On and off the rocks

[04074Boy]

Hello All,
My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years and we have recently been having some trouble. Over the past 2 years we have been looking on and off to buy a house, each time we got close... I backed out. Last week we decided to just rent an apartment (a decision he was very frustrated by). I tend to be an over analytical person so I was trying to diagnose the reason for my avoidance of the purchase and uncovered something I was not expecting.... apathy. I started wondering how we lasted five years together, are there better matches for me out there, do the things that annoy me outweigh the benefits. Obviously I am ashamed of these thoughts because my partner has done so much for me and is a person I implicitly trust and care for. He has been my rock through many serious bouts I have had with anxiety and the thought of walking away from our relationship makes me feel like a snake. Our entire lives are intertwined between pictures, vacations, furniture, friends and family. Do I really want to end this? or am I just confused? Our relationship blossomed slowly and we have always had intimacy issues, but would working on that bring us closer together? I am unsure how to proceed and welcome any advice you can contribute

[devonbrown]

Communicate. Talk to your partner. Tell him how you feel. Since you have been in a relationship this long, it would only be fair to have your partner be part of the decision-making process. Talk honestly and openly and see where that takes you. Your own analysis came up with things that surprised you. A good conversation with your partner will probably give you even more surprises.

Good luck.

[04074Boy]

Thank you for the thoughtful advice, you are absolutely right and we are definitely in this together.