I'm in trouble here...

[Yautja]

A little back story first. I'm 23 and my fiance is 25. We are engaged to be married in September. We've been together for about 2 and a half years.

I started noticing I was getting a little out of shape a few months ago so I decided to do something about it. I started going to the gym twice a day; once before work and on my lunch. Due to our work schedules I didn't get to see my fiance before I went to work anyway and obviously didn't see her on my lunches. With a workout schedule like that I started seeing results quickly...

I have more endurance, I'm stronger, my clothes fit better, and (something I wasn't prepared for) my libido is incredibly high. If I had to put it on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not at all and 10 being "I just took two viagra..." I'd say I'm constantly at an 8 on a daily basis. No matter what I do now, be it 'long showers' or lessening my workouts, I am constantly turned on.

My fiance's libido, on the other hand, is the same as it's always been. Prior to my workouts and this new found horniness that was fine but now it's not. I have caught myself thinking about my cheating on her more than once and one night I very nearly called my ex for a fling. I didn't, but just that thought scared me.

I LOVE MY FIANCE. I want to spend my life with her but I don't know what to say to her. I can't very well say "You just aren't satisfying me anymore". Please ladies, tell me what I could say or do that would help her understand.

[jessld]

Talk to her. Explain how u explained it than all of it well maybe leave out the cheating part. as long as ur being honest with her I think it may hurt her a little but as a couple u can spice things up. And she can help n support u

[smackie9]

I suggest you get some couples counseling before you get married so you can learn to work through this and other issues in your relationship. Marriage is noooooo picnic. It's a lot of hard work and already you are getting a taste of things to come.

[Yautja]

But do we have to skip directly to couples counseling? I am not against it but I figured that would be farther down the list than talking to her about it.

[smackie9]

Well if talking to her is what you think you should do then you wouldn't be on here asking us this right?. Couples counseling isn't just for troubled issues, it's also to teach you how to communicate with each other and how to set up your priorities, like finances, children, etc. You have only been together for 2 and a half years......you have no clue what you are getting yourself into trust me. Been in it for over 21 years and I know things are not all rosey or easy. You have barely started this relationship and here you are already experiencing sexual incompatability and fighting off thoughts of infidelity.....dear you are so far in it, it's gonna be a real up hill battle. You just wait til you have kids......see how much sex you are going to get then. Basically premarriage counseling will give you preparedness, so to avoid a divorce.

[hello1]

You know what I think this is, your ego. You work out, look and feel better and are now looking else where. Which is sad

Talk with your girlfriend, least then you can say you tried

[Yautja]

So many jabs. That'll teach me to ask for advice

First off, and I am quoting myself, "Please ladies, tell me what I could say or do that would help her understand.". I asked for what I should say.

Some examples would include, "She needs to hear X from you then say Y." Filling in X and Y with useful insights.

[Bonfire]

Give her some split pea soup.

[Bonfire]

You know what I think this is, your ego. You work out, look and feel better and are now looking else where.

Actually, it has more to do with biology than psychology. When a male works out, their body is going through physical change and will produce a lot more testosterone. So what he is experiencing is the increase in hormones thus making him more horny.

[MrE]

Rethink the marriage, I was in a similar boat when i married and it turned out to be an absolute disaster 8 years later. I just couldn't take it anymore.

If you're already thinking about cheating, that wont stop. If you become a cheater then you will live a life of guilt, and likely end up in divorce, paying alimony and all that jazz. Can you honestly commit yourself to a single vagina for your ENTIRE LIFE? No more, one poon and one poon only for you. You will never experience the thrill of the chase, and the thrill of meeting new women and having sex with them EVER. If you can't handle that, then you're not ready to be married and it's much easier to end it now then it is to end it years from now. Trust me.

Of course, if you don't have a guilty conscious then you could always cheat, but that would make you a douche bag.

[Yautja]

Actually, it has more to do with biology than psychology. When a male works out, their body is going through physical change and will produce a lot more testosterone. So what he is experiencing is the increase in hormones thus making him more horny.

I'm sure I could Google this but... Does this spike in hormones fade away?

[bloodtippedrose]

You know, no one knows you better than your fiance, so why don't you give her a chance to offer insight? If you're prepared to marry her then you must feel very comfortable around her right? and trust her opinions? I would sit her down and tell her that ever since you've began working out you've had so much more energy and feel horny ALL the time and having sex X times a week isn't satisfying you as much as you'd like it too, then she what solutions she can bring to the table. Just be sure to tell her how you're feeling and not say "you" aren't doing this or that which would be placing blame and she would inevitably get upset and offended.

[Bonfire]

I'm sure I could Google this but... Does this spike in hormones fade away?

Yes it will fade. Once your body is done adjusting to the stress you exert on it through physical workouts it will settle down. Your body physically won't change as much at this stage. If you want to continue to change your body shape, it will require more intense workouts and proper diet. That will require you to become a gym rat. But for most working adults, that's not feasible and your body will simply level off at some point and further workouts is just to maintain the same appearance.

[hello1]

Rethink the marriage, I was in a similar boat when i married and it turned out to be an absolute disaster 8 years later. I just couldn't take it anymore.

If you're already thinking about cheating, that wont stop. If you become a cheater then you will live a life of guilt, and likely end up in divorce, paying alimony and all that jazz. Can you honestly commit yourself to a single vagina for your ENTIRE LIFE? No more, one poon and one poon only for you. You will never experience the thrill of the chase, and the thrill of meeting new women and having sex with them EVER. If you can't handle that, then you're not ready to be married and it's much easier to end it now then it is to end it years from now. Trust me.

Of course, if you don't have a guilty conscious then you could always cheat, but that would make you a douche bag.

I wish more men thought like this. If you cannot handle staying with one woman, do not get married.

[steviej]

So if you try initiating sex more often, what happens? She's not up for it?
I'd probably start upping the compliments 'damn you look sexy in that!' Etc. Then start humping her leg like a horny puppy until she gets the message...