Molested?

[iHEARTu]

Okay... So.. We were having a movie night with my housemates. We all got together in the biggest room and layer blankets and heaps of pillows and shit down. I ended up lying next to my one of my guy friends. He was rubbing my back (cause it feels damn good and relaxes me so much). He'd occasionally rub my ass and my upper thigh from the back, but it really didn't bother me that much. He did end up going in my pants to massage my ass. And at one point put my hand on his dick. I had some whisky, wine and vodka before, so I was a bit tipsy, flirtatious and horny... So I did touch him down there for like a few seconds before I was like "it's kinda wrong, can't do that shit".

Anyway we all went to sleep. I got up in the middle of the night, somehow. My guy friend was awake and was like, rubbing my body. I was kinda shocked i guess- i had no idea what to do. He kissed me, groped me, sucked me, fingered me and nearly raped me. FML. he tried anal first, and the pain kinda jolted my body into moving so he got scared and stopped for a while, then tried doing it from the front. At this point the shock had subsided and I had to stop him somehow. So I pretended I got up. And he stop-stopped from then...

Uhm. So we're like best buddies. So I don't wanna lose that friendship. I have a boyfriend, and I'm not sure what to do cause I feel like a whore (cause I didn't stop him soon enough and I kinda did touch him as well....) I'm scared cause idk what to do. I can't tell my housemates, I can't tell my bf, I can't tell my family.. So please help!

What do I do..?

[sadie_genie]

You were not molested; you went along with it. Since you have a boyfriend, you cheated on him. The right thing to do is confess to your boyfriend because hiding about it is wrong. Plus, who knows, he might find out from other sources and know you tried to hide it from him.

[Bonfire]

So he tried to molest you while you were asleep? And you still want him as a friend? If I was your boyfriend, I would beat this guy nearly death. Even though you did play around a little earlier but as soon as you fell asleep, he should know it's not right to try something with you when you are not awake. He is a creep. You may keep this a secret but do you want to really keep this asshole in your life? Kick him in the nutsack and tell him to F**K OFF!

[Yet another guy]

Err, I'm a bit confused. Do you really think that he thought you were asleep during the whole time? If not, there's nothing wrong with what he did. If he really did think you were asleep, that was really creepy and unacceptable. You on the other hand went along with it and cheated on your boyfriend.

[devonbrown]

I agree that this guy trying to do this stuff on you while you were asleep is very creepy and you should not want to be around him any longer. You said you were drinking some, so he might have thought you were passed out and decided to have his way with you. That is not really different from slipping you a rape date drug and attacking you. Get away from this guy.

[blinki]

hmm... i don't know, i mean, you didn't try to stop him. you are not a child being made by an adult to do these things (or let them do it to you). you didn't stop him, so why should he think you don't want him to do it? sorry, but i would never let someone do this to me.

i also think he thought you were awake, and allowing it, because you didn't stop him from doing it earlier. you also said you were flirtatious and horny... so... i don't know. maybe that's something to think about.

i think what you did is cheating, and because you now feel bad about it, you want to accuse him of molesting you? don't do that. don't accuse someone of something like that, just because you were intoxicated and allowed him to do it.

AND you touched him back???? wtf..,

they only thing i see wrong with this is you cheating on your boyfriend, and him doing this when he knows you have a boyfriend.

god, i don't know... i can't believe you didn't try and stop him if you didn't want him to do it. there were other people in the house who would have helped you.

[Saya]

You weren't molested.... what you should of done is stop him from the start...stop him when he was rubbing your back/rubbing your bottom...You were leading him on!
You basically cheated on your boyfriend and your worried that your going to lose friendship with this guy?
You have to tell your bf what happened.

[Gratedwasabi]

Please clarify the last part. Did he sneak into your room or something and thought you were asleep? Or was it clear you were awake?

If he thought you were asleep, it's assault and you should call the police. And to all of you saying that "you should have stopped it" you should learn a bit more about the way the body and mind reacts to sexual assault. The reason there are so many rapes every day is because the body and mind locks up. You would think you'd start screaming, but that rarely is the case; you kind of freeze up and eventually switch to survival mode which is basically "let it happen" and sometimes even do things to make it over more quickly.

If you were clearly awake/going along with it, well, you cheated. The earlier massaging he was completely kosher, though, as you rubbed his dick for a bit. That is pretty much a giant "YES" in every language. HOWEVER. That only consents to what he was doing then.

[Horseyguy]

Where was the "NO" or the "Stop it" in all of this? and I hear what the poster above is saying but this could have all been avoided when he put his hands in your pants (At which point according to your post) you were awake, and on the floor with a group of your house mates watching a movie

You could have just got up and moved at that point or told him to stop, shouted hey leave my arse alone.

But no, you grabbed his dick instead. This sent a very clear signal that you were ok with what was occuring

The fact that you let it get that far says to me you wanted it to happen, and yes, that means you cheated on your boyfriend

This sounds so much like a thread few weeks back "He raped me" where some chick had anal sex in the shower with a room mate, which ended up not being a rape at all but mutual sex but she regretted it afterwards so claimed she was raped.

[Gratedwasabi]

Where was the "NO" or the "Stop it" in all of this? and I hear what the poster above is saying but this could have all been avoided when he put his hands in your pants (At which point according to your post) you were awake, and on the floor with a group of your house mates watching a movie

You could have just got up and moved at that point or told him to stop, shouted hey leave my arse alone.

But no, you grabbed his dick instead. This sent a very clear signal that you were ok with what was occuring

The fact that you let it get that far says to me you wanted it to happen, and yes, that means you cheated on your boyfriend

This sounds so much like a thread few weeks back "He raped me" where some chick had anal sex in the shower with a room mate, which ended up not being a rape at all but mutual sex but she regretted it afterwards so claimed she was raped.

Like I said, it depends. Just because a guy is giving you a bit of a naughty massage and you briefly rub his crotch doesn't mean you consent in any way to him trying to **** you later while you sleep. That said, it does sound more like she (the OP) is just regretting that she was fooling around with this guy.

[surfhb]

Just because a guy is giving you a bit of a naughty massage and you briefly rub his crotch doesn't mean you consent in any way to him trying to **** you later while you sleep.

FOR REALS?! lol Im sorry but if a woman grabs my crotch its on!! This is how women get "raped'

[Gratedwasabi]

FOR REALS?! lol Im sorry but if a woman grabs my crotch its on!! This is how women get "raped'

You're dumb.

[vashti]

If I am laying down next to a male, letting him rub my back, my thighs, and my ass (especially under my clothes!), and I reciprocate by touching his penis, I EXPECT he will try to have sex with me. That's the way sex works. Duh.

Therefore, if I don't want him to make a move on me in that direction, I don't lay next to him, I don't let him rub on my body (especially under my clothes), and I certainly don't touch his penis.

This is all common sense, and it worries me that anyone over the age of 15 has so little of it.

[surfhb]

You're dumb.

Wow! Impressive retort! Glad to know you go around grabbing a guys crotch while saying "no" !

This is all common sense, and it worries me that anyone over the age of 15 has so little of it.

Thank You!

[josh44]

I sent you a PM. I hope you got it ok.

Josh