Men I attract already have girlfriend?!!

[Mayita]

Okay so it's simple..

I've moved on from my ex & the break up and now I'm back to being happy & confident. I'm not really looking for anything or anyone really, just enjoying time with friends & working. When time comes, it will happen!

But I guess being happy & smiling help alot in attracting guys.. About a week ago, a guy whom I never spoke to, was telling a work colleague that he wanted to ask for my number to get to know me but that he was a bit shy and scared that I wouldn't want to give it to him... I found that a bit cute so next thing I know, I check on Facebook out of curiousity (who knows!) and he has a girlfriend.....!*&%

I didn't say anything then. After a few days, we're at work and he calls my office and we start chatting a little. Just friendly.

He then came to me and ask if he can have my number, just as a friend.

So anyway, I don't get it. He doesn't need a new friend out of nowhere like this, he has plenty. And it's not as if we have a group of mutual friends to hang out together.. This is out of the blue.

I seem to only attract guys that are taken and I'm not interested. Why is that?!?!?

[VincenzoG91]

If this has happened more than once at work, you might want to chat with an older female colleague about the way you present yourself at work. Maybe you could dress more professionally, or conduct yourself in a more serious manner. Maybe you come across as more flirty than you realize.

[Mayita]

Thx Vincenzo but no, this is the first time it happens at work and actually, I had never even said a word to this guy and as far as I'm concern, I don't find him attractive or anything... I doubt he could have thought I was flirting with him in any way?

Plus the company I work for have uniform, nothing sexy. Black pants & polo shirt... ? But I have to say that I'm very sociable so he probably saw me talking and smiling with others but..

Thing is, as a man, if you have a girlfriend, there's no reason you would want to "get to know a girl" out of the blue like that no!??! And I don't like when others say that they might be in an unhappy relationship and looking for someone better.. THEN LEAVE FIRST! Don't look while still in the relationship. NO?!?!?

[vashti]

Instead of getting all riled up over it, why don't you just ASK them if they have a girlfriend (or wife) when they ask for your number? Life is too short to get upset at things you have no control over.

[Bonfire]

It has nothing to do with you. It happens to all of us. Some people out there are just not faithful to their partners. I have had married women hit on me before.

[Mayita]

Well yes, I did confirm he had a girlfriend in the end..

I guess it just sucks that every one of them that are interested always have someone already. Like they're not happy but not man enough to just leave and be on their own before hitting on other women.

[jessld]

An old fling of mine has a girlfriend (it may even be wife now) he keeps telling me his unhappy and wants me to go see him for 'fun' or at least a date or drinks. I just keep telling him no not till his single. In fact even if he becomes single
I doubt i will coz his keen to cheat now why wouldn't he do it to me.

So all in all what im saying is just ignore them. If they r like this now than why wouldn't they b like this is u ever date them. Sounds like u deserve better. And if they r looking for 'friends' than why can't it b a group hang with gals n guys.

[devonbrown]

Why is it that I think there is more to this story than we know. You give one example, but then you say

I guess it just sucks that every one of them that are interested always have someone already. Like they're not happy but not man enough to just leave and be on their own before hitting on other women.

Is it a lot more than just this one person? And if not, why would you generalize an entire gender like that?

I will say this though, there is a lot of scum out there. Don't settle for scum.

Also, though, why is it not possible for someone to want to become friends with someone? Granted, from your detail of the story, it does sound like he was hitting on you. But men and women can be just friends. Maybe next time ask him if he would like to bring his wife/gf/etc along. That should help keep things clear.

Good luck.

[Mayita]

Well, it does happen quite often actually... I never really pay any attention to them as soon as I find out they already have girlfriends, I just cut it off right away.
Then I sometimes have to talk to them as I work with a few of them but that's it.

But yeah, I just ignored them even if they say they're unhappy as in the end, that means if he ends up being unhappy with me, he will look elsewhere before ending it with me too? No way..

The thing is, that last guy who did it, I could have been interested..... but then again same story! That's why I decided to post here..

Devon of course men & women can be friends but the way he did it definitely was not the normal way of "making friends"