How to approach the girl I'm dating for sex?

[vashti]

Why not? Now that you are single again why not enjoy it? Besides you'd probably be a pretty fun booty call

Germ phobias.

Besides, men don't tend to keep women around who have sex too soon, and I think I am getting to be too old to be passed around like a two-bit whore. And I feel a need to be respected. (dammit)

[vashti]

In my own personal experience, most of the women who still weren't ready to have sex with me by the third date never had sex with me.

Good point. I suppose if I were blown away by someone, I wouldn't be wondering if I wanted to have sex with them.

[ShellyZ]

The vast majority of women do not have sex by the third date. Men just want to convince us that it's normal so more women will do it. There are many possible reasons why she might be taking things slow. Don't believe that she's either frigid or she doesn't like you. I find that the most common reason is risk aversion. Having sex with someone new is risky, not just physically, but emotionally. It's possible that she's been hurt in the past and now wants to take things slow to avoid getting hurt again. Maybe she's just waiting until she knows how you feel about her. Some women are cautious and prefer to wait until trust builds. There's nothing wrong with that. Personally, I don't have sex until I'm in an exclusive relationship with the guy. I'll do plenty of other stuff in the meantime (except blow jobs), but sex is not a casual thing for me so I save it for committed relationships. I've never had a guy bail out because of that, so I know there are plenty of reasonable guys out there who don't expect sex when we barely know each other.

I suppose if I were blown away by someone, I wouldn't be wondering if I wanted to have sex with them.

It's not usually a matter of wondering if you want to have sex with the guy. It's usually a matter of wondering if you can trust the guy. Maybe some women trust very fast or maybe they don't need to trust the guy before they sleep with him, but if the girl is waiting awhile, it's probably a trust issue. With my last boyfriend, I wanted to have sex with him very early (and he could tell, he said it was fun to watch me try to restrain myself). But I didn't because I wasn't sure of his motives and I didn't know him well enough to trust him completely. It drove me crazy to wait because I was extremely attracted to him, but I waited until we'd been in a relationship for a couple months. By then, I knew I could trust him and I felt comfortable being vulnerable with him.

Sorry guys, but not all women will be ready to jump into bed with you right away, even if they're attracted to you. If you're impatient and all you care about is sex (and you have an outrageous sense of entitlement), then feel free to move on to another girl. But if you really like the girl, I don't think it would kill you to wait a little bit. OP, you might want to have a gentle conversation with your girl to find out how she's feeling and find out if you're dealing with a girl who has a history of trauma or abuse. Not to say that all girls who like to wait have been abused in the past (I'm sure most of them have not), but you never know. You could also ask her what her fears/concerns are, because I'm sure they're valid.

[CAM]

Bull shit, so dating is just for sex? How aboit some girls don't want sex before marry?

Good point.

[abn25]

I also feel there is no time limit but both people should be relatively on the same page. If you have absolutely no idea when or if she wants to be with you physically, its time to have a talk, thats it. Generally I think women who want a real relationship want to take it slow and should be up front about this, some men as well.

[doppelgaenger]

Germ phobias.

Besides, men don't tend to keep women around who have sex too soon, and I think I am getting to be too old to be passed around like a two-bit whore. And I feel a need to be respected. (dammit)

2-bit? That's ancient. I wonder how a 64-bit whore would get passed around.

[HeartIsAching]

You should have followed the third date rule. Now it's awkward because you have put so much time into this relationship and it isn't going anywhere. Try getting her drunk to see if that will lower her inhibitions. Otherwise, you might want to consider moving on.

Some states call that rape.

[Sonrisa]

date rape is hot!

[Boisdevie]

Besides, men don't tend to keep women around who have sex too soon, and I think I am getting to be too old to be passed around like a two-bit whore. And I feel a need to be respected. (dammit)

In your experience but does that make it true?
My current partner and I had sex on the second date - we've been together 9 months. Before that my ex and I had sex on the second date and we were together for 8 years. Before that my ex wife and I had sex on our second date - we were together for 13 years. Everyone is different.

[rvanodia]

3 months and no sex yet. That is not fair with you.

[VincenzoG91]

Some states call that rape.

That would be the state of confusion. If an uptight woman now wants to have sex because alcohol lowered her inhibitions, there is no rape involved. If instead she still says no, no means no.

[surfhb]

Some states call that rape.

In the beacon of morality that is Arkansas perhaps?

[tehwarlock]

She can't say no if she's unconscious, so like nike says, just do it! Lol