I luv my best friend :( my heart is breaking

[Kjh498]

I love my male friend, do I tell him? He has a gf heeelp
Hi guys.

I am a 33 yr old professional female & my friend is a male 32 yr old professional, we work together. He has been a good friend for the laSt 18 months. I wasn't attracted to him at first but we started spending some time together just hanging out with mutual friends & we got closer. We communicate a lot during the week and whilst we have never done anything sexual I know there is a lot of sexual tension/a deep connection between us.

He has a long term partner who he lives with (no kids) so I often go through these phases of backing off gradually because of his situTaion but he never let's me pull away from him.

Last yr he told me he had deep and strong feelings for me and that they were wrong, he said if things were different he would b with me. So I asked him to b with me but he said he couldn't. after that I kept away from him for 2 months, even though we work together. We somehow manGed to b drawn back together again.

We hAve started spending time together again and although nothing romantic/ sexual happens I just feel like it is breaking my heart. I love him so much and I know he has feelings for me.

I have been dating other guys but I have had no luck, I just want him and no one else. Do I tell him how strongly I feel for him and ask him to leave me alone unless he wants to b with me properly or do I plod on having him as a good friend (I love his friendship we get on so well). I can't imagine him not being in my life, he knows me so well, but his partner isn't well and they have Been together for 15 yrs.

If I tell him how I feel it will make me vulnerable n I will have to c him at work.

What do I do??? I'm going out of my mind I feel like a teenager.

[steviej]

You need to back off.

You've told him how you feel, you asked him to be with you and he turned you down. He didn't leave his partner then and trying to tempt him away whilst she's ill... that's just low.

You need to change the dynamic of the friendship, stop the flirting/sexual tension - stop focussing on him!
If you can't you're going to have to distance yourself a lot from him in order to move past it.

Start dating more, meet new people and try to push him out of your mind.

[DarkHelmet82]

heres the thing.

1. if its meant to be it will happen
2. dating a friend is hard becuase if you break up the friendship is gone too

my advice... let it go.. if it happens cool otherwise there is nothing that u can do... I would maybe hang out with him less as your feelings are strong and may create some issues.

[Kjh498]

I know u r right. Should I tell him why I am backing off or should I just remove myself gradually and gracefully from the situation?

[DarkHelmet82]

why would you tell him? hoping he is going to say.. "I feel the same way about you!" If he asks.. sure tell him.. but i wouldnt let him know unless he asks.