Room with me?

[Nie]

We're pushing the 4 year mark next month. My guy, he's a total sweetheart. Both of us are 22, and we have been living together for three years when we studied abroad, in separate rooms but under the same roof. Now that we're back in our home country, he lives with his parents and I live with mine.

Here's the problem. Having lived together for three years, I found it extremely hard to adjust to not being able to see him often. With him already started work (as an auditor mind you, with ****ing crazy work hours), we only get to see each other once a week. It is torturous! When he is working, I respect his space and recognize his commitments and therefore don't demand him to call me or text or anything during his work hours (averaging between 13 to 15 hours a day), but of course I do find myself checking my phone constantly to see if he contacts me.

I hate to admit it but not being able to be in contact with him drives me nuts. I'm getting more erratic with constant mood swings and emotional nights thinking about him, missing him. I will be starting work next month, and will be moving out from home. I feel the urge to ask him to room with me, but am I being selfish? I know his parents are a tad more conservative than mine, and would most likely object to him rooming with me.

He has committed himself to me. He is serious about this relationship and would like to take it to the aisle some day in the near future. I have hinted my wish to room in with him. However, because he has lived with me for the past three years, he feels the need to (and i quote him) build a stronger personality and identity because we have been influencing each other for the past three years. I get where he is coming from, and I agree with his idea of being your own entity but I don't see how rooming in will NOT help us achieve the ideal. He and I won't be working in the same company, and we both won't be seeing each other only until 11pm-ish during weekdays if we do room in. For the most part, he'd be spending time with his colleagues, not with me. So how is his argument relevant?

If he stands firm on his ground and refuse to room in with me, I'd be devastated. I can't handle the once a week meetup, I just can't handle it. I am the type of girl who needs physical presence and touch. I miss him badly, to the point where it is making me miserable and I snap at everything else in my way. I have been having thoughts about breaking things off because I have been so miserable.

What do you guys think?

[devonbrown]

It sounds like your personalities are not matching. You need a lot of attention and presence and he doesn't. Those two types of personalities do not normally go well together as you can imagine. If he doesn't want to room with him, you can't force him though. You just have to decide if this is a dealbreaker for you.

Good luck.