I want to let go of him completely

[happycow]

Recently I found I am in a dead end dating where the man is always unavailable, and for the last few months only when I called in that he called back. At first he was very keen to get to know me and said many sweet things about the whole thing for real and for long term. But after 2 months, when things cooled down, his mind also cool down and I was not aware of that.

I opted for taking a break because I feel neglected and disrespected when he did not return call. I asked him if he will have time in the future after the break, he said he will never have time. He asked to break up and asked me to be his friend. At that I was very shocked to hear that and very upset. I readily agreed because I could not accept total break.

But now I want to break away from him forever. He will never change unless he wants to. He even left me when I needed support most. I am having physical conditions that he is aware of and yet he left me. I was so angry and hurt.

I am not interested in him anymore. His image has totally changed. I will never fall for him if he ever calls back. But his record of calling back is very very poor. I even doubt if he will ever call back to befriend with me, though he asked for that. May be he wants to look more like a gentleman, but he is a jerk. How can someone hold onto another person without telling them that he is just in for fun and not for long term. Will his conscience feel peace by wasting other people's time? I would never do that to the other party if I know what my intentions are.

If I keep the idea of him as my friend, or him coming back as my friend, I am asking for troubles. I cannot completely let go of him, which feels yuck. I don't want to keep telling myself that I cannot have feelings for him when I talk to him again next time. I don't want to always remind myself that he is just a jerk that I cannot fall for. So my only bet is he will never call back and ask about my well being. He just wanted to save face. This is not a very happy ending that I want to let go of the whole thing completely no matter who is right or who is wrong, no matter whether he is lying or whether he still has feelings for me. I don't care. He is too jerky.

I don't want to call him again. The whole thing has been ended by him. There is no way that I will call back ever. My agreeing to be friends is just being polite, but I did not mean it. I hope he thinks so. But I don't want to call him and tell him we are not friends anymore. Making it to blunt is very hurtful for me. I have been hurt enough.

Is it wise to say to him if he ever calls back, may be in 2 years time or more or forever, that I want our communcations to be minimal?

[Yet another guy]

Just forget about him. If he calls, just say that you are sorry but you can't have any contact because you aren't over him. Or if you don't mind being jerk yourself, just block his number.

[rodav120]

Well, since you are not interested in him anymore, just cut it. Don't torture yourself.

Maybe, he was only just being polite when he asked you be friends.

Don't waste your time on it.

[devonbrown]

Exactly, just don't talk to him. Even if he calls, don't pick up. Concentrate on your life, not on him. Do things that make you happy and be around others that you enjoy. The memory of him will fade if you let it.

Good luck.

[happycow]

Even if I am completely over him, it will still not be wise to keep him as a friend as old memories will come play and keep playing in my mind. It will be very unhealthy for my well being even though I would like to have known a friend like him before.

The old memories are scars and they will always hurt you. I think the only way to heal is to forget totally and no chance for friends.

I don't know how others do it. May be they can stay as friends after break up, but it will be very difficult. They will carry on the image left long time ago. They may have some unconscious expectations of each other unknowingly. And it will create more subtle troubles. Life is short, is it really worth it?

Does anyone have any opinions?