so hard but give him space/time and whatever else he needs. If he comes back he does but also dont wait around, try to get over him and get control. Either way, if he comes back you are in a better position to take him back or not and if he doesn't its not so bad because your moving on. The best feeling ever is when you have control of yourself

The best thing to do is accept it and concentrate on something else. You need to get away from your comfort zone aswel because you will never get over him if you dont, too many painful reminders. Even if its getting a new job or something but find something to focus on. Leave him for the min, let him walk by you. He is hurt and angry but you know deep down he loves you and cares and someday he has to turn round and face that and then he will come to you. I think its just going to take time.

I only realised this in the last week and we broke up 6 weeks ago.. it was the worst 6 weeks of my life but I think things are clearer now for me. I know I am going to have bad days but I just need to focus on the good and it will be ok...

[skrapy4]

ev90, this was seriously the most touching thing I read. I'm tryna get to a point where I love him from afar, and maybe one day we will be together again. I know for a fact that I have to work on me, Im a mess lol, but in the end it will be worth it. I wish you luck in your situation, and I hope you too can find happiness

[skrapy4]

I know I have to give him space, and take some time for myself, but i'm hurting so bad that it doesn't feel like its getting better. I hate that he's with someone else, I want him back so bad cause I finally realized that I didn't love him like I should of. I was very abusive, and selfish, and I feel so guilty :'( I love him so much and I need help to deal with this pain. The girl he's with was a friend of his, and I know who she is. He's not even acting like himself, I can't take this pain, I'm trying and trying, but it doesnt feel any better. I'm so freaking lonely and sad.... I want to feel love again. I want him, and all he keeps saying to other people is he's giving me 7 yrs to get my life together. I don't even wanna believe that. I need someone to talk to :'(