love vs sex

[mjfcap]

wow,Vashti, Not sure if you just don't understand or don't read everything....maybe you have been cheated on by someone who says they were a sex addict?..I don't know, but if you are interested enough in the subject to be so judgmental, maybe you should do a bit more research so you can at least sound like you know what you are talking about?...since I know you will not read more on the subject, and obviously do not care for anyone who is an addict of anything, or care for anyone at all. I think you shouldn't post here anymore, this is a site to help people with issues they may be having, not a soap box for you to stand on and judge people, not a place where you can like the sound of you own opinion...remember, it is not peoples faults for being the way they are, especially if personality traits are caused by traumatic experiences in their past.......but i am curious now, what was yours?...to make you so close minded and judgmental?....

P.S.....there has been absolutely NO cheating in my relationship, no bad decision making and no lack of impulse control....so, really, wtf are you even talking about?.....my observation is that it may be yourself !!!!

[vashti]

wow,Vashti, Not sure if you just don't understand or don't read everything....maybe you have been cheated on by someone who says they were a sex addict?..

Nope. I wouldn't go out with anyone who thought I'd be dumb enough to fall for that.

I don't know, but if you are interested enough in the subject to be so judgmental, maybe you should do a bit more research so you can at least sound like you know what you are talking about?...since I know you will not read more on the subject, and obviously do not care for anyone who is an addict of anything, or care for anyone at all.

Actually, I have read about it, and studied it in nursing school. More level heads think it is a combination of OCD tendencies with a lack of impulse control. Maybe YOU should do a bit more objective study, and quit limiting yourself to points of view that only support what you want to believe? Genuine addiction involves both physical AND psychological dependence. Sex "addiction" doesn't do this... it lacks the component of physical dependence. The bible of psychiatry (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV) no longer includes "sex addiction" as a mental disorder, so you see, it is YOU that doesn't appear to know what they are talking about.

I think you shouldn't post here anymore, this is a site to help people with issues they may be having, not a soap box for you to stand on and judge people, not a place where you can like the sound of you own opinion...remember, it is not peoples faults for being the way they are, especially if personality traits are caused by traumatic experiences in their past.......but i am curious now, what was yours?...to make you so close minded and judgmental?....

P.S.....there has been absolutely NO cheating in my relationship, no bad decision making and no lack of impulse control....so, really, wtf are you even talking about?.....my observation is that it may be yourself !!!!

I don't even know what point you are trying to make with this last bit.

[mjfcap]

Ok Vashtii, whatever you may believe or have read, this is a real problem that my girlfriend and i have to deal with, maybe OCD?, maybe other issues, who knows?.....But know that her therapist calls it" sex addiction", and says the reason is because she measures love by sex, and is really all I am going by, the whole problem here is that I do not know enough about it, and is why i am here...and i do really feel that you are being judgmental and ignoring some facts, and just throwing your opinion around, it is not that you are not entitled, but isn't it the point to be helpful if you are going to reply to someones post?...not just voice your opinion about one part of the persons story?......and yes, i probably did over react , and turn it around on you, but when a person has to deal with a situation like this, and someone else just blurts out an opinion that has nothing to do with the question, how do you expect a person to react?..., you have ignored all the real facts that i have put in my posts about my GF....basically said she was shit , and making excuses...if you were gang raped at age 13, would it affect your personality?, if the tolls it had on your personality ruined every loving relationship you have ever been in, if you were trying to heal yourself and finally at the age of 40 have a normal relationship and be happy ...would it make you feel better to be judged ? or understood?........I am just trying to understand...and all i ask from you, if you know so much, is just to help with the whole problem if you want to help....does that sound reasonable?

[mjfcap]

P.S....like I stated before and you chose to ignore, there has been no cheating, no lack of impulse control......so please tell me why your comments are relevant to my situation, i would really like to know

[vashti]

P.S....like I stated before and you chose to ignore, there has been no cheating, no lack of impulse control......so please tell me why your comments are relevant to my situation, i would really like to know

Because labels matter. As I said before, if either of you believe she is "sick" then she gets to assume less responsibility for whatever issues you are having.

While it's true she has (apparently) suffered in her young life, if she chooses to engage in relationships, she has an obligation to bring her healthiest self to the table. If she has been working on this problem with the same therapist for several years, and has shown no improvement, perhaps it is time to find a new therapist, perhaps a cognitive therapist. You can't fix this problem for her - you can only accept her the way she is, or move on.

[SapphireBerry]

All in all if you two love each other balance it out, you can have an extreme passion for sex, but really? it sounds like what you are saying is that her body just isnt enough for you in the end, if you love her you will want her as much as she wants you, you both are on the wrong page, she wants someone to satisfy her and make her feel wholy loved and if you're not giving that to her then she might as well break up with you and continue her search, you need to learn to appreciate what your woman is offering to you and how passionate she is about you, I'm not being harsh but from reading it again I'm just stating the cold hard facts of it..

Sapphire x

[SapphireBerry]

and.. if she sees sex as love then there is something wrong but by what you said you seem to not be pleased with her, obviously she is getting help and trying to figure out her own problems but in the end when it comes to love too there shouldn't be a problem as big as this cuz it just seems like its causing you both grief, no offence but i dont see this lasting

[NytNrs&Mmartist]

love = sex = happiness. (but sex does not = love)



make her happy, take viagra/cialis/levitra. YOU WILL HAVE IMMORTALITY (boner for 36 hours ofcourse)